


Cave of Poppies

by nea_writes



Category: D.Gray-man
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Dissociation, Gen, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Mystery, Unreliable Narrator
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-27
Updated: 2017-07-23
Packaged: 2018-07-26 13:38:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 14
Words: 60,931
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7575988
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nea_writes/pseuds/nea_writes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Allen Walker disappeared without a trace six years ago. On the first day of high school, Alma and Kanda are stunned to see him in their classroom, white haired and scarred, with a blond guard dog who seems to be less and less friendly as time goes by.</p><p>They’re determined to find out what happened during those empty six years, and Allen is as equally determined to keep it a secret.</p><p>There are skeletons in everyone’s closets, after all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired heavily by liketolaugh's fic Juxtaposition, a lovely fic featuring Allen, Alma, and Kanda in the first grade. Go give it a read! I recommend reading it first, since it provides the groundwork for this fic.
> 
> My first and, when completed, last fic in dedication to dgm. Updated (hopefully) at least once a month.

Allen sat nervously, fiddling with the cuff of his sleeve. In the seat next to him, Link slowly flipped the page of a book, idly reading as he waited for the bell to ring. Allen wished he’d thought to bring something to do, and Link wouldn’t share his book until he was done with it. Sighing, Allen took to drumming his gloved fingers against the fake grain of the desk, staring blankly at the whiteboard.

“Stop fidgeting, Walker,” Link said tersely. “You’ve been doing it since this morning and it’s _beyond_ annoying.” He flipped another page. Link’s blond hair stood out against the dark school uniform, and Allen mourned the likely fact that his hair probably stood out even more.

“Sorry Link,” Allen replied, not at all sorry. “I’m just nervous.”

At that, Link lowered his book, peering at Allen thoughtfully. “You are, aren’t you? That’s odd.”

The clock over the door said it was five minutes until class started. “It’s not odd at all. In fact, it’s downright normal! It’s the first day of school!”

“You’re slipping,” Link noted, and Allen scowled, going back over his words. He coughed lowly and continued.

“And anyways, why would it be odd at all?”

“Walker, you’re downright happy when you’re lost in a crowd. Since when are you nervous about meeting people?” Link demanded, gaze suddenly sharp as he tugged a notebook from his bag.

Allen watched as he also pulled a pen out. “It’s not the people I’m nervous about,” he muttered, darting a glance at his classmates.

“No?” Link encouraged, but the bell rang and the teacher stalked in. He was an older gentleman with short hair combed-back, but he had a sharp look to his eyes. He slapped some books and papers onto the podium of which he barely made the height for and cleared his throat.

The class quieted and faced forward, and he began.

“Good morning everyone, and welcome to your first day of school. I’m your homeroom teacher, Mr. Louis Fermi.” He turned around and wrote his name on the board, marker squeaking. “Call me Mr. Fermi.”

A kid said, “If you don’t want us to call you Louis, why mention it?”

Mr. Fermi seemingly ignored it. “I have your schedules here, come get it when I call you. If you don’t come when called, I’ll consider you absent.”

Their homeroom was rather small, a measly fifteen students, and Link dutifully noted the names Allen stiffened at. Just as Allen was going to raise his hand and helpfully inform the teacher that he and Link hadn’t been called, the student from earlier tentatively raised his.

“Uh, you didn’t call my name.” He wore a hooded shirt, and what little Allen could see of him, who sat several seats ahead of Allen, was the tail end of purple eyeliner.

“And you didn’t call mine,” Mr. Fermi retorted, the class erupting into titters.

The boy groaned dramatically, rolling into his seat. “Fine, _Mr. Fermi_ , can I get my schedule?”

“Get up here Mr. Barry,” Fermi rolled his eyes, brandishing the pink schedule.

“Call me Daisya,” he insisted, grinning, and Fermi shooed him off. Before Allen could raise his hand, Fermi was already looking at him and Link.

“Yes, Mr. Walker and Mr. Link, I am aware I missed your names. Since you’re the only new students in this school, come up here and introduce yourselves, yes?”

“Yes sir,” Allen cheerfully replied, relieved. He nodded at Link, who obediently followed Allen to the front. The class chattered softly when they caught Allen’s white hair and red scar, and Link’s long blond braid. “You two are right trouble-makers, aren’t you?” Mr. Fermi said, aghast.

“Oh no, sir,” Allen laughed. “I rather think we’re quite the opposite.” He focused on the eclectic gaggle of students by the door with a grin.

“ _Walker_ ,” Link growled, and Allen huffed a little _oops_ before smiling towards the class.

“Hello everyone. I’m Allen Walker and I just moved here. Call me Allen!” A boy’s gasp stood out from the students’ muted chatter, and Allen briefly shut his eyes, knowing it’d been beyond a hope to think they’d forgotten.

Link stepped forward, nodding his head to the students briefly and glancing towards the boy who’d gasped. “Hello. I am Howard Link. Please call me Link.”

Fermi looked like he had something to say, but shook his head and gestured towards the door. “The principal wants to see you two. Something about matching your classes to your previous school’s curriculum. Come see me afterwards when you’re done.”

* * *

Allen disappeared the summer they were ten.

Charming and lovely, he, Kanda, and Alma had been inseparable friends since first grade. Despite their long years of friendship, Kanda and Alma, who lived on the same block, rarely visited Allen’s home, who lived on the other side of town. They only went a handful of times, and Kanda didn’t know why Allen was always so nervous to have them over.

His apartment was neat and clean, soft and open. The kind of home that always had sheer white curtains gently waving from open windows, flowers tilting towards the sun in window boxes and tables always set with sandwiches and snacks. Allen had his own room decorated in yellows and blues, and his father had a smile that reminded Kanda of warm chocolate chip cookies. A pleasant place, overall, and Kanda didn’t see what Allen was so ashamed of.

His _uncle_ , on the other hand, _was_ the embodiment of embarrassment, so that Kanda could get. But Allen’s uncle was always traveling, popping in a few odd times a year and gone within the week.

Alma said it was because he and Kanda lived in houses three levels high with maids, but Kanda didn’t see what difference that made. Still, he didn’t argue it, and hell. Allen _did_ live on the other side of town, and no cookies or sandwiches or tea was worth the trek.

So it was a struggle for Alma and Kanda, both ten years old and looking even younger with their big Asian eyes, to find their way to Allen’s apartment. It took two bus transfers and a veiled threat from Kanda to reach the complex.

It was a wasted effort in the end.

They knocked on Allen’s red door, waited until Alma began to squirm, and then knocked again. On their fifth time knocking, a kindly neighbor opened their door and informed them primly that the Walkers were on vacation and wouldn’t be back for some time and could they please stop knocking?

Kanda cursed Allen six ways to sunday, spat at his door, and stomped back downstairs. Alma tugged a paper and pencil from his backpack, scribbled a hasty note and slipped it into their mailbox, and hastened after Kanda.

Morosely, the two sat on the short space of lawn in front of the apartment, and after they ate their packed snacks, Kanda announced, “I hope he doesn’t come back.”

Alma gasped. “Don’t say that,” he grouched, elbowing Kanda, who scowled. “Maybe they went in a rush! Maybe a cousin in...where’s he from? England? Maybe a cousin in England is dying and they had to go!”

Kanda scoffed. “Didn’t you hear that old lady? They went on _vacation_. And anyways, the only family they’ve got is that no good uncle, and God himself could try and kill ‘im and he’d fail!”

Alma considered that and agreed. Cross didn’t seem like the type to die before he was ready, but then that would mean Allen had left them without a word. Alma hunched over his backpack in his lap, wrapping his arms around his knees and crushing the purple plastic to his chest. Kanda huffed and bumped his shoulder almost gently.

“Don’t worry about it. He’ll be back in time for school with that stupid smile and with a whole story. Come on, let’s go catch the next bus.”

Allen didn’t come back.

Summer blew by in the way they tend to when you’re a kid, and school came all too soon. Like always, Kanda and Alma were in the same class, but unlike always, Allen wasn’t there.

They waited and waited, but that summer, Allen disappeared. No matter how many times they went back to his apartment, the neighbor always said they were out. In the end, the landlord came and kindly told them that while the apartment was still being paid for, they simply weren’t there.

Baffled, Alma, bless him, went to his parents with Kanda and demanded to know if Allen’s dad or uncle had left any word with them.

Confused, Alma’s mother, Twi Chan, whose name Kanda could never pronounce no matter how often Alma slowly said it, turned to her husband confused. They shared a look, and Twi looked at the children with something like sadness in her black eyes. “And they’re still paying the bills?” She asked incredulously.

Kanda nodded, biting back the initial remark of _that’s what we_ said.

She hummed. “Then I don’t know what to tell you. Something must be holding them back...wherever they are. Don’t worry too much, it’ll be fine.”

In the safety of Alma’s room, Kanda threw Alma’s stuffed panda across the room, “Does she think we’re that stupid?”

“Of course not, especially when you act like this,” Alma replied sarcastically. No matter how often Twi and Edgar were affectionate towards Kanda, he always felt belittled.

“But I’m not?” Kanda said, confused and feeling insulted.

Alma waved it away. “Nevermind.” He didn’t feel like explaining to Kanda for the fiftieth time that Twi and Edgar’s teasing and jokes were a kind of endearment. He thought Kanda was rather cute for not understanding, anyways.

Eventually, when a summer turned into two, three, four, and on, Kanda pushed Allen away. Alma mentioned him every now and then, frowning when Kanda never replied, and then slowly stopped remembering the name at all.

The pictures in the Karma houses featuring the trio all were stored away in favor of ones of an older Alma and Kanda, and soon even Alma forgot there had been a best friend called Allen who had fought with Kanda every day.

As Fate is wont to do, Allen reappeared their sophomore year of highschool. 

* * *

Allen led the way for two minutes before Link snagged his wrist, turned the opposite direction, and stiffly announced that “The cafeteria is no where _near_ the principal’s office, Walker!”

The academy, an escalator school that went from first to twelfth, was huge and sprawling and promised many misadventures with his unfortunate rivalry with a compass. Thank God he had Link with him. Link, at least, could read a map, and a school as large at theirs actually did warrant a map, which Allen thought was just a little ridiculous. But then again, this was a school for the filthy rich. Allen had never quite fallen under that category, but in Cross’ words:

“Like hell my filthy nephew will be in anything but the best.”

It was a kind of love Allen could not appreciate. But he had managed to sneak a peek into the cafeteria hall and it was love at first sight. Still, Link had determinedly lead them away from the looming mess hall and towards the administrative building.

Inside, a weary Mr. Reever waved the two into Komui’s office, and Allen raised a brow once they were in.

“Komui, is something wrong?” Allen asked, peering around the stacks of papers threatening to break the principal’s desk. “Actually, how do you have so much paperwork when school _just_ started?”

Thin and haggard from stress. Komui sighed into his palm. “I don’t _know_ Allen,” he said, staring morosely into his cold coffee cup. He glanced up at the two, feeling even more stressed. “There isn’t really a problem, I just wanted to have an excuse to talk to you two before the semester started and everything went to hell. Here,” he yanked two pink sheets from under a mountain that threatened to topple and bury them all in papers, and Allen took the paper while cautiously watching the wobbling tower.

He gave Link his schedule and looked at his. Frowning, Allen double-checked and even snagged Link’s paper to firmly compare the two, ignoring Link’s indignant shout. “Are they supposed to be identical?” Allen asked tersely.

“Of course Walker,” Link snorted, finally snatching his schedule back and folding it primly. He tucked it into his notebook and snapped the leather binding shut with a clasp. “I _am_ here to watch you.”

“Of course. I must’ve forgotten,” Allen replied. Link’s lip began to curl, but Komui’s cough distracted them.

“Allen,” Komui began hesitantly, and a cold knot formed in Allen’s stomach. “I know… I know you can’t help what’s happening, but I’d like it to stay outside of the school. Can you do that?”

Allen felt bad that he was bothering the principal, and he smiled to reassure Komui. “Of course, Mr. Lee. I just want to finish high school. They promised to wait until then.”

“Good. Great.” Komui clapped his hands twice, smiling despite the awkward tension. “Alright, off you two are. I’ll see you around.”

“Yes, Mr. Lee,” Allen said, and Link nodded his head.

* * *

“He’s _alive_ , Yuu!” Alma said excitedly, eyes bright and starry, shaking Kanda by the shoulders hurriedly.

“He never died!” Kanda snarled, slapping Alma’s hands away. “They still paid the dumbass bills!”

“He’s alive, Yuu! Alive!” Alma danced in circles around Kanda, laughing joyously. “Alive, alive, alive! Alive, alive, alive!”

“We _fucking_ get it!” Kanda snapped, grabbing Alma by the arm and shoving him into a seat. “So shut up!”

“Testy much, Yuu?” Lavi teased, twisted in his chair to face the two behind him and laughing when Kanda snapped, “Don’t call me that!”

“Who’s alive?” Lenalee asked, also turned around and elbows propped on the back of her chair.

“Allen!” Alma cried, shooting up in his chair and being forced back down by Kanda, who stood by his desk. “Allen’s _back_! Oh, I could almost cry!”

“You’re already crying, dumbass,” Kanda sniped, and Alma huffed a laughed through the tears, wiping them away with the back of his hand.

“Woah, woah!” Lenalee half-stood in her seat, digging a handkerchief from her skirt pocket to hand to Alma, who laughed again.

“Who still keeps a napkin?” Kanda huffed, and Lenalee frowned as she sat back down.

“My brother insists on it,” Lenalee explained. “For my ‘delicate sensibilities,’ or whatever that means.” Lavi snorted in amusement, and Alma folded the handkerchief, promising Lenalee to return it once he’d washed it.

“So, Allen’s been here before?” Lavi asked curiously, and Alma nodded, eyes bright.

“Yep! He, me, and Kanda used to be best friends back in elementary school!”

“We aren’t friends,” Kanda growled, and Lenalee and Lavi looked at him strange, before realizing he meant Allen and not Alma.

“You totally were,” Alma laughed. “Anyways, we were really close, and then one summer he and his dad just up and left. No explanation, nothing. And now they’re back!”

Kanda hummed beneath his breath, and Alma tilted his head. “I wonder if they’re still in that apartment. It’s been awhile since we’ve checked, hm Yuu?”

“Mm,” Kanda agreed, staring distractedly elsewhere.

“Oh,” Lenalee said. “Well, introduce us, then!”

“I hope we have classes together,” Alma cheerfully said. Most of them had classes together, though it was only homeroom and English that all four had together. Lavi had chosen German for his foreign language class, Alma and Kanda Spanish 2, and Lenalee had also decided to continue her French. Lavi proclaimed that one year of French was all he could take.

“Walker. Stop complaining,” someone said forcefully, catching the group’s attention. They turned to the doorway, where Link and Allen were walking in clutching sheets a hotter pink than theirs.

“Link you already _know_ German! What does it matter?” Walker replied irritably, almost crumpling his paper in his hand.

“Because it’ll be absolutely aggravating to have to sit and learn something you already know! _Nein_. Anyways, we’ve already changed it.”

They watched as Walker sighed, smiling slightly. “I hope you know that I also know French.”

Link looked annoyed. “I am also passable for Level 2.”

“Wonderful,” Allen said sarcastically, and then stopped when he realized they were staring at him. Homeroom wasn’t over yet, but Mr. Fermi had gone through his instructions rapidly, and so the rest of the time was left for everyone to reacquaint themselves and brag about their summer.

It was only Alma and his group, though a few odd students were also watching Allen and Link. Alma grinned big enough for the Sun to be jealous of, and stood in his seat to greet them, but Kanda was already striding to the two.

Link stiffened as Kanda stopped but a three feet away from Allen, face stormy. Allen sighed as if Kanda already tired him.

“Hello, Kanda,” Allen said politely, and something in Kanda snapped, who surged forward and fisted the collar of Allen’s shirt in his hand, eyes dark with anger.

“ _Hello_ my _ass_! Where the fuck were you?” Kanda looked two seconds away from punching Allen, who grinned. Link hovered nearby, tense.

“Aw, I didn’t realize you were that worried!”

“Didn’t rea- what the fuck! You were gone! You _disappeared_ without a damn word!” Kanda was shouting at this point, and the whole class had gone silent, watching them. Alma stopped behind Kanda’s elbow, sunny disposition gone as what had occurred to Kanda earlier finally occurred to him.

“I didn’t have a choice,” Allen sniffed.

Kanda stared at Allen, then turned dismissively. “I don’t have time to waste on someone like you. You’re just a damn curse.” He stalked out of the classroom, and Allen remember Mr. Fermi. He glanced up at the man who sat at his desk in the back of the room.

Fermi, sensing the gaze, glanced up from his book and asked, “Are you two done?”

“Yes, Mr. Fermi. I’m sorry for the disruption.” Allen bowed his head, and Fermi shrugged.

“Don’t let it happen again.” The man simply said, turning back to his book and dismissing the case.

“Walker,” Link growled, and Allen turned nervously back. Link looked ready to burst. “You didn’t tell me you had history here.”

“It didn’t come up?” Allen replied hesitantly, and Link ground his teeth.

“I’ll want the story. In detail.”

“Sure, Link,” Allen agreed, and finally looked at Alma.

Alma had grown taller than Allen, but was still shorter than Kanda. The scar across his nose and hair had grown longer, too, but the hairstyle was still the same even if it was dyed an interesting purple-blue mix, with his ear lobes pierced, ruby red small studs glinting. Allen distractedly thought it looked rather similar to Kanda's red hair tie.

Alma’s earlier smile was gone, and he looked almost angry. “You know,” Alma began before Allen could. “I was actually really happy you were back. So happy I cried. But Yuu reminded me, now. And…” Alma looked down to his sneaker-clad feet. “Well, now I’m really mad, and… don’t really want to look at you. But, well, I still want to talk to you.”

Allen looked down as the guilt coiled in his stomach. “I understand, Alma. Don’t feel bad. I’ll explain later, when we don’t have an audience.” Alma laughed at the remark, and Allen felt some of the pressure ease, and he returned the smile.

“Okay, come over. Let me introduce you to my friends. And introduce yours to me, too.”

Link frowned and said, “We’re not fr-” but Allen cut him off with a look that silenced him. The teen turned back to Alma with a sunny smile.

“Sure, Alma.”

Link followed Allen and Alma to the window seats, where Lavi and Lenalee were still sitting.

“Introductions!” Alma announced, and Lenalee smiled. “This here is Lenalee Lee! She’s totally cool and has a really strong kick. Don’t mess with her.” Alma teased, and Lenalee laughed lightly. “This is Lavi! He’s got a really good memory, so watch what you say cuz it’ll come back to haunt you in an _awful_ way later!”

“Hey,” Lavi said. “I’m not so bad.”

Allen grinned. “I’m Allen Walker, and this is my friend, Howard Link, though call him Link.”

Before an awkward silence could fall - what with Alma being pissed and Allen being sorry-not-sorry and Link burning holes into the back of Allen’s head - the bell rang cheerily, a strange actual tune different from the usual thrill Alen was used to hearing.

Lenalee laughed at the look on Allen’s face, and Lavi cheerfully explained as he swung his messenger bag over his head. “Komui is Lenalee’s older brother, and once she complained that the bell was giving her a headache he _actually_ went and changed it. Now they change it once a month or something.”

As Link trailed back to their desks to grab their bags, Allen smiled as Lenalee blushed. “Don’t say it like that!” She insisted, shouldering her backpack and standing beside Alma, who had Kanda’s bag. “Lots of people were complaining. _Parents_ were complaining that their kids were complaining.”

Lavi shrugged, unrepentant. “He only changed it after you said something.”

Lenalee groaned and turned to Allen. “What class do you have now?”

Allen took his bag as Link came up, stumbling with the effort as he also tried to grab his schedule from his pocket. Link answered impatiently. “Math. Algebra 2.”

“You have it together?” Lenalee asked over Lavi’s “Sweet! Me too!”

Link nodded, but before he could say anything Allen broke in, finally unearthing his schedule and dragging his keychain with it. He smiled a thanks when Link stuffed his keys back into his pocket. “It’s with a Ms...Nine?”

“Ms. Nyne,” Lavi confirmed. “She’s also an assistant principal, so don’t pull shit in her class or your ass is _grass_. No, really. Don’t mess with her, that lady is brutal.”

Allen quirked an eyebrow, following Lenalee as she led the group from the class. “Sounds interesting.”

“Not as interesting as you,” Lavi countered, wagging his eyebrows and snorting when Allen frowned, confused. “Oh come on, you can’t come in here with white hair, a red-ass tattoo right on your face - which is just asking to get into a fight, by the way - AND a blond bulldog and _not_ be considered ‘interesting’.”

It took Link three seconds for him to realize who the bulldog comment was aimed at, and scowled fiercely. “Yes, it will be very interesting to tell Bookman about the crude carving you made in your school desk.” When Lavi choked and whipped his head towards Link fast enough to give him whiplash, Link bared his teeth in something one might generously call a smile.

“Oh, look at the time! Gotta go!” Allen said. He grabbed Link by the arm and hauled ass towards the stairs, ignoring Lavi’s shout and Lenalee’s laughter.

As he and Link ascended, with Link gruffly yanking his arm back from Allen’s grasp and taking the fore, Link grumbled, “And what was that, Walker?”

“What was what?” Allen asked innocently, half a mind wondering why on earth a school needed three floors. He was going to get _so_ lost.

“You _know_ what, but don’t worry. I have a list in my head that I will put to paper immediately,” Link remarked, and Allen groaned good naturedly.

“I know, I know. Come on, let’s get to Ms. Nyne’s class before we have to take another trip to the principal’s.”

Link scowled at the thought of trouble and hastened his pace, Allen laughing at his predictability.

In class, they picked seats close to the door and next to each other, and Lavi huffed playfully as he trailed them into a seat in front of them. “You know, we _could_ have walked together.”

“We could’ve,” Allen agreed.

Ms. Nyne stalked in on heels Allen swore could be lethal weapons, slapping a clipboard down on a podium at the front and coming to stop beside it with a clack that silenced the classroom. There was a large scar across her face that had Allen dying with curiosity, but she was still very beautiful.

She pursued her lips as her eyes came to a rest first on Allen, then Link, on Lavi, and finally on the class as a whole. “Hello everyone, I am your Algebra 2 teacher. If I have to backtrack and teach you _any_ geometry, you will wish you’d failed the last grade in the first place, am I understood?”

The class nodded hurriedly, and she smiled thinly and dangerously. It was the smile of someone used to getting their way and if not, then forcing their way, and Allen was pleased that math, while not his best, wasn’t his _worst_ subject (that would be art).

“Good. Now, this is the upper level class, so if you already feel like you can’t handle it, then I suggest you leave now and acquaint yourself with the advisor’s office, because we will be beginning our first subject in ten minutes, after I give a brief overview of our outline for the year and then a more in-depth look on what we will be covering this semester. Anyone? No? Then don’t bother me with it later. You,” she snapped, lips popping together loudly enough to mimic the snap of bubblegum, and Allen followed her pointed finger to a kid in a hood and face mask, who clearly looked like he’d rather die than be at the end of her finger. “Come up here and hand out these papers.”

“Yes ma'am,” he said meekly, and set to the task. Lavi whistled lowly.

“Poor Toma. He’s stuck being her yes-man now,” he whispered back to Allen.

“Junior over there. I have sharp ears, and there is never enough helpers. Get up here and distribute these textbooks,” Ms. Nyne snapped, finger moving to point at the stack of rather thick texts with a clipboard on top, an obscenely bright yellow paper on it.

Lavi jumped to the job, grinning widely. “Anything for a beautiful babe,” he remarked, sobering quickly when Ms. Nyne turned her glower on him. Allen looked down to avoid Nyne’s roving gaze, flicking through the syllabus Toma handed he and Link. While Allen felt rather prepared for an upper level class, the sheer amount that Nyne expected to get them through in one semester was appalling and a little worrying, and Allen suppressed a groan at the thought of all the homework the curriculum was promising.

* * *

The class moved along quickly enough, and they detoured to store their textbooks in their assigned locker on the first floor (freshman didn’t get lockers, which Allen thought was hilarious) and gamely went through their second class of history, which included no one Allen knew. In their third class they found Alma.

It was science, and Allen didn’t bother to check which science since he’d be ruddy at it either way. So he led Link towards the black lab table Alma sat at, perching on a stool with Link sitting beside him, both across Alma.

Alma smiled briefly when they sat, but it obviously was a forced polite gesture and not so sincere, so Allen returned it. It remained the three of them, until their teacher announced that all tables must have four members. The class rearranged itself, and they ended up with a fourth member no one knew, which preemptively ended any possible conversation.

Unfortunately - _for the moment_ , Allen told himself, _it’d get better_ , he promised himself - lunch was separated by grade, and so after finding a table - because Link swore up and down he’d never touch the cafeteria food - they eventually were surrounded once more by Lenalee, Lavi, Alma, and Kanda.

Allen began his first of two packed lunches courtesy of Link. “How has everyone’s day gone?” Allen asked mid-chew. He gazed curiously at the second graders squished into one corner and the sixth graders taking over the other half.

“Don’t talk with your mouth full,” Link snapped, primly beginning his own lunch which was smaller than half of one of Walker’s.

“Don’t be such a mom,” Allen snipped back and Link sniffed, offended.

Lavi regarded them with amusement. “My day has been pretty great, except for the whole, you know, becoming Nyne’s dog.”

“I’d wager that’s your fault,” Allen pointed out, reaching for his second sandwich, half a mind on trying to figure out why there were second and sixth graders.

“We have science together,” Alma piped up from beside Kanda, eyeing Allen’s lunch with something like awe and disgust mixed together. Or maybe it was jealousy? Allen couldn’t tell these things apart very well. Either way, he wasn’t sharing.

“That’s right! Let’s compare schedules,” Lenalee said, tugging hers out and grabbing Allen’s when he handed it over. “Ooh, we have French together. And we all have English together.” She frowned at the paper and glanced over at Kanda. “You also have study hall with Kanda.” The question obviously hanging there was, _why didn’t you two come together?_

“He still has that stick up his ass and couldn’t walk fast enough,” Allen commented, swallowing the last of his third sandwich and opening his second lunch. When a sixth grader looked over at his comment, Allen belated realized he probably shouldn’t have said something like that.

Kanda, who had peaceably been enjoying a simple and small lunch, almost audibly clacked his teeth together. “The fuck?” He demanded, slapping his chopsticks down across his lunch. “Where the hell do you get off saying a damn thing about me?”

“I wasn’t talking to you,” Allen sang, biting viciously into his apple and ignoring Link’s muttered curses. He was writing numbers in three lines in his notebook, and Allen couldn’t tell if it was their math homework or something else.

“The fuck you weren’t!” Kanda slammed his fist into his table, forcing all their dishes and trays to clatter dangerously. Alma scowled.

“Don’t start this shit again,” the teenager demanded tersely, setting his own fork down. “Don’t ruin our lunch. Please.”

And it was only because Alma said ‘please’ that Kanda grumbled and picked his chopsticks up again, and Allen finished his apple in three bites of silence.

“Oh-kay,” Lavi said slowly, finally reaching to start his own lunch. “I’ve never seen anyone piss Yuu off that fast and I was _there_ when that senior pushed Alma into the lockers.”

“Don’t call me that,” Kanda threatened, pointing his chopsticks at Lavi, and only picking at his food once more when Alma shot up another scowl, knowing how rude the gesture was.

Lavi laughed nervously and continued. “So, who are you? Like, really. You come back and turn Kanda’s world upside down, and that takes talent. Please, tell me your secrets.”

Allen laughed around his drink. “Don’t worry, I think you’re doing a good enough job on your own.” He side-eyed Link, who had his finished his lunch and had his journal fully out, entirely focused and noting something else down. Whether it was that aforementioned list or his argument with Kanda, Allen didn’t know, but he didn’t let his smile drop.

Alma spoke up then. “Like I said, we knew each other in elementary. There really was no one better than Allen at getting Kanda riled up, which was really cute, honestly.” He laughed when Kanda growled at the statement, and Allen looked proud.

Allen finally finished his second lunch, and turned to Link with a grin. “Thanks Link, it was great,” he said earnestly, grin growing when Link turned the slightest of pinks at the tips of his ears.

Lavi blinked, and Lenalee looked at them with big eyes that reminded Allen of the innocence of cow eyes. “Uh, are you two-?”

“No, no,” Allen laughed. “We have a deal, see. Link makes my lunch.”

“Which isn’t _nearly_ worth the effort,” Link coughed.

“It’s damn sickening, is what it is. I don’t even have an appetite anymore,” and as if to prove his point, Kanda slid his plate away from him. “Shit, at this rate, I’ll never eat lunch. What the fuck happened to you?”

Allen scowled. “Your face _almost_ ruins my appetite, but _you’re_ certainly not worth the damage.”

Kanda glared, and almost brightened when he noticed. “I see you need to eat all that, _beansprout_. You clearly still got lots left to grow into.”

Allen snapped back, “My name is _Allen_.”

“Beansprout.”

“It’s _Allen_ , Ba-kan _da_ , or should I just call you dumbass?”

Kanda sneered. “Maybe _I_ should just call you something different, hm? Ne-”

Allen stood and slammed his hands onto the table, jolting his food hard enough to fall off. Link swiped the closed lunch bags midair without effort, blinking up at Allen.

Allen paid him no mind, glaring thunderously at Kanda, who suddenly looked guilty.

“You’re a fucking asshole,” Allen said calmly, and even Lenalee could hear the real anger behind it. “Come on Link.” Allen turned without another a comment, and Link followed just the same, throwing a murderous glare at Kanda as he passed by.

The cafeteria remained silent until the doors closed behind the two, and then erupted into a cacophony of murmurs.

Their table remained just as silent for a few moments longer, before Alma, who was frowning and grumbling something that sounded a lot like cursing beneath his breath, said, “That was a dick move, Yuu, and you know it.” He, too, stood and left with his tray, leaving a sullen Kanda with a confused Lenalee and Lavi.

No matter how they asked, Kanda refused to explain, and lunch ended as awkwardly as it started.


	2. Chapter 2

 

Kanda had Allen figured out.

Never mind the weird ass hair and scar - that was a conversation for another time - he knew exactly what that smile was.

It was _You won’t understand_ and _It’s too much for you_ and _I’ll be gone soon, anyways_ , so like fuck Kanda was going to get involved in a mess like that. Allen was in something deep, some kind of trouble Kanda wanted nothing of.

But Alma, dumbass Alma, would throw himself headfirst into the shit that was Allen Walker. Alma, too, was a kind of curse Kanda knew would end badly, but that was a decision he’d made long ago, and one he’d accepted. He and Alma were fucked up already, they didn’t need the problems Allen had added onto their own.

Still, Kanda regretted the cafeteria incident. He had resolved to never mention that name again to Allen, still vividly remembering - even after all these years - the way Allen had screamed, like God himself would not hear him if he wasn’t loud enough.

It had shaken and scared Kanda, then, and still disturbed him now. He didn’t know why Allen hated the name so fiercely, didn’t know why it hurt Allen so much. It was just a name. Kanda was particular about his, too, but not like this. Not where he would murder someone at the mere mention of his name.

For a moment, Kanda truly believed Allen would wrap his hands around his throat and squeeze hard enough so that he’d never have to hear that dreaded name leave his lips again. His heart had stopped, suddenly, and the bitter taste of regret had coated his tongue when Allen had only walked away.

Kanda wasn’t a nice person by any stretch of the word, and he didn’t bother to hide it. But, he didn’t hurt others purposefully, and what he had done to Allen had been vicious. Alma, who would forgive Kanda of even murder, refused to speak to him.

Of course, Alma _would_ talk to him, but it’d be full of huffs and groans and complaints and needless bitching, and that would get old real quick. So, either way, Kanda needed to fix this, and if acting like the last six years hadn’t happened was the answer then, well.

Allen was good at keeping a secret.

* * *

 

Link dragged Allen into the nearest restroom, kicked everyone else out, and locked the door. Allen let this happen, standing morosely and angrily and confusedly by the sinks, hoisting himself up to sit on the counter once Link had finished his inspection.

He waited patiently, knowing what was to come.

“Walker,” Link hissed, and Allen marveled at how he made his name sound like a curse. “What was that?”

“ _That_ could mean a lot of things, Link. Gotta be specific.” Allen really shouldn’t play with fire like this. Just because Link made him lunches and woke him up in the mornings didn’t mean he wasn’t the dangerous dog of the Black Order.

“ _Don’t_ play coy with me, Walker!” Link growled, and, ah, there was the dog. Link looked two seconds away from tying Allen up and dragging him back to the apartment for an intense interrogation. “What made you lose your cool? I must know.”

Link, Allen thought sadly, must be very confused. Link himself had said he’d never had a mission as long as this one, and it must be hard to get close to a subject you had orders to kill.

“Kanda crossed a line he shouldn’t have, and really, it’s been a very nerve-wracking day.” Allen replied finally, watching Link’s wary eyes.

Link shifted back, resting his weight on one leg and crossing his arms in a manner he wouldn’t have done only a month ago. “He crossed a line? Walker, that wasn’t crossing a line. You looked like you were going to murder him.”

“Don’t exaggerate,” Allen giggled, and only realized after that perhaps laughing at that moment hadn’t been the wise thing to do. He sobered. “I wouldn’t kill him.”

Unspoken went the words, _I wouldn’t kill_ him. Link heard the assumption, though, and scowled. The moment weighed heavy between them, and Allen knew this was one of those moments where a person made a decision that changed things. How prominent this decision was, Allen didn’t know, but when Link sighed and ran his fingers through his bangs, Allen grinned.

“Don’t murder anyone in this school, Walker. It’ll be a pain to go through all the paperwork later.”

Allen laughed, genuinely this time. “Don’t lie to _me,_ Link. I know you love all those papers. It’s why you always end up doing half of mine.” Link looked incensed at being called out on this, and so Allen ducked a glance at his watch. It was broken anyways, but he always had a pretty good on grasp on time regardless. “Looks like lunch is almost over now. Let’s head back to class, and hope Kanda doesn’t kill me. Yeah?”

Link glared and Allen smiled, and everything was back to normal. They left the restroom to curious stares. There was already a rumor going around about the two of them, and while Allen didn’t really care, he knew Link would be _just_ the type to blush and stutter if someone brazenly asked him about the nature of their relationship. It would be funny, so Allen resolved to never tell Link what the school was thinking about them.

Class was as awkward as Allen could expect. Kanda simmered and growled and sulked in a corner desk, and Allen and Link had snagged a table close to the windows. Komui was on some kind of “new education” binge, apparently - and according to the incensed conversation he’d managed to overhear from a teacher’s lounge - and so their study hall was a victim to one of these attempts. Instead of the regular student desks, they were privileged to have these tables Link proclaimed looked like beans but Allen privately thought reminded him of kidneys. Still, it felt kind of nice to sit on the indent of the table and be surrounded by others. Not that anyone else was sitting with them, since Link’s glare was enough to keep even their teacher at bay.

It was towards the end, during the senior’s lunch, that Kanda finally made his way to them.

He was shoving a phone into his pocket and his glare had increased, so Allen guessed Alma had bitched him out about the earlier incident. You could always count on Alma to have a good head on his shoulders. But, considering it was _Alma_ , Allen wondered what that said about the rest of them.

It was kind of cute how easy it still was to read Alma and Kanda, especially when they were together. It was like settling down with an old familiar book and caressing the almost down-soft pages. It was comforting, to know that some things never changed.

Kanda bullied a kid to let go of his chair and dragged it over to their table, dropping his bag onto the table with a jolt that made Link frown.

Allen continued his math homework, determined to finish it at school, since Link was an equal slave driver at home. Honestly, did one _need_ to wash his walls more than once a month? Link apparently thought so.

“Beansprout,” Kanda called.

Allen flipped the worksheet over, pleased to find the backside easier than the front. Link had already finished, and while Allen didn't _think_ he’d gotten anything wrong, he made the mental note to snag Link’s version later.

“ _Beansprout_ ,” Kanda said again, kicking Allen in the shin. Allen hissed between his teeth, squeezing his eyes before glancing up with a glower.

“That’s _not_ my name,” Allen said. Then, thoughtfully, “you asshole.”

“Look, I shouldn’t have called you that,” Kanda said, ignoring Allen to glare at Link’s blond hair. “That… that was fucked up of me.”

It was as close to an apology as Kanda could get, Allen mused. He wondered, fleetingly, should he hold on to his anger. It wasn’t like he didn’t have the right to. While Kanda didn’t _really_ know what that name meant to Allen, he knew that it hurt Allen deeply. Allen could be angry. Could force himself to think of all the reasons to hold onto his anger like a lifeline.

But, with a sigh, he let go of his anger and gave Kanda a small smile. “It’s fine,” Allen said, ignoring Link’s sharp look. “We’re kind of tense, and I did drop in unexpected. I thought something like this might happen.”

Kanda looked offended and hurt by that, though Allen couldn’t guess why. He huffed and crossed his arms, tossing his obscenely long hair over his shoulder. Allen smiled at that, pointing at the pony tail.

“But anyways, lots of things have changed, haven’t they? I didn’t expect you to embrace your femininity, Kanda.” Allen held back a laugh at Kanda’s expense.

“Shut up, beansprout. At least I look my age.” Kanda sneered at Allen, who pouted. He knew he _looked_ younger than he was, even with the hair and the scar, but did Kanda have to point it out?

“At least no one’s tried to make me their girlfriend,” Allen pointed out. When Kanda’s scowl deepened, Allen guffawed. “No, don’t tell me someone _seriously_ asked you out like that. Oh God, they _did_.”

“Shut _up_ beansprout, before I make you!” Kanda was half-crouching in his seat by the time the teacher coughed, glaring at the trio. Allen realized belatedly the whole class was staring at them...again. He sighed and smiled soothingly at the teacher. She looked mollified and turned back to her notebook. Kanda gagged, disgusted, and even Link looked dismayed.

“Don’t do that, Walker,” Link insisted, disturbed.

“Link, how else do you think I get the landlord off our backs?” Allen asked, exasperated. Sure, Link was all law-abiding and everything, but he shouldn’t bother Allen when everything the Black Order was doing in the first place broke more laws than Allen had. Probably. Still, it was hypocritical, and Allen had lost all patience with hypocrisy after his time with Cross.

Link looked even more disturbed at this, as if he’d never considered how two teenagers managed to rent an apartment when neither of them technically existed. “This is going in my notebook,” Link warned, and Allen laughed again.

Kanda opened his mouth - most likely to ask what the hell they were talking about - but the teacher coughed again, so Allen bent his head back over his work with a smile.

Things were mostly patched with Kanda, who would mind his own business until Allen slapped it in his face again. All that was left was placating Alma, who could be more or less difficult than Kanda, depending on how you looked at.

Link tapped his pencil three times, and Allen frowned, darting a glance at Link’s work.

In a corner, written in French, was _Lavi is the bookman’s junior._ He assumed that was supposed to mean something. He vaguely recalled Cross mentioning such a… person? Thing? Whatever. He’d scam it out of Link later. Allen didn’t know whether Link had figured it out or had been told, but he supposed it didn’t really matter. So, he had two watchdogs now. He would laugh once the Noah Clan sent their own.

One was enough to aggravate, two to worry him, and three would finally amuse him. However, he only had two, so he let it distract him from the rest of his work. Link began to fidget and, glancing at Kanda - like it was remotely possible the stubborn boy had learned French - hastily erased the written note. Allen helpfully pointed out the remaining indent, though in the grand scheme of things none of it actually mattered.

* * *

 

Unfortunately, their next class was English, which had the entire group together. _God must be laughing at me_ , Allen thought sacrilegiously, scowling up at the pox-marked ceiling.

Of course, everyone also ended up clumped around Allen, Link, and Alma. Kanda, by default, was by Alma, and Alma was by Allen, and Link could not, even on threat of death, be found further than five feet from Allen. Lavi, as per his job, was also by Allen, and innocent Lenalee was simply happy to be seated by Alma and Lavi. Allen felt almost suffocated, but warm, anyways. No matter that half the group were belligerent towards Allen, they were still there. He thought that sentiment said a lot about his mental state.

Their teacher, a Ms. Epstain, frowned at their group before beginning class. Lavi happily informed Allen that she was also an assistant principal, and then tacked on thoughtfully that their school was short-staffed. Allen was beginning to think these were not all coincidences.

A few minutes into class, Allen’s phone vibrated. Once their blonde teacher had turned her back to write on the board, Allen tugged his phone from his pocket, dimming the bright screen before tapping the notification.

It was a text from an unknown number.

_Unkown: I heard you made up with Yuu ^^ That’s great! We’ll head over after school to talk more!!_

Allen frowned and looked back up. Alma smiled softly and waved his fingers, wiggling his phone in his lap. Flabbergasted, Allen fiercely texted back:

_Allen: How did you get my number?_

_Alma: Lenalee got it for me!_

_Allen: How did SHE get my number?_

_Alma: You didn’t give it to her? Uhhh_

“Walker,” he heard Epstain snap, and Allen could not tell if his or Link’s dismayed sigh was longer. He looked up and found her frowning fiercely at him. She slapped her pointer stick against her open palm. “If you’re going to use your phone in my class - and I’m supposed to tell you not to - but, _really,_ at least don’t be so damn obvious. It almost makes me angry.”

Allen swallowed and offered a nervous smile. Epstain’s frown dipped into a glare. “Don’t smile at me,” she snapped, and then, “Wipe that stupid look off your face, too. Put the phone away and pay attention, or I’ll assign you three more books on top the ones we already have listed.”

Allen smiled again. “Yes, Ms. Epstain.”

“Hmph,” she snorted, turning back to the board. Allen’s phone vibrated again, and he waited ten minutes before glancing a look. His phone vibrated once more, and he saw two new texts from two more unknown numbers.

_Unknown: Sorry, didn’t mean to get you in trouble!_

And

_Unknown: Dude, you’re fucking screwed. Epstain is going to watch you like a hawk for the rest of the year._

What the hell? Allen locked his phone and slipped it back into his pocket. English dragged on, and he only received one more message. It was from Link.

_Two-spots: I am not going to spend detention with you._

Once class ended, Allen turned on Alma with a scowl, waving his phone with the displayed messages. “What was that?” He demanded.

Alma giggled and grabbed his phone, opening the messages and storing the numbers as, respectively, Lenalee, Lavi, and then adding Kanda’s. “Sorry about that, Allen. I didn’t think you’d get caught!” He extended the phone, snagged Kanda around the shoulders, and snapped a selfie of a silly face, tongue out and winking, with Kanda scowling fiercely. “What the fuck!” Kanda gasped, rearing back yet at the same time stretching for the phone. Alma held it out further, fiddling with the contact details.

Allen glanced at Lenalee, who seemed amused at the boys’ antics. “And how did you get my number?” He asked, brow cocked almost angrily. Link also seemed disturbed, which made Allen feel he better. So it really wasn’t normal for people to figure out your number. Cross really had messed up his sense of normality.

Lenalee shrugged, unrepentant. “My brother is the principal,” she said, standing and tugging her backpack on. Most of the group followed suit, but when Allen turned to grab his phone from Alma, he found it in Lavi’s hands instead and Kanda looking incensed and - was that - no - almost _embarrassed_? Allen was going to treasure that photo.

“Dude,” Lavi frowned, scrolling through his messages. Allen scowled and held his hand open, palm up. Lavi placed the device in his hand, brows raised. “You have no messages aside from the ones we just sent you.”

“I just deleted them to open up space,” Allen said, pocketing his phone and turning on his heel to follow Alma out, Link behind him.

Before he could walk out, however, Epstain called him over. Allen obediently trotted to her desk, watching her scribble something on a sticky note. As she handed it to him, she said, “Here. Read this. Maybe it’ll teach you something.”

Smiling brighter, Allen took the note and met up with Link at the door. Link snagged the note and read aloud, “ _The Catcher in the Rye_ by _J. D. Salinger_?”

“She’s got an awful sense of humor,” Allen remarked dryly, taking the note back and stuffing it into a pocket. At Link’s confused look, Allen elaborated. “I’ve already read it.”

* * *

 

To Allen’s dismay, Alma caught them before they could escape. Looping his arm into Allen’s, Alma smiled brightly and said, “We’re going to your house, remember?” Around them, students grumbled at where they stood in the middle of the walkway, heading towards cars and buses. Classes had just ended, and Allen had the idiocy to hope he might escape Alma Karma’s grasp and get home. Of course, if Alma was anything like he used to be in elementary, than Allen really had no reason to expect otherwise.

Before Allen could respond, Lavi, Lenalee, and Kanda found them, forming a group too big for the rest of the student body to ignore.

“Hey, why don’t you maybe _get out the way?”_ One kid called out, annoyed.

“Hey, why don’t you maybe _shut the fuck up_?” Kanda snapped back. The kid swallowed nervously and blended back into the crowed, and Alma shook his head, amused. He turned back to Allen, tugging on his arm.

“So?” Alma prompted.

“Are we going to the beansprout’s place?” Lavi asked, arms folded behind his hand and backpack hanging loosely off his shoulders. Link looked uncomfortable at the idea.

“You’re still at the same place, aren’t you?” Alma asked curiously, and Allen blinked. “I used to check in the summer, and the landlord said it was still under Mana’s name.”

It was something Allen already knew, but he couldn’t help stiffening under Alma’s touch when she said his name. Alma frowned, pulling away to look at Allen. Link narrowed his gaze at Allen, too, and Allen knew he was mentally recording the moment to write down later.

“How _is_ Mana?” Alma asked, seemingly innocently. At Kanda’s scoff, Allen knew it was fake. Allen opened his mouth to say _he’s dead_ , _he’s gone, he’s traveling, he’s somewhere else, I don’t know, I-_

Link cut him off. “Walker, we need to go. It was a pleasure to meet you all,” he nodded his head to the group, and grabbed Allen’s arm, tugging him away and to the car Link owned. Allen laughed, and even to him it sounded slightly off. He turned back to wave at the group cheerfully.

“See you tomorrow!” He said, and then allowed Link to drag him the rest of the way to the car. He didn’t miss the way Alma and Kanda frowned, or the way Lenalee turned curiously towards the administrative building. But his throat had closed up at the mere _mention_ of Mana’s name, and even Allen had not thought he was still this sensitive.

* * *

 

In his room, Alma spun slowly around in his desk chair. Kanda laid on his bed, just staring at his ceiling. Long ago, when Alma had been twelve or something, he and Kanda had stuck over a dozen glow in the dark stickers. Some of the stars were peeling off now, and some of them didn’t even glow anymore, but the crescent moon did, and Alma still fell asleep watching it. It made Alma’s lips quirk in an odd smile when he noticed the way Kanda’s hair trailed off the edge of the bed. He leaned into the back of the chair he straddled, resting his chin on his folded arms.

“Something is wrong,” Alma announced.

Kanda blinked, then said, “No shit,” and Alma went back to brooding.

It was Allen...in the same way that it wasn’t. This Allen was too polite, and kind - not that Allen had never been kind, but this one was _too_ kind - and had come with a blond stalker. The Allen they knew had hated anyone invading his privacy, and no one short of Mana was allowed to do it. There was also that. Allen adored Mana, loved him to pieces.

“Is Mana gone?” Alma wondered aloud, mostly to himself but pleased when Kanda grunted.

If Mana was gone, who was with Allen now? The blond bulldog, Link? Not that Alma really had anything against Link, but was it wrong of him to dislike him, just a little? Here Allen came, missing for years and tearing a hole into Alma’s heart, and had seemingly found a friend to easily replace Kanda and Alma.

Allen had never been replaced in Alma’s heart. Real friends were always hard to come by, and Lenalee and Lavi, with all their secrets, made trusting them hard. Allen had secrets, sure, but he’d trusted Alma and Kanda with a lot. As far as they knew, the two had been the only ones to ever see the inside of Allen’s home.

“Is it wrong of me to be jealous of Link?” Alma asked again, and Kanda shifted up to his elbows. Alma shivered at the dark look in Kanda’s eyes, and stopped spinning.

“Why would you be jealous?” Kanda asked after a moment, eyes steady on Alma.

Alma shrugged, embarrassed. “I don’t know. Because he’s closer to Allen then we are.” Then, a moment later, with his head tucked into his arms, “I missed him.”

Kanda considered Alma for a moment, before he lay back down, ignoring Alma’s pillow in favor of folding his hands under his head. They descended into quiet, and Alma thought back to the bright-eyed red-headed boy that had been his best friend. He wondered if Kanda was remembering that same bright grin. This new Allen was different...and dangerous. Allen back then had been dangerous, too, but in a mischievous kind of way (though now that he thought about it, what seven year old kid knew how to pick a lock?).

“What happened?” Alma’s voice sounded small and sad, even to him, and so Kanda stayed quiet.

* * *

 

By Thursday, Allen’s novelty had worn off, and Alma had questions. Many, many questions.

Allen laughed nervously, hands perched between his legs on his stool and eyeing Alma’s chest with an almost cross-eyed look. “Alma,” he said after a few moments of Alma shifting around him. “I know my hair is interesting, but do you have to stare at it so closely?” It was beginning to attract the attention of their classmates, and their science class _was_ about to start.

Alma hummed, almost amused by the tendrils of hair disturbed by his breath. Allen smelled of citrus and something warm, a very unique and disconcerting combination. He shifted another lock of hair around, and Allen stifled a strange giggle. “Yes, I absolutely have to,” Alma remarked, trailing his fingernail down from the un-scarred temple and creating a new part. He gathered the chunk and pulled it back, snapped one of his wrist bands around it, and leaned back, humming in satisfaction.

Allen’s gloved hand came up to tenderly inspect the new addition, and he smiled up at Alma. “Thanks?” He asked, and Alma laughed.

“Your hair is a little too long for a science class, Walker,” Alma teased, throwing a glance at Link who stiffened. Allen’s hair was almost entirely white with hints of gray, a beautiful combination. There was no hint of redness in the scalp or even at the roots.

Link shot Alma a look that told the curious boy he was being suspicious, but Alma couldn’t bring himself to care. Allen had way too many secrets. Mysteries that Alma was determined to unearth. It didn’t escape any of their notice that Link followed Allen almost fanatically, refusing to let the boy out of his sight. When Allen had gone to the restroom and Link had tailed after, Lenalee’s quick perusal through Link’s bag had revealed an identical schedule to Allen’s. And a disturbing amount of orderliness, but Alma suspected that had more to do with Link’s personality than any involvement with Allen.

And, even more than the deal with Link - because Alma did not, for even one second, believe Allen had somehow conned Link into making his lunches because that was borderline slave labor - there was that strange look in Allen’s eyes. Alma even almost understood why looking at Allen made Kanda so angry.

It was a look that said, creased at the corners with softly forming laugh lines and a smile too warm and too big, _“I’ve seen the end and I’m just waiting for it to reach me.”_ It disturbed Alma more than he liked that he even recognized the look in the first place.

Who had he seen it on before?

Alma crossed around the table to settle in his seat, smiling widely at his neighbor who shuddered and leaned away. With a huff, Alma rested his chin in his palm, blowing at his bangs that were beginning to get too long.

Allen had changed far more than simply being gone for six years warranted. Something had happened, something big. Because this gently smiling, polite, almost _happy_ Allen wasn’t the Allen that Alma remembered.

And somehow, that was even worse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, because I feel pretty bad just having one chapter out, I'm uploading this sooner than normal! I'll note this now, but there isn't an endgame ship decided on yet, only because I love them all together more than I love two or three of them smooching haha


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Alcohol and drugs are featured, though in passing. There isn’t a scene with them strictly involved.

 

Allen swung his feet in his chair, forward backwards, forward backwards. It would be nice, he thought, to have your own swingset in your backyard, like at Alma’s. Forward backwards, forward backwards.

“Keep swinging and you’ll fall right off,” Mana teased from the kitchen, raising his voice to be heard over the sizzling of the pan. He was making sunny-side up eggs because Allen’s smile was like the sun, Mana had said. Allen had squirmed and told him to ‘shut up’, and Mana had laughed. Sometimes, Allen didn’t know how his heart didn’t just simply stop with all the warmth squeezing into it.

“I won’t,” Allen pouted, but he stopped swinging to perch his toes on the bar of his chair, knees almost bumping into the table. He’d wanted to help, but Mana had insisted he sit.

The sun was warm on Allen’s arm, and he marveled at the difference the light made on his skin. He hopped off his chair to open the window, breathing in deeply

“The eggs are done!” Mana called, and Allen hurried back to the table. Mana served him, served himself some, and then poured himself a cup of tea. Allen sipped at his orange juice and glanced at the tea curiously. Mana always drank tea - he cited that coffee tasted terrible on his tongue - but always gave Allen orange juice.

Mana smiled at him from across the small round table, taking a sip. The longer the meal wore on, the more Mana’s face changed. Still, he was smiling, and so long as it was at Allen, it didn’t really matter.

* * *

 

Allen awoke with a gasp. He sat up quietly in bed, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. A minute later, Link’s alarm rang, and Allen reached for the end table between their beds to shut it off. Link shifted in bed before sitting up as well, and Allen mused that while he woke with an entire crow’s nest on his head, Link looked as elegant as a king, or an angel, or something not very human to reach that level of elegance.

Link stared at him, and his eyes grew wide before they settled into something Allen would call gentle if he didn’t know better. “... you’re crying,” Link said, at last. Oh. The look _had_ been gentle.

Allen touched his cheek, blinking and finally feeling the tears Link must have seen fall over. He laughed, a wet sad sound. “I dreamed of Mana,” Allen said. It must’ve been because Alma had mentioned it. He’d only had one dream of Mana since they had moved in.

“Was it a good dream?” Link asked, well aware that a bad dream could have Walker falling apart for the rest of the day.

Allen looked thoughtfully down at his hands, wondered if it was odd that he enjoyed the odd sensation of chilled air on his wet cheeks, and then smiled up at Link. “He didn’t remember me, but he made me eggs and smiled at me.”

He was aware this was a particularly pathetic thing to say, but Link had seen at Allen at worse, so Link managed a small smile back.

“Then that was a good dream.” Link said sternly, and Allen laughed again, softer, but genuine and firmer. He swung his legs over the bed and stood with a back popping stretch, the hardwood floor cool on his feet.

“Alright, Link. Are you excited for school? It’s Friday!” Allen said brightly, and Link scowled back, his answer obvious. Allen left for the bathroom chuckling, while Link started breakfast.

In the mirror over the sink, Allen stared at his reflection. His eyes were just slightly red from his small bout of tears, but nothing that wouldn’t be gone within the hour. He smiled mirthlessly. Red always did show up on him rather well, given how pale he was. He focused over his shoulder at the shadow lingering there, grin wide and morbid. No one else saw it, and Allen only ever caught it in his reflection. He didn’t know if it was paranoia, hallucinations (or did this count as a delusion?) or if it actually existed. Cross had simply looked sad when Allen had mentioned it, and from that Allen couldn’t tell much at all.

He brushed his teeth, rinsed with mouthwash, and showered quickly, dressing in their shared room. It had been odd to change his childhood bedroom into a room for two teens, but even Link did not dare to suggest they use Mana’s room. His room, at the end of the hall, remained shut, though Allen did clean it out once a week. Link never commented on this.

His phone on the end table was blinking, and Allen unlocked it to find three messages waiting for him.

_Alma: Goooood morning!! Are you up yet? Kanda came and dragged me out of bed lol_

_Alma: Are you mad Lenalee gave me your number? You never told me_

_Alma: You’re coming to school, right?_

They had come in ten minutes apart each, and Allen could imagine Alma hunched over his phone, the pale light tinting his face blue. Almost every morning Alma had sent something similar, with either an attached cheerful selfie (there was even one of Kanda eating cereal that Allen had gleefully saved), and, when Allen didn’t reply soon enough, the hesitant, _‘you’re coming to school, right?’_ It almost made Allen sick with guilt.

He replied to each message, dropping his phone onto his bed when Link called out that breakfast was ready.

* * *

 

Kanda had tolerated Alma’s mindless humming, but when Lavi joined he aimed his pencil to maim.

“Okay, okay! Damn,” Lavi huffed, reaching over to grab the pencil from the floor. He rubbed at the sensitive skin of his neck, shivering at the ghostly sensation the pencil of death had left behind. He tossed it back at Kanda who caught it one-handed. “You could’ve just said you wanted my singing voice all to yourself, Yuu.”

Kanda looked sick. “What the fuck? That’s like asking to voluntarily go deaf.”

Lenalee snorted, covering her mouth when Kanda raised his brow, and Alma laughed. Lavi turned back to his own desk, sulking. They were having homeroom again, because supposedly kids were too stupid to remember details that had been told to them the first day, and the second. He was suspecting that they simply wanted more control over the kids and had blocked in homeroom for the week. Lavi complained that Nyne was getting increasingly angry at her cut back class time, and that she was taking it out more often on him than Toma, and that Allen was laughing the entire time. Alma had already staked out two desks for the sake of Link and Allen, glaring death at anybody who even thought to sit there.

He especially glared at the kids who had sat there the days before. Daisya laughed, teased that he didn’t want to sit next to Yuu anyways, and left, dragging a scrawny kid whose name Alma couldn’t remember.

“Oh?” Alma’s head darted up at Allen’s voice, and Kanda scowled. “Are those for us? Thank you, Alma!”

“No problem,” Alma preened, pleased. He drummed his hands on Allen’s desk beside his. Kanda, who sat in front of Alma, started a glaring contest with Link, whose chair his feet rested on.

“You two always come in together?” Lavi asked, tipping his chair back on its hind legs and giving Link a pointed look.

 _There go more rumors_ , Allen thought, eyeing the too interested girl sitting nearby. “He gives me a ride, since he has a car.”

“He makes your lunch, he gives you rides… Link is awfully nice,” Lenalee commented, a shining look in her eyes that Allen didn’t like. Link, too, looked uncomfortable with the insinuation. Or maybe it was the guilt that seemed to be eating at him lately. Allen felt a kind of sadistic pleasure. He never had claimed he was a saint, had he?

“Yes,” Allen said, turning to look at Link with wide eyes. Link shuffled back, alarmed. “He’s really nice.”

Lenalee broke into laughter and Lavi snorted into his palm. “Oh, I was right beansprout. You’re totally what our group needed.” He leaned forward, bending over his desk and poking Allen in the side. “Just the kind of dynamic to compliment us!” Alma giggled, excited. He was always feeling so happy recently. Maybe the novelty had worn off Allen’s arrival, but the euphoria sure hadn’t.

“We’re not a comedy show, Lavi,” Lenalee retorted. But, at the rate they were going, it wouldn’t take much to turn into one.

“No, we’re a harem,” Lavi said seriously, and Lenalee blinked. Alma gazed at all his friends in turn, from Kanda, to Link, to Allen, Lavi, and around to Lenalee. They were all pretty cute (not that Alma had a very high threshold on what made his friends cute), and even Allen, with his strange hair and tattoo, was charming in his own way.

“Aren’t you lucky, Lenalee,” Alma jeered, finally leaning away from Allen’s desk to press into his seat, wagging his eyebrows at Lenalee.

“None of you will be if you don’t stop talking,” Fermi stoutly said, and quickly the group sobered and settled properly into their seats. He stood at podium, tapping a rolled paper against his other palm and eyeing their group with a thick, raised, eyebrow. “Are you finally done?”

Alma turned to Allen, biting back a grin when Link did the same. Allen was already facing Fermi, face appropriately remorseful. “We’re sorry Mr. Fermi, it won’t happen again.”

“Right,” Fermi said dryly, looking somehow appeased and disgusted at the same time. “Right, uh,” he fully faced the class, unrolling the sheet of paper. “I have… some kind of announcement? I really don’t know why they were keeping you in here for a week, but it’s Friday already, so I suppose it doesn’t really matter. Around mid-late September a week will be set aside for seniors to evaluate their future choices with their parents and guardians. Seeing as you sophomores probably haven’t even began to think these kinds of things though - which isn’t really something you should worry about until next year - it means pretty much nothing.”

Alma blinked. The future, huh? What _did_ Alma want to do? The familiar curl of nerves coiled in his stomach, but disappeared easily. He had time to worry, had time to figure out what he wanted. Like Fermi had said, it wasn’t something that concerned them.

Fermi dismissed the class to resume their chatter, and there was a shuffling of desks, papers, and bags as either homework was pulled out or people shifted together to talk. Alma turned sideways in his desk again, leaning forward to drum his knuckles on Allen’s desk. Kanda shifted sideways, too, but stuck an earbud in. When Alma managed to wrestle one of the earphones away, it was always some kind of instrumental music that bored him.

Lavi, Lenalee, and even Link shifted slightly to focus inwards, and Allen flushed. Alma blinked at the color tinting his cheeks. It was… cute, on Allen. It made him less paper-like and more human, and red _was_ a lovely color on him. It made his light gray eyes stand out more, and among his pale hair, lashes, and skin, Alma somehow forgot how striking his eyes were.

Lavi poked at his cheek in awe, and Allen slapped his hand away, embarrassed. Alma wasn’t sure at what, but it was adorable regardless. The Allen from back then had gotten embarrassed pretty easily, too, always turning red as his hair and stuttering in dismay. That had been cute, too.

“Allen, give me your phone,” Alma said, drumming to a stop then holding his hand out. Confused, Allen dug out his phone, dropping his lanyard of keys in the process. He dropped to swipe the keyring up and Alma slid through the lock screen. He turned to Lenalee, opening the camera. “Cheese, Lenalee!”

She threw two fingers up and grinned, and Alma coo-ed over the cute photo. He turned to Lavi next, who threw a kiss. Alma laughed and saved the contact photos. Allen was explaining to a frustrated Link and interested Lavi why he had several clown charms attached. Alma snapped a photo of Link, who flushed when he noticed, and Alma took another picture. She saved it as his contact photo.

“You sound like a goddamn reindeer,” Kanda sneered as Allen pocketed the gaggle of rings. Alma pondered if he could get a photo of Yuu from so close, but decided against it. Kanda had very fast reflexes, especially when he was angry, and he might just break Allen’s phone in the moment.

Instead he cropped most of the photo he had taken before. He scrolled through Allen’s gallery, and frowned thoughtfully. The only photos there were the ones Alma had taken or sent, and some of flowers. “Allen,” Alma started, cutting off whatever argument Kanda and he had been having. Kanda grunted, affronted at the interruption in their daily routine. Allen hummed in response. “You like flowers?”

He flicked through the folder of photos. There were all kinds, from common roadside weeds to ones displayed in flower shops, in a variety of colors, though red and yellow seemed predominant. Allen laughed lightly. “Yes, I like taking pictures of them.”

“There’s a lot,” Alma replied, scrolling and scrolling. It was nothing but flowers. Before Allen could reply, the bell chimed, and Alma smiled as he handed the phone back, humming the strange tune under his breath. As Allen, Link, and Lavi left, Alma and Kanda walked with Lenalee, until she eventually turned down another hallway with a wave.

Alma looked down at his scuffed shoes, and in the corner of his eye he could see Kanda’s messily rolled earphones. He tugged them from Kanda’s pocket to wrap them around properly, and as he placed the neat fold into Kanda’s hand, said, “I’m going to Allen’s house today. Do you want to come with me?”

Kanda carefully replaced the buds in a side pocket in his bag and raised his brow at Alma. “He actually invited you?” The incredulity in Kanda’s voice hurt, really.

Alma scoffed. “As if. But that doesn’t mean I’m not going. He can’t think he can come back after six years and tell us absolutely nothing.” Kanda hummed thoughtfully as he led Alma first to his locker, then trailed a few doors down to his. When Alma jogged to Kanda’s side again, books tucked in the crook of his arm, Kanda turned and nodded, and Alma grinned.

* * *

 

Allen had known his good luck would run out. Before him, Sokalo grinned and Link sighed once more.

“Next week, Walker. Next week, you hear?” Sokalo demanded, voice deep and heavy and rolling, echoing in the high ceilings of the gym. Around him, students chattered dressed in shorts and short sleeved tees, and Allen glanced down at his hands in dismay.

“Yes, Coach,” Allen sighed, and Sokalo laughed, slapping a forceful hand on Allen’s back twice, knocking the much slighter teen forward easily. Link grabbed Allen’s forearm in worry, and Allen flushed.

“Good, good. If not, I’ll keep you after running so many laps, you’ll become the school’s track star.” Allen didn’t want anything to do with sports, _especially_ the ones where he had to wear short shorts. He paled, horrified at the skinny white legs his mind’s eye showed and shook his head in denial. Nope. Absolutely not.

As Sokalo laughed and turned to bark orders to the waiting students, Allen stepped onto the row of bleachers with Link following. As he sat and dug out his homework waiting to be done, he turned to Link and said, “If I don’t get out of this, you’ll be running those laps with me.” Allen had purposely been neglecting buying a gym uniform with the excuse that he was new to the school, but Sokalo’s deadline was next Monday.

Allen didn’t know what Link saw in _his_ mind, but he turned a shade of pale that satisfied Allen.

* * *

 

Alma latched onto Kanda’s wrist as the teen turned to leave for the fifth time again, stumbling up from his seat. “Come on Kanda! Just wait a little longer!” Alma really didn’t want to sit at this bench by himself, even if it was under a lit lamp post.

Kanda snatched his wrist back, turning on Alma with a glare. “Fuck no! It’s already-” he shoved his watch in Alma’s face, and Alma went cross-eyed in the attempt “-eleven pm! I’m done waiting for this piece of shit!”

Alma huffed and placed his hands on his hips, cocking an eyebrow at Kanda’s retreating back. “And how exactly are you going to get home? Mr. I-don’t-have-a-driver’s-license.” Kanda stilled, shuddered minutely, then turned back with a scowl. Alma was older and had gotten his first, which forever aggravated Kanda.

“Take me back,” Kanda said. The buses weren’t running anymore, which had precisely been Alma’s plan.

“No,” Alma smiled.

“Yes,” Kanda said.

“How about… no, and I’ll treat you to late night breakfast!” He pointed at the diner across the road. It was cheery and bright, and very conveniently right across Allen’s apartment complex.

Kanda’s will wilted, and Alma internally cheered. Kanda was always weak for food - Alma thought it had something to do with how he seemed to be doing nothing but growing and filling out recently - and especially free meals. And _especially_ if it was out of Alma’s wallet. Alma didn’t what kind of perverse pleasure Kanda got out of forcing Alma to spend his money, but if it kept him here until Allen returned then he wasn’t going to question it. Allen swung his bag onto his back, double-checked his car doors were locked, and snagged Kanda’s wrist again to lead the way to the diner. Kanda grumbled but allowed Alma to lead him, fiddling with something on his phone. It warmed Alma’s heart sometimes, how much Kanda trusted him.

Inside the diner, they were seated with only the briefest of weird glances, though Alma got an especially odd look when he specifically requested the window seat. The plastic of the booth was cold on Alma’s skin, and he debated the merits of wearing a tank in moments like this. Kanda seemed fine in his own arm-bearing shirt, but Alma doubted he was the kind of human who ever had goose flesh rise on his skin.

He turned back to the apartment, watching the entrance carefully. Link’s car still wasn’t there, and when they had knocked earlier no one had answered. Alma hadn’t really thought someone was home anyways, given how Link refused to leave Allen alone. He shifted uneasily. It _was_ a Friday night. Was Allen the type to go out? Alma himself had gone to a few parties, but Kanda didn’t care much for the scene and so he rarely went. It made Alma uneasy to think of Allen surrounded by drunks, sloshed and rubbing against him in the dark.

“Stop thinking stupid things,” Kanda said, and Alma startled towards him, eyes wide. Kanda didn’t look up, idly perusing the menu. Alma knew it was a lie, since Kanda really only ever ordered the same thing. “He’ll be back soon.”

Alma held his breath, debating the thought, before silently agreeing. Perhaps Allen _had_ changed, with his polite manners and tattooed face and dyed hair, but the core parts of Allen, the ones where he was truly nice and truly cared and was always witty, those parts were the same, and were the ones Alma would cling onto, until this strange Allen became familiar again.

“Yea,” Alma said cheerfully, and then waved their waiter over. He would tell Yuu later that he didn’t have his wallet.

* * *

 

Link groaned under the weight, shifting until Allen more or less rested entirely against him, struggling up the apartment stairs. Did the boy _have_ to get punch-drunk? He narrowed his eyes, thinking back over the evening. No, Allen hadn’t drunk enough for him to be plastered like this. Somebody had drugged him.

It wasn’t until he sat Allen down at the doorstep and dug his keys out that he realized his tense muscles weren’t from carrying the teen but rather from his anger, and he took a deep breath to settle his trembling fingers.

“Ssorry, Lihnk,” Allen slurred, head lolling back to rest on the doorframe. He blinked, squeezed his eyes, rubbed at them, then tried to look at Link again. “Why izit so dark?”

“We are outside at night,” Link answered, proud when his voice came out steady. He finally managed to fit the key into the lock and twisted it open, propping the door open. Cool air rushed in, wafting against his warm face and contrasting sharply with the humidity. He bent down to pick Allen up again, grimacing when the boy’s hot breath puffed against his neck. It felt terribly intimate.

“Come on, Walker. Time to go inside,” Link said, stumbling and adjusting hastily to Allen’s added weight. Allen groaned, and Link began the struggle of crossing the threshold and closing the door. He almost dropped Allen when a hand shot out, forcing the door open.

He whirled around, Allen moaning. “Ughh, don’t do that,” Allen insisted, pushing at Link’s chest weakly. Link ignored him, reaching over to flick the light switch. It blinked on, bathing Kanda and Alma in warm light.

“What the fuck?” Kanda said, eyes growing wider and resting on Allen fully. Fury crossed his face and he stomped towards Link, grabbing Allen. “What the hell are you doing to him?!”

Link held fast to Allen, who was beginning to groan in an alarming way, turning an interesting shade of green. “Stop it!” Link hissed. “You’re going to make him throw up!” Kanda froze, focusing on Allen’s face. His grip fell lax, and Link pulled Allen away, then steadily made his way to the couch and rested Allen against it. Allen easily slid from his hold to rest on his side, bending in half at his waist as his legs sprawled across the floor. It was unseemly in a way that Allen would never present himself, and Link was angry. Angry at Kanda, at Alma, at the bastard who had drugged Allen.

He glared at Kanda. “Close the door,” he barked, scowling already at the wayward bugs finding their way in. He crossed over to the open kitchen, flicking another light on and grabbing a plastic cup. He filled it with water, squeezed some lemon into it, and then brought it over to Allen. He ignored Alma and Kanda as they made themselves comfortable in an arm chair, Alma in the seat and Kanda resting a hip against the armrest. Link kneeled next to Allen, wincing at the way his knee dug into the hardwood.

“Come on, Walker,” he coaxed, encouraging Allen to sit straighter. Allen complied, too drunk to fight anymore. Link had dragged Allen from the bar when he began a shouting match, his accent dripping into his words, and now that all that energy had left him he was sluggish and limp. He tilted the cup against Allen’s lips, and Allen blearily opened his eyes to look down at the drink. “There we go.”

He shifted to stare at Link, and Link’s nerves thrummed uneasily. He resisted the urge to glance at Alma and Kanda, even as Allen continued to stare blankly at him. After a moment, Allen parted his lips and Link tilted the cup further. Most of it made it in while some spilled down his chin and throat, but it was enough to satisfy Link. He tugged Allen’s shirt up to wipe at the waste, then let Allen rest back again.

The moment Link let go Allen’s eyes drifted shut, and Link sat back on his haunches, setting the cup on the coffee table. It was quiet as they all watched Allen fall asleep fitfully, and then Link forced his gaze away to glare at the boys intruding.

“Why are you here? It is too late to be coming over without warning.” Link shifted to sit on the couch between Allen and the arm chair, and Kanda scowled. Link could feel his heavy gaze as he tugged a throw from the back of the couch and arranged it over Allen, shuddering as it’s tasseled ends caressed his fingertips, leaving behind a strange tactile awareness.

Alma fidgeted, hands clasped in his lap then rising to rub at his bare arms. “We’ve been waiting for a while. We wanted to talk to Allen.” Alma’s brow furrowed, and he looked up. “He’s been _gone_ for six years! No explanation, no notice. He just disappeared, like he was dead. And then we had to wait until one in the morning for him to come back stumbling drunk!” Alma worked himself up until his face was flushed dull red in anger, eyes bright as he watched Allen’s heavy breaths, the up down, up down, of his chest.

Link swallowed, and then looked back at Allen. His face was flushed - a much better sight than earlier’s green tinge - and his breaths were deep, ruffling one of the tassels by his chin. His face was turned, almost tucked into the dark red cushion, and Link reflected that the furniture matched Allen, oddly enough.

“What happened?” Alma asked plaintively, and Link focused back on him. His eyes were bright with worry, face pinched. Kanda, similarly, looked upset, and was staring with a hard gaze at the bookshelf across from him. Link could not bare to stare at Alma, who bore such an open expression, and looked away.

“Come back tomorrow,” Link said instead, watching Allen. “I will let you in. Right now, I want to make sure Walker is okay. I don’t have time to answer your questions.”

* * *

 

Allen groaned in dismay, head falling to thump on the kitchen table. Timcanpy fluttered around him, then settled on his head, wings falling to tickle Allen’s ears. Link continued making breakfast, making no effort to be quiet. Each clang of a pot and stirring spoon echoed in Allen’s head, and Allen felt last night’s anger resurface, claiming him momentarily. If he found the bastard who’d drugged him, Allen swore the man would not see the light of day again.

“Come on, Link,” Allen begged, digging his forehead into the soft cream tablecloth. “It’s not even my fault!”

“Irrelevant,” Link announced, spooning oatmeal into a large bowl. “You should not have been so careless. You knew you were making enemies.” Link paused thoughtfully, dug into a cabinet for cinnamon, and sprinkled some over the oatmeal. He hummed, pleased with the end result. Instead of bringing it to Allen, however, he set it on the kitchen bar.

“Come onnn, Linnnk,” Allen begged, stomach gurgling. Link shushed him, carefully angling his phone to snap the shot. He stared at the picture, frowned, then dipped back into the kitchen to find something else. Allen groaned. “Really, Link?”

“Really, Walker,” Link replied sarcastically. Allen mused that maybe whining one more time would finally snap Link’s patience, but the doorbell rang, forcing minute waves of pain through Allen’s head. “Go answer the door, Walker. I’m _almost_ finished.”

Allen thought it amusing that Link kept a food diary, but he wasn’t judging. _He_ kept a flower diary. To each their own, or something like that. He swung from the high chair and crossed the living room, Timcanpy flying off ahead. When the door swung open, Allen realized he might still be drunk. If he had thought to check through the peephole, he sure as hell wouldn’t have opened the door like that. Timcanpy - the only one who seemed to have his wits about him - startled and flew behind Allen, burrowing into the small of his back.

Alma, Kanda, Lenalee, and Lavi greeted him cheerfully (well, not Kanda, but you get the point), and Allen squinted in the bright daylight, left hand coming up to cup Timcanpy. Lenalee coo-ed something generally sympathetic sounding, and Lavi was babbling about how Allen needed to help him get into the bars, and Alma was talking rapidly about some promise Link had made. What?

Kanda pushed past him into his apartment, and Allen _really_ thought he might still be drugged, because he only stood there numbly as the rest of the peanut gallery filed past, creating all kinds of noise.

They settled in and around his furniture, one going into his kitchen, one demanding to know where his bathroom was, one gasping for food, and another demanding answers. What on earth? Was this some kind of personal nightmare?

“Walker, come eat your food,” Link called, jerking him to attention. He closed the door, and the cold metal of the doorknob reminded him of his bare hands. Stuffing the scarred one into his pajama pockets and hiding a wince when Timcanpy bit him, he edged towards his room.

“Uh, let me get changed first. I wasn’t _expecting_ guests,” Allen said, throwing a good glare at Link, who ignored him in favor of setting the table. The rest of his friends either acknowledged the remark with a hum or inspected his home closer. He suppressed a shiver and left to his shared room with Link. The moment he closed the door, Timcanpy bit his hand hard enough to draw blood, and Allen yanked it back.

Timcanpy flew out, knocking himself violently into Allen’s forehead. “Ow, ow, ow!” Allen cried, fending off the attack. “I’m sorry, Tim! I panicked!” Tim seemed to huff, gave a soft _graah_ , before he flew over to Allen’s windowsill, ignoring Allen for the most part. Allen regarded him fondly for a moment, then surveyed his room for any clothes.

He was typically clean, with only the occasional shirt or pants left around, but with Link that was asking for a death sentence, and so Allen had to dig through his drawers for a set of clothes. He dressed comfortably in a pair of old dark washed jeans and tugged on a light long-sleeved gray shirt. His head began to pound as everything finally set in. He snagged a pair of gloves he’d left out on a dresser and slipped them on as he stepped back into the living room.

They’d all made themselves comfortable by then, taking up every possible seat in his tiny apartment. Lavi even had his feet up on the coffee table, and when Allen looked at Link he could see the beginnings of an angry tic in his brow. Link glanced at him as he entered the kitchen, pointed staunchly at his breakfast, and Allen obeyed simply because he couldn’t bring himself to ignore any kind of food present. At his seat, there was the oatmeal, a glass each of water and orange juice, and even a pill for his headache. Something warm curled in his stomach as Allen dug into the very pretty looking oatmeal decorated with cinnamon powder, sticks, and green apple slices.

Link managed to entertain everyone in the living room - starting with Lavi and his disrespect of the furniture - leaving Allen vaguely isolated at the table. He slurped through his meal quickly enough, too hungry to try and wait it out.

Alma was talking about science, and Lavi was complaining about Ms. Nyne again. Link was being roped into answering math questions for Lenalee, and Kanda seemed to have blocked everything and everyone out. Allen couldn’t blame him.

Still, it was almost disturbing how quickly Alma’s head whipped towards him the moment Allen swallowed his last spoon of oatmeal. Allen almost choked in fright. He chugged the rest of his water, already finished with the orange juice and having swallowed the pill at the beginning, and blinked owlishly at Alma when he continued to stare. Lavi distracted Alma then, thankfully, and Allen left to wash his dishes quickly.

With five people in his apartment meant for at most two, there really was nowhere to sit. Kanda was perched on an armrest by Alma, and Link’s glare was promising Allen death if Allen so much as thought as sitting by Link similarly, so Allen opted to drag one of the stools out from under the kitchen bar. The moment he sat on it all conversation stopped. He giggled absurdly, for lack of anything else to say in his shock.

“Oh, geez,” Lavi said, elbowing Lenalee and then Alma. “The kid’s probably hungover, don’t pressure him so much.”

“I’m not hungover,” Allen protested, disliking the image it brought to him of Cross and his habits.

“Your eyes are totally bloodshot,” Lenalee added, and Allen touched his cheek, as if he could feel the redness.

“Absolutely,” Alma chimed, and Allen vaguely felt attacked by all of them. Link stood and headed towards the hall housing the bedrooms and bathroom. “So… what happened?”

“What _what_ happened?” Allen asked back, confused. He thought back over the week, trying to figure out exactly what Alma was asking about. His move back, the past six years, his involvement with Link, his need to eat twice his weight in food. There were too many things for Alma to be asking about.

Alma huffed, frustrated, and waved at Allen as if that said everything. “You! To you! What happened to you!” Alma insisted, and Allen fought back the urge to snipe that his answer didn’t simplify _anything_.

Lavi sighed longsufferingly, and Link stepped back with a bottle of eyedrops in hand. As he handed them over to Allen, who knocked his head back to squeeze them in, Link replied helpfully “Alma and Kanda saw you last night.”

It was unfortunate that Allen happened to be swallowing at the moment, because he choked violently in shock and almost teetered the bar stool backwards. Link slapped his arm across Allen’s back to steady him, gripping the stool to settle it.

“Jesus,” Lavi coughed, holding back raucous laughter. “Allen, don’t do this to me, man.” He wheezed, bent over. Lenalee smacked his back with a little more force than necessary.

“ _What_ ,” Allen gasped, doubling forward, “do you _mean_ they saw me?”

“Exactly as I said, Walker,” Link said worriedly, but not so concerned that it hid the sarcastic drawl in his words, taking the eyedrops and placing them on the kitchen bar. He crossed into the kitchen, and Allen heard him grabbing a glass of water. “When I brought you stumbling back-”

“Not my fault!” Allen insisted, shooting a glare at Kanda’s snort.

“- _absolutely drunk_ they were waiting for us at the door.” Link continued unashamedly, bringing the cup around to Allen, who drank while glaring balefully at Link. “I told them to come back in the morning.”

Allen set the cup with the medicine on the counter. “And you couldn’t tell me they were coming before I almost died of shock?” Link rolled his eyes, and Allen sighed. “Okay. So,” he faced Alma, who was staring contemplatively at Link, but at his change of tone turned to Allen. “What do you want to know?”

Alma hummed, tapping a finger on his chin, and Kanda scoffed, annoyed. He shifted to rest more of his weight on the armrest, crossing his legs at the ankles. “Well, where did you go last night, for one.”

 _For one_ , Allen despaired. “I… I was playing cards.”

“You were gambling,” Lavi said bluntly with glee and Allen winced.

He glared at Lavi. “Yes. I was gambling.”

“You gamble?” Alma said, aghast, and Lenalee looked on with increased interest.

“ _Yes_ , I gamble. It’s a skill I perfected while traveling with my uncle.” Allen said, rolling his eyes. Lavi grumbled something that sounded like _if you keep rolling your eyes, they’re gonna stay that way_ , but Allen ignored it.

“Your uncle?” Kanda finally spoke, uncrossing his arms to lean one against the armrest, his hair dripping over his shoulder and sliding over his arm. “The no good one that’s always disappearing?”

It unnerved Allen that Kanda remembered so much of a man he met probably once. “Uhh… yeah. That one. The only one, really, but yeah.”

“What about Mana?” Alma asked, and Allen forcefully held himself lax, refusing to stiffen at the name.

“Mana went with us,” Allen said, groaning internally at Link’s telltale glance at Allen. Really, did Link _have_ to be such a poor liar? But, to be fair, Link _was_ good at hiding information on his own. Allen thought he just threw a curveball to Link one too many times for the poor blond to keep up with.

“Wait, so why are you gambling?” Lenalee asked, with the air of someone about to disapprove. Allen shrugged.

“No choice. Uncle loves to leave his debts behind, and Links dislikes having the debt collectors come by.” Allen waved vaguely towards Link, who frowned at the blame. The scarred teen hunched his shoulders. “Normally, I have a job, but I haven’t got one yet.” _And it’s so much more faster to bet the odds_ , he thought. Working was nice and all, but Allen simply didn’t have the time.

“‘Sides,” Allen continued, slowly grinning. “Link’s already endeared himself to the neighbors. Made them a pie and everything,” he teased. Link flushed at the tips of his ears and neck, expression dipping into a severe frown.

“Continue in this manner, and _you_ won’t be getting any pies,” Link threatened, and Allen put his hands up, dropping the point. Lavi was already burrowing his face into a purple cushion to muffle his laughter, Alma and Lenalee both were grinning, and even Kanda looked amused.

Alma opened his mouth, but the oven dinged. Kanda sniffed the air and made an odd face, and Alma followed suit, grinning as he said, “It smells like chocolate chip cookies!”

Link hurried to the kitchen, his voice trailing him as he spoke. “I just put them in before you all barged in.”

“ _Barged in_ ,” Lavi muttered, lifting his head and then plopping it into his hand, cradling his chin. “He makes it sound like we’re unwelcome.”

“You are,” Link drawled back dryly, the oven’s door squeaking loudly in protest as Link opened it. There was a mutual appreciative hum as the smell grew stronger, wafting into the living room. “Well then,” he said, placing the cookies one by one to cool on a wire rack. It was right by Allen on the kitchen bar, and he struggled to keep his drool from spilling over. “Is that all you wanted to know, Alma Karma?”

“I love hearing your full name,” Lavi breathed, turning to look admiringly towards Alma. “It sounds so… _Alma Karma_.”

Alma laughed lightly, pleased. “No one ever really calls me like that casually,” he said, looking back to Link. “Well, the answer to that is _no_. Honestly, I have six years worth of questions! That’s a lot!”

“Too much,” Kanda grumbled, the poor one having to endure all those unanswered questions for six years. He glanced at Allen, who returned the look. “You talk too much for someone full of bullshit.”

“Hey!” Allen cried, offended. “I haven’t lied once!” He thought back over his words. He _hadn’t_ lied once… today.

Kanda snorted, then threw back, “ _I’m not hungover_ ,” in a tone clearly meant to be Allen’s but knocked several pitches higher. It bothered Allen more than he cared to admit that Kanda inflicted a slight British accent.

“I’m not,” Allen insisted. “I was drugged,” and oh, no, that wasn’t the right thing to say, if Alma’s, Lenalee’s, and Lavi’s horrified faces were anything to go by. People _weren’t_ casually drugged, Allen had to remind himself.

“You were drugged?” Alma asked, aghast and beginning to look angry.

“Someone drugged you?” Lenalee demanded, scooting forward and looking for all the world like she wanted to slap Allen and hug him at the same time.

“That’s so messed up,” Lavi added, frowning. “How did it happen? Isn’t bulldog here watching over you?” Allen stiffened at the comment, glancing at Lavi. He could be joking - since Link really was attached at the hip to Allen - but the comment hit a little too close to home for Bookman Junior to just casually say.

Link, stiff and drawn all over with angry lines, looked torn between talking and just impaling Lavi with the kitchen knife, so Allen spoke. “Link doesn’t like the bar scene,” he laughed lightly, then, “I think it was someone who’d lost to me, so either way they were going to try to get me. I’m lucky Link _was_ there. Without him, who knows what would’ve happened.”

He still wasn’t happy with what had happened. In fact, he was downright livid. He hadn’t been that careless in ages, but the stress of school, Alma’s determined investigation on him, the Bookman’s spying, and even Link’s constant watch had gotten to him. It didn’t help that living in this apartment hurt more than even Link realized. It was hard, getting used to Mana’s absence in a place he’d always been in. So, he’d been lax. Drank a bit more than he should’ve to appease the players - because even he wouldn’t play a card game with someone completely sober at a bar - and cared a little less for his well-being than usual. He _was_ angry, at himself most of all, but the way Link’s shoulders fell in shock, eyes wide and hesitant and full of anxiety - as if waiting for Allen to hurt him, he was so vulnerable. It warmed Allen, that Link would open himself up that way.

But both Kanda and Alma were watching Allen instead of Link, eyes dark with implication. They knew something was up, that something was wrong. They knew only because they had known Allen before he’d left, when he’d been ten and as honest as he could be. Link didn’t know him from back then, didn’t realize he wasn’t the same.

The matter was dropped - because of Link or Allen’s obvious discomfort, who knew, but Allen was relieved either way. They spent the next hour indulging in Link’s dessert and chattering about school.

When they all left as one after Link started dropping too obvious hints that they’d overstayed their welcome, Alma turned to Allen thoughtfully. The rest trooped through the door with Alma going out last. He stopped, right before the door, and reached for Allen’s left hand. Alma rubbed his thumb over the back of his hand, and Allen swallowed, feeling the muted pressure over his glove.

“You know, Allen,” Alma said, tightening his grip on Allen’s hand. The noise from their friends faded as they headed down the hall. “I’m really worried about you. I know you’re a really secretive person, but… but I don’t want to see yourself being destructive and hurtful. I want to know about you,” Alma continued, frowning and still studying the back of Allen’s hand. “But I won’t push you. Just… just know that I care, ok?”

He lifted his eyes, beautiful and dark, to Allen’s and smiled gently. He squeezed Allen’s hand gently, then tugged him forward into a warm hug, wrapping his arms around Allen’s back, hugging him so tightly Allen lost his breath. “Be safe, ok?”

Allen relished the warmth Alma radiated, tucking his head into Alma’s neck and breathing in deeply. “Okay,” he said softly. Alma let go reluctantly as Allen pulled back, and Allen smiled. “I will be, Alma. Don’t worry so much,” he teased, “you’ll get as many wrinkles as Kanda has.”

Alma laughed. “Kanda will never look bad,” he said, stepping back, and then out. Down the flight of stairs, they could hear Lenalee calling for Alma and Kanda. “Bye Allen, I’ll see you later.” Leaning against the wall by the door was Kanda, eyes carefully studying the beaded bracelet around his wrist.

“Bye, Alma! Drive safely,” Allen added, grinning when Alma laughed again, then waving at Kanda. The older teen nodded at Allen and followed Alma down the hall. As he closed the door and locked it, he could hear Link approaching him from the kitchen. He turned before Link could say anything. “I’m going to take a nap. Talking to all of them made me tired,” he yawned. Link nodded shortly, drying his hands on a towel.

Allen could feel Link’s worried gaze on him all the way to the bedroom.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Link shoved everyone out because Allen was beginning to look tired. I should say this now, but I don’t approve of underage drinking, and while Link and Allen play off the whole “drugged” thing, it’s actually a very terrible thing to happen to Allen. Cross doesn’t know the exact details of how Allen pays his debts, but I’d like to think if he did, he would be suitably pissed.
> 
> When I wrote this part during the plot-making, I didn’t think too much of it. Allen isn’t a drinker - as following in canon - but he’s still a 16 year old boy in situations he shouldn’t be.
> 
> Also, this...was...the chapter...that would not end. Holy crap I think this is the longest chapter I’ve ever written! 7.3k+ words!! I struggled with balancing out all the characters, and with a cast of 6 that’s just not gonna work. I read through a section and realized I forgot to emphasize Lavi, or go through another and realize I totally forgot Link, or like the entire part in Allen’s apartment with the others when - I’d just finished writing it all - it hit me that I had completely left Timcanpy out. Goodness.
> 
> Several people reviewed that the “no endgame ship decided” thing was good news. It made me laugh, since I thought most people would be pushing for Yullen or something. I’m kind of glad, honestly. I just want them to be happy together /// Though I do like many of the ships so far suggested haha


	4. Chapter 4

 

Allen blinked wearily, and a quick look around the dark room told him neither Timcanpy nor Link had tried to wake him up. He shifted, breathing deeply into his pillow, when his phone vibrated again. Groaning, Allen propped himself up on his elbow, and rubbed the sleep from his eyes as he reached for the cell, and Timcanpy wobbled sleepily into the air. Lit brightly on the screen was Alma’s selfie with Kanda, tongue out and winking. Allen huffed a laugh before answering.

“Hullo?” Allen asked, hoping he didn’t sound as drowsy as he felt. Tim helpfully bit his ear, and Allen tugged the phone away as he hissed.

 _“Did I wake you up?”_ Alma asked worriedly, but with a hint of incredulity. Allen sat up fully, the covers falling to wrap around his middle. He glanced at the clock on his end table and winced at the late hour.

“No, no,” Allen assured, sliding from his bed and shivering at the cool touch of the floor. He stretched, popping his back. “What’s up?” He smacked his mouth in distaste, and left for the bathroom.

 _“Well… I was just gonna… say that I want to go with you!”_ Alma ended quickly, and Allen hummed. Link raised his brow from his seat in the living room, homework splayed on the coffee table. Allen stumbled into the bathroom, Tim fluttering off towards the living room.

“Wait, what?” Allen asked, suddenly processing Alma’s words as he turned the light on, wincing at his face. God, he _looked_ like last night had taken its toll on him. “Go with me where, exactly?” But he already had an idea of what Alma was asking.

_“Yuu and me… we wanna go with you from now on! When you go… get money.”_

“No,” Allen said sternly, squeezing his eyes as images flashed through his mind; of Alma drinking, of them getting in trouble, of Allen getting them mixed up with his own problems.

Alma stayed silent on the mind, and Allen realized with a wince that what he said must’ve hurt. But, this wasn’t fun and games. Allen didn’t go to these places looking for a good time. He went to settle his debts.

“Alma,” he groaned, rubbing at his brow. In his reflection, the shadow seemed to snicker. “I wouldn’t be able to look out for you.”

 _“You don’t have to! I’ll have Yuu with me!”_ Alma insisted, and Allen took a moment to realize Alma meant Kanda and not ‘you’ as in ‘Allen’. Allen sighed. _“We’ll just try to get in on our own,”_ Alma threatened, and Allen hated that it worked.

Allen considered his reflection for a moment, then said, “You can come… but only if you stay with Link the entire time.”

Alma cheered over the line, and Allen suppressed a groan, already knowing he was going to regret it. “Alright, Alma. Let me tell Link and I’ll call you back.” Alma cheerfully said _talk to you later!_ before hanging up, and Allen let his shoulders slump, digging his fingertips into the cool surface of his sink. He slid his phone onto a shelf before washing his face and brushing his teeth. As he gargled, the door swung open lightly. Allen met Link’s gaze through the mirror. He thought it cute that it bothered Link when Timcanpy rested on his head like that, but the blond never did anything to stop it.

“And where are we going?” Link asked almost petulantly from the doorway, and Allen struggled not to laugh. He spit the wash out and watched the liquid drain down the sink. “I should’ve woken you up earlier,” Link continued into the silence, frowning. “You won’t be able to sleep at all tonight, Walker.” Then his face grew pinched, and Allen could almost hear the mocking words, _that’s not my job._

Allen grabbed his phone and passed Link who shuffled to let him through. “Are there any cookies left?” Allen asked instead, following his nose to the kitchen.

“You just brushed your teeth and you want _cookies_?” Link asked, appalled, then, “No. Bookman Junior stole the rest as they left.”

“He _what_?” Allen demanded. Scowling, he thumbed through his phone to Lavi’s contact, sending an angry message. “He comes into _my_ house and eats _my_ cookies. Ingrate.” Link stifled a snort, which Allen ignored. Lavi was surprisingly quick to reply, and Allen mused that his message must’ve sounded angrier than he intended. He scanned over the text, grumbling, “Damn straight he’s going to get me more. He doesn’t know how hard it is to make you bake something.”

“Walker, you are full of it,” Link scowled, settling back in front of his homework. “You eat everything I bake! Also, I checked your science homework and you got one of the questions wrong.”

Allen looked back from his position in front of the refrigerator. “And my math?” He asked worriedly, digging for the leftover sandwich he knew Link had left.

“All correct,” Link grumbled, bending back over his work as Allen emerged, mouth filled with bread and meat.

“It should be,” Allen muttered petulantly. As much as he had to handle Cross’ finances, he ought to even be teaching their class.

“Is that my sandwich?” Link demanded, and Allen swallowed.

“So, Alma and Kanda want to come with us next time.” Allen took a seat on the armchair, snagging one of the worksheets. His brow rose as he noticed it covered material they hadn’t even started on yet.

“Don’t change the subject,” Link scolded tersely, then, “And what do you mean they want to come with us? Absolutely not.” He set down the work and pencil and straightened his back, curving his hands around his knees. Allen let his head fall back on the armchair, rolling it along the edge of the cushion and trying to alleviate the headache building there. His eyes fell shut.

“It means exactly what it sounds like. Alma said we either take them with us or they sneak in after us. And I promise you, when Alma set’s his heart on something, I don’t think even the apocalypse would stop him.” He craned his head further back, breath tussling one of the tassels hanging from a wall scroll Cross gave them. “Plus, there’s Kanda.”

Link remained silent for a while longer, and Allen furrowed his brow. “What time is it, Link?” He could hear the shuffling of cloth as Link checked his watch - a finely crafted metal piece that displayed the inner workings and was trimmed in gold. A gift, Link had told him. Allen thought Link had blurred the lines between ‘gift’ and ‘manipulative abusive bargaining’, but that was none of his business.

“Eight,” Link told him, and Allen tugged his phone out to text Alma. “And it’s your turn to wash the dishes.” Allen snorted in amusement and waved his hand, indicating he’d get to it soon, and Allen thought he heard him grumble something under his breath.

“Alright,” Allen said cheerily, standing suddenly and wobbling at the head rush. Link looked at him in concern, and Allen gave him a grin. “They’ll meet us here, and we’ll go together.”

“Then those dishes definitely have to get done now,” Link replied, annoyed, “if we’re having guests.” Link didn’t seem to appreciate it when Allen laughed raucously.

* * *

“Wait, so that was it?” Alma demanded, darting a glance over his shoulder at the bar’s entrance and at the man standing guard. Kanda’s shoulders were held stiffly as he eyed the already drunken patrons meandering around them, his brow scrunched in annoyance. Alma hurriedly followed Allen and Link. “I thought… I don’t know, I thought it would be harder to get in...or something,” he trailed off uncertainly, embarrassed.

Allen laughed kindly. “Hmm, it really depends on the place, but my uncle is friends with the owner here. ‘Sides, Kanda doesn’t look his age and people always tell me they can never tell how old I am. So long as we aren’t obviously drinking, then Mahoja is cool with letting us pass.” Alma frowned as Allen easily navigated the crowd, leading steadily towards the tables set up in the back.

“Mahoja?” Alma echoed, resisting the urge to pinch the back of Allen’s shirt and hold on. Instead he grabbed Kanda around his forearm, and the boy only grunted but didn’t tug it back.

Allen looked over his shoulder and nodded towards the bouncer. “She’s Mahoja. She works for Anita and is… a, uh, jack of all trades, I suppose you could say.” Allen grinned as if at a private joke, and Alma worried how Allen knew any bit of personal information about this Mahoja, who looked like she could crack a man's head between her formidable thighs. _#neverskiplegday,_ Alma thought in amusement, and wished he'd taken a picture to show Lenalee.

“What does that even mean?” Kanda snapped, belligerent and glaring at a man who was looking way too closely at Kanda. “What the fuck do _you_ want?” The man reared back at the promise of a fight in Kanda’s tone, and Link scowled.

“Kanda, please, don’t get us kicked out. It’s not our fault you’re so pretty,” Allen jeered, turning away from the gambling tables and heading towards a line of booths. Alma felt the place was bigger than it actually seemed, and it was only the undulating drunk crowd around them that made it feel so crowded. Before Kanda could snap and maybe punch Allen or something, they arrived at a set of mostly… clean booths. Alma eyed the shine on them with distaste, but Link looked utterly repulsed. “Here, you guys stay here. Link will… also stay here.” Link snorted but slid into one side, and Kanda nudged Alma to enter first.

Allen hesitated, and Alma turned to look at him. He was dressed to impress, in dark pants and a shirt that clung to his skin without being tight. _He knows how to play up his body,_ Alma thought, then grimaced in guilt. Looking at Allen this way in the dimmed bar lights really did give the age-less impression. Alma glanced at Link, who also looked older than them, especially with how defined his jaw was and how strong his forearms looked. He seemed like a man versus Alma’s boyish youth, and it made Alma ashamed. He wondered if _he_ looked his age.

“Alma,” Allen called, and the boy looked up worriedly. Allen smiled gently, and Alma marveled at the special way Allen had of making it seem like you were the only one that mattered, how utterly focused and special you could feel. Here they were in a noisy bar with the both admittedly hot Kanda and Link, and still Allen could make Alma feel like he wasn’t just some annoying tag-along. “Don’t worry. No one here is looking at us, and this booth is pretty isolated.” Alma glanced around and saw that Allen was right. Despite their rather loud make-up - what with Kanda and his almost stupid-beautiful looks and long hair, Link’s blond braid and cut features, Allen’s shock of white locks and tattooed face and even _Alma’s_ purple hair, they ought to be getting more looks than they were. He felt himself relax, just a bit, and reminded himself that people came to drink and have a good time, not ogle teenagers.

“There, you see?” Allen asked. “Alright. I won’t be long, but don’t accept anything anyone gives you. _Nothing_. If you get thirsty or hungry, ask Link. Only accept things from him or me, okay?”

Alma thought of the way Allen looked Friday night, strung out and face slack, and nodded. Allen grinned in relief. “Good. I’ll see you guys later.” He nodded at Link and Kanda and left, disappearing with astonishing ease into the crowd.

Alma watched as Allen reappeared by the tables crowded with gamblers. Allen grinned cheekily and acted nervous, before sitting at a round table filled with cards. Alma didn’t recognize the game - he wasn’t one much for cards, too many rules - but Allen seemed pretty at ease. They dealt a round and began to play, shuffling and exchanging and flicking cards. At seemingly random intervals various men would shout or groan, the sounds lost in the sea of chatter. Music began to swell, and Alma thought you only could be drunk to enjoy it.

Allen was wearing a smile as he played, and slowly the pile of money grew and shrunk and grew, and Alma wondered if he was cheating. He wondered when, exactly, Allen learned to gamble and play and wear a smile as innocent as the folders of flowers in his phone as he dealt in money. The contrast unnerved Alma, who shuddered. Allen had changed in many ways just as in some he remained the same. He always had been, Alma reflected, a good liar.

“Stupid beansprout is going to get himself in trouble,” Kanda said beside Alma, glaring a hole into the fake wood grain. Alma twisted back to face him, and noted that Link mostly ignored them, eyes warily watching Allen. Creepy as it was, at the moment Alma was relieved. He couldn’t help the thrum of nervous energy lacing through him at the loud crowd, sloshing of liquor and quick _thwip_ of cards being handled.

“That’s why we’re here,” Alma said firmly. “We want to know more about him? Then we gotta go where he goes. Otherwise, we’ll never know.”

“ _You_ want to know more about him,” Kanda corrected. “I’m just here because you’d bitch otherwise.”

“I would not!” Alma cried, offended. “I don’t _bitch_.”

“You do. It’s annoying.” Kanda shifted to lean on his elbows, hands crossed at the wrist as he settled to look beyond Alma and towards the bar.

“You’re rude,” Alma whined, and at Kanda’s raised brow realized what he was doing. “That’s not bitching,” he hurriedly said, and Kanda snorted a laugh. He suddenly noticed Link, and the blond glanced away to return staring at Allen. Alma blinked, then frowned guiltily. “Sorry, Link. Sometimes we can get a little wrapped up.” Link didn’t deign him with a response, and as Alma felt Kanda tense beside him he hurried to continue the conversation. He floundered for a topic and latched hastily onto the thought that had been lingering in his mind for the week. “Why are you with Allen anyways? I mean,” he corrected nervously “like, how did you meet? Why are you living together? Does Mana know about you? Does his uncle - Kanda, what was his name? Cross? - does he know? Are you a relative? Cross’ son?”

Alma only stopped to suck in a breath when Kanda elbowed him. “Stop throwing questions at him,” Kanda said, and Alma nodded, flushed.

Link looked appalled. “I am _not_ Marian Cross’ son.” Alma laughed - Allen wore the exact same face when someone asked him that - and Link frowned at him. “I… I think that none of that is any of your business,” he said, and Alma noted the effort as he tried to lessen the blow of the unkind words.

Alma shrugged, dragging his eyes to watch Allen, who seemed to be surrounded by various objects, coins, and dollars. “I want to know. No, I _need_ to know. I don’t care if it’s none of my business. You don’t understand.”

No one except Kanda did. Allen had disappeared. Alma had finally just thought Allen had left them without a care - that Allen had never loved them like Alma had loved Allen - or that, even worse, they were dead, and he would never be able to find out among the lands and peoples of a foreign England. Alma could respect Allen’s need for privacy - Allen, even from back then, had always been secretive with almost everything. Allen seemed afraid of rejection, and so Alma had resolved to never let him feel any less than all of Alma’s overbearing love. When Allen had left, it had felt like a slap in the face.

He shook his head. It was useless to linger on old feelings and past hurts. In the present and now, Allen was here, with Alma and Kanda and laughing every day. In the now, Alma could ask Allen all he wanted and hug him as many times as he wanted.

“Can’t you tell me about Allen? Please?” Kanda stiffened at Alma’s begging, but Alma didn’t care.

“Alma Karma,” Link hissed, and Alma reared back in alarm at the amount of anger in Link’s voice, frantically wondering what he’d done to set off the normally tolerant blond. “Stop digging into Walker’s past. It is none of your business.” Link had let go of the effort of inflicting his words with a kind tone and gone straight for ire. “He doesn’t _want you to know_ , don’t you understand?”

Kanda uncrossed his wrists and seemed to loom beside Alma, but he was too overwhelmed, eyes wide with hurt and shock. It had never crossed his mind that Allen didn’t automatically love Alma and Kanda back like Alma did him. Was he being annoying? Was he just inflicting himself onto Allen, bothering him and pestering him and begging him to tag-along? Alma’s mind flew back over all their interactions, how he had bullied Allen into letting them come along, and he felt his shoulders hunch in dismay and hurt.

Here he knew all along that Allen was a private person, and yet still he was digging and digging, forcing Allen to tell him things he didn’t want to and even going behind his back to find out more. God, what kind of person was he? Alma felt tears sting at his eyes and his breath hitch. Even more than hurting Allen, it stung to realize that maybe… maybe Allen didn’t love him. At all. That Alma was a distant stranger who he used to be friends with, and this kind polite Allen didn’t have the wherewithal to tell Alma to back off.

“Listen here, you son of a bitch,” Kanda began, and Alma was jerked from his spiral of haunting thoughts to focus on Kanda. Horrified, he watched as Kanda’s muscles tensed, and he narrowed a steely glare at Link.

Link looked hotly back, angry and confused. “Excuse you? What right do you have to get angry?” It struck Alma that Link was, perhaps, a very literal person, but he didn’t care. Literal or not, what Link had said had hurt, and Alma was vindictive enough to not care.

“Shut up,” Kanda snapped, and Alma thought he should do something to stop him, but, he realized, he didn’t want to. He _wanted_ Kanda to take everything Link had shot at him and throw it back with interest. Alma had always known deep down inside he was a petty and pathetic person, jealous and clingy, but he never knew how awful he was until now. Until he _wanted_ his best friend to attack the only other person in Allen’s life simply because it wasn’t Alma. “Apologize to Alma.”

Link rose to the bait, dark eyebrows drawn in anger and jaw clenched so tightly Alma could see the muscle jumping in the pressure. The sounds of the crowd seemed to die away as Alma focused on only how much he wanted Link to take back his words and claim they were all a lie.

Suddenly, the crowd roared and tables crashed over, glasses shattering and people screaming. Alma jerked his head to the side, and missed the moment both Kanda and Link surged from their seats, grabbing each other by the collar. Alma’s shout was lost in the cacophony, and boots thundered across the floor. People were still screaming and more glasses were being broken, liquid splattering across the floor and music thumping deep into the wooden boards, pounding in time with Alma’s racing heart.

In the whirlwind of sound around them, Link seemed to come to himself. Slowly, he dropped his hands back to his side. “I do not want to fight you,” Link said quietly. Alma more read his lips than actually heard his words.

Kanda didn’t seem to care. “I don’t give a shit. Apologize to Alma.”

“Kanda Yuu,” Link said carefully, staring Kanda in the eye. “This is neither the time nor place for this.” Alma felt his body tense as Kanda’s did, but Link’s darted to the side and Alma followed, spying a flushed and grinning Allen running up.

His smile dropped as he saw them, and he slowed to a walk before stopping at their table. He frowned, but before he could say anything the bouncer from before - Mahoja, Alma recalled - appeared at his side, gently touching Allen on his shoulder. Allen looked so small next to the towering woman.

“Allen Walker,” Mahoja said quietly, then bent to whisper in Allen’s ear. Alma didn’t know how Allen heard anything in the noise of the fighting bar and screaming patrons, but Allen nodded. Mahoja left and Allen turned to them. Alma’s heart stuttered when he realized Allen was _angry_.

“Come on guys, let’s go. We’ll deal with this later.” Alma could only nod and numbly follow Allen as he weaved through the crowd, heading towards the back.

Alma wanted to ask Allen lots of things. Why were they leaving, had something happened, what had Mahoja told him, did he win anything, did he lose, was gambling fun, did he do this often. Did Allen hate him, them, did he regret coming back.

But the possible answer to those words kept Alma’s mouth shut in fear, and he retreated to Kanda’ comforting, familiar side, watching as Link stepped up to be beside Allen, turning his head to the side to say something. He watched as Allen easily tilted his face to him, responding words that were lost in the noise between them.

Alma’s stomach sunk and his heart beat painfully as he stared at the easy open expression Allen wore, and how there was no trace of anger when he looked at Link.

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A messy confrontation and too much emotional bullshit for three in the morning, in Kanda's opinion. Also, an Alma Karma Essay at the end of this. And I'm sorry for all the cliff-hangers haha

The ride back in Link’s car was mostly silent to Allen’s relief. In the passenger seat he lolled his head back, rubbing it softly against the leather. The quiet thrum of Link’s car was a balm in the warm late night, and the only other sound was the occasional clicking of the blinker when Link changed lanes. It was a refreshing change from the cacophony of the bar.

As all good things, it didn’t last.

“Beansprout,” Kanda started, and Allen hummed, eyes still closed. The atmosphere must’ve affected Kanda, too, because his voice was low and muted. “What happened?”

Allen let a soft sigh through, thinking of the comforting smell of cigarette smoke that curled in the air. “A fight broke out. Mahoja let us out through the back to avoid the police coming in. I lost a third of my winnings,” he grumbled, upset. In the chaos, someone had decided that Allen had cheated (which he had, but no one had caught him, so-) and had confiscated what they felt they should’ve earned. Allen thought they ought to feel his fist in their face.

“Is that why you were angry?” Alma asked timidly, sounding young and scared, and Allen winced at his apathy. Of course Alma would’ve been scared by the chaos of the bar. Really, he should’ve explained what happened as soon as they got out.

“I wouldn’t say I was particularly angry,” Allen began, looking through partially opened eyes as the darkened road slipped past under headlights. It made him dizzy, so he shut his eyes once more, focusing on Link’s steady breathing and trying to ignore the angry throbbing in his head. “Annoyed, really. It’ll be a while before I can go back again, which is fine, I suppose.” Anita owned many establishments, losing one wasn’t an issue.

They fell into quiet to Allen’s relief, and it wasn’t until they were pulling into Allen’s apartment complex did Alma speak up again, voice sounding stronger but still awfully muted. “Allen, is doing all this really okay? Is Mana really okay with this?”

Allen sucked in a breath, eyes slamming open. Link’s fingers tightened over the steering wheel, the leather creasing. “ _Okay?”_ Allen asked incredulously, twisting in his seat to face Alma, who sat behind Link. In the dark, he couldn’t see Alma’s face very well, only the glitter of his eyes. The belt constricted his chest, becoming suddenly unbearable. “Of _course_ it’s not okay! None of this is okay!” He hurriedly unbuckled his seatbelt, the metal snapping back with the sudden release and smacking the door frame. Link said something Allen couldn’t hear over the pounding in his head.

He forced a deep breath out, and quietly said, “Alma, I don’t do these things for fun and games. I do them because I _have_ to. Not everyone gets all the choices in the word,” he bit out, bitter and resentful. It wasn’t Alma’s fault that Allen was stuck with the short end of the stick. Hell, you could even say it wasn’t Allen’s (though he’d beg to differ). Life just sucked and was unfair, and it rankled more than it should have for wealthy happy secure Alma to throw his life choices back at him like he’d an actual decision in the matter.

“What are you talking about?” Alma demanded, sounding horrified and childish.

No. No, he didn’t blame Alma, and never had. Hell, until this moment he’d never even _thought_ he’d resent Alma for anything. His head pounded in time with his furious heartbeat, and Allen rubbed his fingers into his temples, hoping to assuage the ache. He was lashing out because of pain and frustration and it wasn’t Alma’s fault.

“I’m sorry, Alma,” Allen said, suddenly tired and bone-weary. “I shouldn’t have yelled at you.”  He heard Kanda shift in his seat, and Link placed the car into park. Allen blinked wearily up and saw they were in front of his apartment. “Come on, let’s go inside. We can talk more then.”

* * *

 

Link, Allen thought, was a pure _god-send._ Without even a word the blond padded into the kitchen and set a pot of coffee to brew, and while Allen normally didn’t drink the caffeinated beverage, he found that tonight he craved the bitter taste on his tongue. Also, didn’t caffeine chase headaches away? Or had he misheard that? When Link also put on a pot of tea Allen laughed softly.

“What’s funny?” Kanda asked, settled into the armchair with Alma perched beside it. Allen tilted his head from its propped position on the side of the couch, knuckles kneading into his temple.

He waved his free hand. “Nothing, nothing. Just the night catching up to me,” he chuckled again, then tugged the throw from the back of the couch to rest across his legs. It was rather hot out, and the thought of drinking coffee while covered was appalling, but the weight was comforting as he fiddled with the bundled threads on the edges.

Alma was quiet. It bothered Allen, and he had the sinking feeling it was mostly his fault. He sighed, breath hot on his palm and reflecting back onto his face. There was a clock on the wall over the kitchen table that dutifully counted the time aloud, and Allen closed his eyes to it, feeling as if he were drifting away.

“Walker,” Link called, and Allen blinked to find Link before him, holding both a water bottle and a mug of steaming coffee. “Drink the water first,” Link instructed, and Allen obediently took both, setting the cup on the coffee table and uncapping the bottle. Kanda and Alma each had a cup of tea already, and Link came back with his own cup of coffee. He sat next to Allen on the end of the couch closest to Kanda, and Allen blinked at the wave of deja vu.

He downed the bottle in one go, shocked at how thirsty he was at the first sip. The ticking of the clock was almost oppressive, and the atmosphere was strange. He took Link’s wrist without warning to check the time, and the blond humph-ed in annoyance at Allen’s liberties. It was near two in the morning.

Allen looked up at Alma and was shocked by how nervous he appeared. His mouth was twisted into a grimace and his shoulders were hunched, hands folded over in his lap and body radiating nerves.

“Alma,” Allen said, breaking the silence and causing Alma to jump. “What’s wrong? You’ve been like this since we left,” he said, almost surprised about the honesty in the statement. It wasn’t just because of Allen’s little outburst in the car. Alma _had_ been quiet and nervous for a while.

Kanda narrowed his eyes into a steely glare and opened his mouth to no doubt slander Allen with rude obscenities when Alma jumped forward, sloshing his tea over the edge of his cup and splattering Kanda’s ankle with it. Both he and Link sucked in a breath, but Alma was already panicking.

“I’m sorry Allen! I’m so sorry! Here I am, doing nothing but just digging around when I haven’t even _asked_ you yet and I already know you’re a private person but I still went around and I forced you to take us along even though I know you didn’t want us there and Link was right to be angry with me cause I was wrong and I’m just so sorry, Allen!” Alma blubbered, voice hitching and pitch increasing until it was garbled mess of tears. Allen hastily set his cup down in alarm when Alma began to cry. “I’m a terrible friend, I’m being so awful to you!”

He stood and crossed around the coffee table to gently approach the teary boy, sending a silent thanks to Kanda when the teen took Alma’s cup away. “Alma, Alma,” Allen called, lowering his voice so that Alma had to stop babbling to hear him. “Alma Karma, what are you apologizing for?” Allen asked gently, cupping Alma’s shoulders.

Alma’s breathing slowly returned to normal, though his shoulders still jerked minutely. “I was asking Link and everyone else about you… you were gone, Allen,” Alma murmured, eyes wide and shining, before darting down to stare at their feet. “And… and that was wrong. I shouldn’t have done that. I shouldn’t have cried either, I’m sorry. I was,” his breath hitched, “j-just s-so afraid you were _mad_ at me.”

Allen moved to wipe Alma’s tears away and hesitated at the sight of his gloves, soiled by the bar with liquid and grime. He wiggled it off his right hand against his leg and let the cloth fall by their feet with a soft _plop._ With his bare fingers he wiped Alma’s tears away, smearing them across his cheeks with his thumb, and was shocked when Alma backed away. He watched mutely as Alma stepped to the wall and pressed his back flush against it. It was only the short length of the arm chair and Alma was still well within Allen’s reach, but he remained still, watching Alma.

“No, Allen,” Alma said, using the heel of his hand to scrub away any remaining tears so that his face was dry and red, cheeks still slightly damp. Alma dragged his hand down his face as he took a deep breath. “I shouldn’t have cried,” Alma said resolutely, and Allen was still wondering why he’d cried in the first place.

“I said… I said I wouldn’t push you. But I did. I went and did exactly that. It just… it just didn’t feel like I was when I visited you here or when I asked to tag along. But, it was. And I’m sorry, A-Allen,” Alma said brokenly, and Allen felt his heart wrenching. He was such a selfish bastard. Here he was, mourning that he was all alone in the world, and Alma had always been there, had always been reaching out for him even when Allen rejected him cruelly with silence and misdirections.

Alma breathed in wobbly, and then looked at Allen firmly, eyes bright but no longer teary. “I mean it this time. I won’t push anymore. I won’t pry. I won’t… I won’t do things that bother you… like that.” He trailed off, eyes dropping to focus on Allen’s collar, gaze unfocused. “But… but I still want to know. You don’t have to tell me… but if you ever want to, I’ll always listen.”

Allen felt his eyes burn and he stared hard at his shoes, fingers curling into fists. Allen didn’t deserve Alma and all his love, all his worry and kindness. _God_ , Allen thought, _what kind of screw up do I have to be to have Alma apologizing to me?_

Somehow, Allen had forgotten the extent of Alma’s love. When Alma loved, it was bright and burning like the sun, and he loved fiercely. Miraculously, Allen had become one of those people Alma looked at with a shine in his eyes and a ready hand, always eager to make Allen happy. Always excited to just see Allen _smile_ for God’s sake, and all Allen was doing was burning any and every chance he could to make Alma feel better.

His tongue felt dry and heavy with dread and self-hate, and so he nodded numbly, working up to talking and saying words and comforting Alma, but Alma didn’t wait.

He turned to Link, and Allen watched mutely. Link looked tense, sharp gaze resting on Alma’s.

“Link,” Alma began, hesitated, then forged on. “Thank you. Thank you for sticking up for Allen even against his friends. For telling me what I was doing… because I don’t know if I would’ve realized otherwise.” He huffed a self-depreciating laugh. “Thank you for even trying to be kind while you said it. And… I’m sorry.”

Allen wondered what he had missed while he’d been away, but his cheeks felt inflamed once more. It sounded like… it sounded like _Link_ had _defended_ him against Alma, of all people. He turned his gaze onto Link, who looked like he was doing his best impression to become one with the couch under their scrutiny.

_It’s not my job._

Allen could tell Link wanted to say it, to break this tenuous misunderstanding growing between them, and he watched with bated breath as Link took a deep breath, looked away, then sighed, gaze focusing on their bookshelf. “It is nothing, Alma Karma. Don’t… don’t thank me, for it.”

Allen looked down at his shoes, unable to keep the bitter smile from surfacing. Of course Link wouldn’t wanted to be thanked for it. He wasn’t supposed to have done it in the first place.

In the wake of Link’s unexpected response, Alma shuffled uncertainly and Allen stepped forward to say… what? He watched as the tension built in Alma, shoulders hunching in and a muscle jumping in his jaw as he bit back on his teeth. He wanted to cry, Allen realized. Cry, because he thought he was an awful terrible friend to Allen, and that Allen was angry and upset at him for it. That Allen hated him for worrying about him, when in reality Alma was one of the very very few remaining who ever thought of him at all.

Allen swallowed down his first impulse and tugged off his remaining glove. He didn't know what he was going to say, or what he was even feeling, but Alma didn't need Allen's feelings going out of control right now. What Alma was saying and what Allen was thinking weren't related, and right now his concern was Alma -

_Mana? Mana, do you hear me? What's wrong, Mana?_

\- not bygone ghosts.

Gently, Allen tugged on Alma's hand, and when he turned to face Allen, the shorter teen cupped Alma's face. Alma stilled beneath him, breath going shallow and shoulders tensing.

He rubbed Alma's cheeks with his thumb, soothing the irritated skin under his eyes. He chuckled softly. "Look, you've rubbed your eyes so hard the skin is all red." He brought Alma's face close, enough so that Alma had no choice but to look Allen in the eyes. Distantly, he could hear Link shuffle, uncomfortable with their proximity, but his focus remained on Alma.

"Listen, Alma, I don't think you get it. You and Mana and, hell, even _Kanda_ were the only ones in my life for a long time. You three were the only ones who cared about me, who worried about me. And now-" his breath hitched, and there was a shift in Alma's eyes as he felt the shudder. "You have never bothered me, Alma, or made me unhappy or uncomfortable. The opposite, in fact." Allen laughed softly. "I'm sorry, Alma."

Alma tugged slightly away, mouth opening to cut Allen off, but Allen continued. "No, Alma. I _am_ sorry. You're right. I left for so long, and I haven't told you anything. That was cruel of me. I don't blame you for wanting to know, and I'm not upset. It... it's kind of nice, you know? To have someone... care enough to worry about me."

Alma's brow furrowed, and Allen finally backed away, dropping his hands from Alma's face. "So, please don't think I hate you for this, or that it bothers me. I promise to tell you... just give me some time, okay?" He patiently met Alma’s stare as the teen searched him, holding his gaze and studying him, as if looking for the sincerity beneath all the half-truths Allen had presented.

"Okay," Alma whispered, sagging as the tension was cut. He began to laugh. "Oh man, I can't believe I cried."

Kanda, who Allen had largely forgotten, snorted. "You're always crying, what do you mean you can't believe it? I'd be more shocked if you didn't cry."

"Shut up," Alma grumbled without heat, and Allen laughed.

* * *

 

At Allen’s insistence, Alma and Kanda stayed the night. Kanda nearly laughed at the look on Link’s face when Allen had offered, but for whatever reason the blond had remained silent. Kanda didn’t know what _his_ problem was, but he was relieved to not have to deal with another one. It was too damn late to be talking about feelings and shit, but of course Alma never had any kind of sense - common or otherwise - to have waited until a decent hour to unload his bullshit.

For once, Allen hadn’t pissed Kanda off. _A miracle_ , he thought sarcastically, shoving Alma off the sofa. He settled into the cushions with a grunt, ignoring Alma’s cry of dismay. Alma wanted to have this heart to heart at three in the fucking morning, then Kanda was getting the damn couch. Alma seemed to realize this, because it was only with minimal bitching that he relented and contorted himself into the armchair. Kanda tugged his hair tie loose with a sigh, unwinding it and setting it in a bunch on the coffee table. He carded his fingers through his hair until his scalp stopped stinging at the abrupt change, and as he laid down on his back tossed the long strands over the side of the couch. Kanda grunted his thanks when Alma stretched over to turn off the lamp, casting the room in darkness save for the window of moonlight over the dining table.

Despite the uncomfortable make-shift bed, Kanda found himself kept awake less by the bumpy cushions and more by what had happened. It made him… uncomfortable, to say the least. Unbidden, he thought back to when Allen had cupped Alma’s face and drawn him near, looking straight into Alma’s eyes and locking him there like nothing else in the world existed but Alma in that moment. They had matched in a way, and Allen made Alma stand out more than he already did, white hair contrasting Alma’s purple-blue “space-whatever-the-fuck aesthetic” dye and pale skin sharply pointing out Alma’s healthy tan.

It had been such an intimate moment that Kanda felt the almost unbearable urge to look away, like Two Spots had, but something kept him anchored, watching with wide eyes. He found himself almost memorizing the moment, the curl of Alma’s thick and coarser hair shifting with strands of Allen’s white hair, the dark of Alma’s eyes staring into Allen’s grey ones, the red of Allen’s hand cupping Alma’s cheek and the light outlining their features. He had felt his heart settle, calming down and releasing a pent-up tension he hadn’t realized was there.

This. This was what had been missing for all those years. Allen gave Alma what Kanda could never bring himself to do - comfort, words, affection and acceptance. Kanda was a cold brute. He knew this, and frankly didn’t give a shit. But even he wasn’t cold enough to heartlessly deny Alma, his only real friend, comfort. But it was hard to work up the will to accept the many touches Alma wanted to bestow and to soothe Alma’s fears. Allen could do all that - _did_ all that, without hesitation or fear.

And that easy acceptance angered Kanda. It shouldn’t be so easy to just… _forgive_ Allen for what he’d done. He’d abandoned them and brushed them off and left them behind. With a jolt, Kanda realized the sour taste in his mouth was bitter rejection, and he almost barked a laugh before biting his tongue.

He sighed. He was tired of all this emotional bullshit, and frankly he hadn’t even been bothered by it until Alma had to have his breakdown at the bar and here. Kanda was simple and honest, and he didn’t understand Allen and Alma’s almost fucking _compulsive_ need to make things complicated.

But whatever. It was over and done with now, to Kanda’s relief. Let bygones be bygones, or something like that. If Alma and Allen were okay with each other, then Kanda was not about to be the one going and fucking shit up.

In the quiet all Kanda could hear was the gentle ticking of a clock and Alma’s steady slow breathing. Kanda was relieved that he was asleep. It hadn’t skipped his notice how much more tired Alma had been recently, pale and skin stretched tight over his bones. Multiple times this week Kanda had to drag Alma out of bed, not because the boy liked to oversleep but because he simply wouldn’t _fall asleep_ until it was so late it was morning.

Allen was right (for once). Alma didn’t realize what he did for them. For Alma, who loved so much and with all his heart, it was inconceivable that not everyone loved the same, and that not everyone had all the love in the world. For people like Allen, who had so little, Alma’s nurturing tendencies were almost unbearable.

He shifted onto his side and caught the gleam of the stones on his tie. It was the red one, the gift from Alma. He stared at it until his eyes grew heavy with sleep, then relented, his even breath deepening and matching Alma’s.

It felt like it was only thirty fucking minutes later when Link padded into the room, and Kanda groaned with dismay. Link stopped, and he could feel his eyes on him as he flopped onto his back and threw his arm over his eyes. Apparently it had been longer than thirty minutes since the sun was out, lighting up the room enough to make it bleed red behind Kanda’s closed lids.

“Did I wake you?” Link said lowly, and Kanda was almost jealous that Alma was still asleep. “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize I was so loud.”

“Shut up,” Kanda mumbled into his arm. He had almost supernatural hearing. Link could have been floating and Kanda probably would’ve still heard him. “Doesn’t matter.”

Link stood still for a moment before padding off, quieter than before though it didn’t matter. Kanda was already awake and Alma always slept like he’d made a deal with Death every night.

Kanda slurred something that sounded coherent enough to him - and shit, no one should expect any more from him on what felt like an hour of sleep - and Link paused in the kitchen. “You really ought to refer to people by name,” Link bitched, and Kanda sighed into his arm. A moment later, he said, “And Allen is in our room getting ready.” He sounded bitter about something, but Kanda couldn’t be bothered to try and analyze The Great Link.

“Something about me?” Allen asked, and Kanda peered up from his wrist to find Allen silently walking into the living room. He paused over Alma, watching him sleep for a moment with a gentle smile that made Kanda feel ridiculous intrusive, and then turned a more polite version of it onto Kanda. “Good morning,” Allen said with a nod, and Kanda snorted. “Rude as ever,” Allen grumbled, heading into the kitchen.

Kanda remained on the couch, trying and failing to gather enough fucks to get up. He only managed to when whatever Link was cooking began to waft over to him, making him uncomfortably aware of the last time he’d eaten. Which was to say, too fucking long ago. He sat up and swung his legs over the couch, squinting at the head rush even as he reached for his tie.

He crossed the living room and pulled the tie snug round his hair, a low ponytail that had more hair shifting out of it then in, but it did the job well enough.

He leaned onto the bar counter, watching dazedly as Link puttered around and Allen made himself a general nuisance. Allen glanced at him and smothered a laugh with the back of a flour-covered hand. “What?” Kanda demanded.

“Nothing,” Allen snickered. “Just reminded me of when we used to spend the night at Alma’s house.”

Kanda blinked and tried vainly to remember through his fogged brain. Allen continued, to Kanda’s despair. “We braided your hair once.”

“Shut the fuck up,” Kanda grumbled, then groaned as he remembered the incident. He’d only done it because Alma and Allen wouldn’t stop begging and whining about it. It was after he’d stopped cutting his hair into it’s normal cut around his shoulders, and had begun to grow it out.

“Walker, make yourself useful and set the table,” Link said, bumping Allen slightly to set the boy in motion. Allen laughed lightly - at what, Kanda didn’t know - and reached into a cupboard to pull out several plates and cups. Kanda rounded the bar to take some wordlessly, setting the dishes onto the table. It was a small table that suited an apartment meant for two, but it had four seats and was just big enough for the squeeze to be considered comfy and not claustrophobic-inducing.

“Thanks Kanda,” Allen smiled at him and Kanda turned in favor of grabbing the pitcher of freshly squeezed orange juice. Jesus, Link was more domestic than Tiedoll, and that was _saying_ something. He poured himself a cup and wasn’t surprised to find no pulp. Link seemed the obsessive type like that.

Heavy footsteps behind him told Kanda that Alma was finally up. He held the half-full glass out to the sleepy teen, who took it without remark. It always took a few moments for Alma to fully wake up, but once he did it was almost unholy how energetic he was so early in the morning.

“Good morning, Alma,” Allen greeted brightly.

“Good morning Alma Karma,” Link said, more distracted by flipping pancakes then being overly polite to their guests. Kanda noted how he hadn’t received a morning pleasantry, but then shrugged it off. Alma always won people over somehow.

“Good mornin’,” Alma mumbled, then finished the juice with a satisfied smack of his lips. Kanda re-filled it and snatched the cup back before Alma could down it all again.

“Are you making pancakes Link?” Alma asked, words becoming louder as he blinked fully awake. “You’re really making pancakes? Oh my God I love you. Allen, I am so jealous.”

“It’s the only thing he’s good for,” Allen teased, and Link’s irritated snap was interrupted by the door bell ringing. Allen frowned, and rounded the counter to approach the door, brushing past both Kanda and Alma with a muttered, “Who would be here this early?”

Kanda darted a glance at the clock and was shocked to find it closer to the afternoon than morning. He’d slept more than it seemed or even felt like. Instead of ruminating on this, he followed Allen a few steps behind, Alma lingering to pester Link about the pancakes.

Allen peered into the peephole and jerked back. Kanda felt himself fully awake as he became alarmed, stepping closer to Allen. He watched mutely as Allen breathed in deeply before plastering on the fakest smile Kanda had seen yet and opening the door. “Good morning, Mr. and Mrs. Chan.”

Kanda reeled back and then quickly padded over to Allen’s side, peering over his shoulder. He felt Allen shift and glance at him, but he was focusing on Edgar, Twi, and Bak, who all looked… shocked to see Allen.

Shocked and _horrified._

“Allen?” Twi breathed, hands fluttering up to her mouth. It unnerved Kanda how quickly she schooled her features then, face falling into an impassive line. “I hadn’t heard you were back.” Edgar was still horribly pale, eyes wide and filled with some heavy oppressive emotion. Bak looked similarly sick, and had backed away until the railed fence was surely biting into his back. Suddenly, Bak murmured that he’d be in the car and ran away, face green and twisted.

“I’m sorry, I should’ve gone to greet you,” Allen allowed, tilting his head and ignoring Bak’s exit. “But if you didn’t know, how did you know to come here?”

Twi shifted, the only sign of discomfort Kanda saw. Twi had always been a hard and carefully composed woman. Not to say she hadn’t been kind, but she kept her traitorous feelings under wraps, always putting on a steady poker face similar to Allen’s in nature but entirely different in projection.

“I called Lenalee when Kanda and Alma didn’t answer their phones. They told me they were here, and I thought they had just come to… check, like they used to.” Kanda frowned and realized their phones must’ve died overnight. He internally groaned when he realized the possibility of having missed a call from Tiedoll, and the ensuing lecture if it were true.

“Ah, I see.” Allen said, then stepped back and pulled the door open wider. “Would you like to come in? We were just about to have breakfast…”

Twi glanced at her husband, and though Edgar didn’t move the answer was clear in his eyes. Twi shook her head. “I’m sorry, Allen. I would love to catch up, but I wouldn’t want to impose. We just came to check on Alma and Kanda.”

“We’re staying,” Kanda bit out, frowning at Twi. They were hiding something. Something so big, that sensitive emotional Bak almost broke down. And that something had to do with Allen.

“Alma’s car is here,” Allen added. “I don’t mind if they stay. Link’s already made enough food for them and me.” He laughed lightly, but Kanda didn’t care for Allen’s attempts to lighten the tension.

“I see.” Twi said. “Would you call Alma for me please?”

The apartment was small enough that Alma could hear the whole conversation just fine. Kanda stepped back so Alma could stand beside Allen then, and Kanda shifted to rest his shoulder against the wall, sandwiching Alma between he and Allen.

“Hi mom!” Alma greeted cheerfully. “Hey dad. What’s up?”

“Alma Karma,” Twi snapped, impressive eyes narrowing into a glare. Kanda shuddered at the tone, well accustomed to the many times Twi had scolded both Alma and Kanda. Alma flinched back. “It’s fine if you want to stay with your friends, but I expect to be notified and for you to answer your cell at all times. Is that not what we agreed on?”

“Yes mom,” Alma replied, gaze straying to his feet. “I’m sorry. I think my phone died.”

“Charge it,” Twi bit out. “Then call me. Once you’re done, text me when you’re on your way over. You too, Kanda Yuu,” and Kanda jerked at the sudden address. He scowled.

“I’ll text you,” Kanda said deliberately, and Twi snorted then turned to face Allen once more, who had a strange look on his face. Twi seemed to know what was behind it, because her expression became gentle.

“Be good, Allen. Come see us soon, too.”

“Yes, Dr. Chan,” Allen nodded, smiling pleasantly. Twi nodded and stepped back, Edgar also straightening. “Then I’ll see you two later, Alma, Kanda.”

Alma’s good-byes and Allen’s polite murmurs mixed together before they shut the door, and Alma made a beeline to find their phones. Allen told Alma where he could find the chargers, and Allen only had one charged for their cell type. Alma claimed the first turn, and Kanda shrugged.

There was something more than just surprise. Twi, Edgar, and Bak had looked absolutely horrified at seeing Allen. Surprise, joy, shock, all those emotions would be appropriate for someone having just found out a childhood friend of their kid was alive after six years of absence. The looks on their faces implied they were horrified to find Allen _here_.

It didn’t make sense. Nothing about Allen ever made any fucking sense. It made dread curl in Kanda’s stomach, because despite Alma’s promise to back off, Kanda didn’t think they had a choice to.

Allen made it so easy to dismiss all the strange things - his white hair, his tattooed face, Link obsessively watching him, Mana’s strange absence in his own apartment, and even the Chan family’s over-reaction.

Kanda was getting tired of all the secrets and lies, and, really, he’d never had a high threshold for bullshit anyways. He resolved to go home with Alma. At least he could get answers from the Chan family, if not from the subject himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp, there goes some of Alma’s character development! I have more to say on that, to explain more of the reasoning behind Alma’s reactions. That’ll be at the bottom of this A/N. Ignore it if you wish.
> 
> We get Allen’s and even Kanda’s side of things! A nice chapter, yes? Even Link has realized some things, poor blond, stuck between duty and loyalty. I hope I redeemed Alma, here. Perhaps not?
> 
> Also, Kanda is referencing The Great Gatsby when he’s talking about Link, because almost every damn highschool-er has had to analyze the poor schmuck. 
> 
> And even more mysteries! What’s up with the Chan family’s reaction to Allen? It was horrific enough for even emotionally-stunted Kanda to see it. No doubt Alma - the more sensitive of the two - saw it, too, but now there’s no way Alma would be willing to dig anymore. Poor Kanda’s on his own.
> 
> Now, the Alma Karma Essay (copied and pasted from a pm to one patient reviewer because I summed it up best there):
> 
> Given that we are only shown Alma as A) a child being systematically tortured with no family unit and B) a person driven mindless in rage and revenge, there are only so much you can scrap as his "original" personality as versus one being forged by pain and anger. Alma _wants_ the people he loves to be safe, happy, and even to love him back (selfish as that is, but it’s true of anyone, no?) Not only that, Alma sacrifices almost everything for his loved ones. As much as Alma loved Kanda, he knew Kanda would live if he didn't know who Alma's soul was, so he didn't tell him. Kanda was being threatened to be killed by the scientists? Alma helps him escape twice even at the threat of being alone again (selfless). When push comes to shove, Alma holds his loved ones above even himself...and the tradeoff is that he loves them to the point of obsession. 
> 
> In this day and age there isn't really anything keeping Alma separated from his loved ones so this particular troublesome trait doesn't rear its head... of course, until Allen disappears for six years without a damn word and comes back just the same. 
> 
> I debated a bit with writing Alma this way... but it was either have this messy confrontation of feelings (which _is_ Alma's forte) or ignore it (which is Allen's). I wanted to portray exactly how much Allen's privacy and secrecy hurts others - the basic run down is, Allen disappeared for six years without a single word, and when he comes back he gives no explanation, no 'sorry', not even an "I miss you" and doesn't tell Alma and Kanda jack. What are they supposed to feel in light of someone they loved basically smacking their worry in their face? 
> 
> And so Alma's worry and hurt festers into this - almost obsessively making sure Allen won't disappear suddenly and feeling the compulsive urge to know everything about him. Of course, with someone like Allen, that curiosity doesn't bode well haha 
> 
> That isn't to say any of this excuses Alma's behavior... but I hope it explains _why_ he'd be that way or push himself onto others.


	6. Interlude

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A tumblr request to fill a meme prompt: _send me a scene with multiple characters from one of my fics , pick a character who isn't the pov character, and i'll rewrite the scene from their pov!_ Liketolaugh requested the lunch room with Link!

It was more of pain than Link was willing to admit to take these classes. They all covered things he already knew, and being a year older than everyone else didn’t help matters either. It also didn’t help that all the teachers knew who he was. What happened to secrecy and tact? Clearly Komui Lee needed to be talked to about what kind of information he released.

But, at the same time… it was kind of nice to experience high school like this. He almost felt like a bumbling fool, but when Walker clearly didn’t know what he was doing either it set him more at ease.

Nonetheless, he was relieved when lunch time rolled around. He walked just a foot ahead of Walker, leading the directionally challenged boy to the lunchroom, though the closer they got the more Link’s frown deepened. Normally Walker was ecstatic about any kind of meals, but his hunched shoulders and subdued demeanor did not match up with his usual manner. Link spared him a glance when they entered the lunchroom and watched as Walker’s eyes immediately rooted to one spot. Link followed his gaze.

It was the group from earlier. The one Walker clearly had history with. Most of them were there, and Link had no doubt that the rest would come. It was with a repressed sigh that he trailed Walker to the table, paper bag crinkling in his grip. Walker greeted them all with a nice enough smile that Link recognized to be forced, and Link gave them a nod too. They were polite enough to welcome him as well.

He sat at the end next to Walker, much more isolated than he strictly needed to make himself, and laid out Walker’s lunch and then his own. He scowled when the teen immediately tore into it, jamming mouthfuls of food in and spraying the tabletop with crumbs.

“How has everyone’s day gone?” Walker asked, hitting Link’s wrist with a piece of bread.

“Don’t talk with your mouth full,” Link snapped, taking a napkin to wipe at his wrist and then using it to sweep off all the crumbs. He glared back at Lavi when the boy quietly laughed.

“Don’t be such a mom,” Walker retorted and Link felt his ears flush. He opened his mouth to splutter a reply, but the conversation moved on and he lost his chance. Instead he focused on finishing his meal and carefully noting the conversation. The group compared schedules, and Link wondered idly if this was normal. If making friends was this easy, or if Allen Walker’s special brand of charm just made it that way with him. Link couldn’t recall ever melting into a group as seamlessly as Walker seemed to.

Link almost choked on his food when Walker said, “He still has that stick up his ass and couldn’t walk fast enough.” He turned wide eyes on Allen, astonished. Never had Walker been this openly belligerent before. He looked at Kanda Yuu, and found the teen almost bursting with sudden rage and anger. There was _definitely_ history here, and Link would be damned if he let Walker try to hide it from him.

“The fuck?” Kanda demanded, slamming his chopsticks down with a noisy clack that almost made Link wince. Half the cafeteria was looking at them by now, and it drew more questions than answers. Allen hated being the center of attention when he wasn’t carefully orchestrating it, and Link didn’t believe for one second that there was an actual reason behind Allen’s belligerent behavior. “Where the hell do you get off saying a damn thing about me?”

Link sighed and shook his head, swallowing the last bite of his lunch and pulling his notebook open. He ought to make his notes now, since clearly Kanda was willing to supply him with a lot more detail than Walker would.

Allen bit into his apple with a vicious wet crunch that sounded ridiculously gross and close to Link’s ears, and he scowled. “I wasn’t talking to you,” Allen said childishly, and Link chose to focus more on his notes and less on the petty squabble Allen decided to have. He was sure it was on purpose, since Walker could be damned good at hiding anything and everything in plain sight.

He turned his attention on the gaggle of students in the cafeteria, eyes narrowing in thought. _How convenient… this can’t be just a coincidence._ He wrote the numbers out in his book to report to Leverrier, feeling a dry laugh work up at the evidence there. The Noah Clan would send their own soon, for sure.

As the conversation continued Link felt almost amused at how much information he gleaned from it. Living with Walker hadn’t yielded as much info as this lone lunch had, and Link had the sneaking suspicion it had something to go with the Second Children rather than anything else. They seemed especially good at riling Walker up or getting him to admit the truth - or, at least, the closest variant of it. He noted this down, wondering if this was all somehow planned. What a cosmic coincidence it would be indeed that the Second Children and Walker knew each other from childhood.

Link looked up when he felt Allen’s stare, raising a brow in question as his pen paused over the book. Walker smiled. “Thanks Link, it was great,” he said sincerely, gesturing towards his meal with a sparkle in his eye and dimple in the scarred cheek. Link felt suffused with warmth, coalescing in his cheeks and ears and neck and he was absolutely mortified. Why did Walker feel the need to do these things? He shouldn’t thank him!

Lenalee shuffled uneasily, and Link turned to her. “Uh, are you two-?” Link frowned, confused when she trailed off. Are they two… _what?_ He tilted his head towards Allen - admittedly the more social savvy of the two - to ask, but Allen was already laughing and waving the question away, grin bright and mischievous.

“No, no, we have a deal, see. Link makes my lunch.”

 _Walker lies so much its a wonder his teeth aren’t rotten._ Still, he played along, answering truthfully and dryly, “Which isn’t _nearly_ worth the effort.” The amount of sweets Walker demanded almost put a crick in his wrist from over abuse. Ridiculous.

Link was startled when Kanda suddenly spoke up. “It’s damn sickening is what it is. I don’t even have an appetite anymore. Shit, at this rate I’ll never eat lunch.” Link frowned. What _was_ Kanda’s issue? It seemed far more personal than just simple antagonism. “What the fuck happened to you?”

Link’s brows rose at that, and he turned to Walker curiously and suspiciously. As long as Link had known Walker, the boy had eaten ten times his weight in food, and he’d never made it seem like it was out of the ordinary, so Link had never thought to question if it was something new. But, Kanda’s reaction clearly told otherwise. He noted this, smirking at Allen’s frown when he noticed.

The boys traded a few blows back and forth - useless name calling and childish insults that Link found vaguely amusing, as did the rest of them it seemed. But, without warning, Allen tensed and Link almost shivered at the sudden violent temperate.

“It’s _Allen_ , Ba-kan _da_ , or should I just call you dumbass?” Allen thundered, eyes dark as storm clouds and shoulders tense.

Kanda seemed almost delighted in the game, eyes bright with anger and excitement. “Maybe _I_ should just call you something different, hm? Ne-”

Allen shot up and slammed his hands onto the table, knocking cups over and utensils to the ground, and Link made a hasty grab for their free-falling lunch bags. He mindlessly set them down, watching Allen.

This wasn’t Allen.

At least, not the facade the boy always put on.

Link felt himself tremble, and he realized with a start that this boy before him scared him. Aside from the mornings when Allen woke up, there had never been any other indication that Allen wasn’t himself. Never had he disappeared during the daylight, during the waking hours. It had almost become a comfort to Link, to know that the Allen he knew was always there after the morning dawn subsided.

What had Kanda done to elicit this?

“You’re a fucking _asshole,”_ Allen spat, angrier than Link had ever seen him. He turned swiftly, leaving Link to stand hastily after him. “Come on Link,” the boy said, dismissively and cold and not at all like the Allen like Link knew.

He followed with a heavy heart, carefully recording the entire scene in his mind to be written later. He was supposed to be looking for this, he knew, but he couldn’t help the almost spiteful anger that rose in him when he passed Kanda Yuu.

This wasn’t supposed to be a problem emerging now, and Link needed to know what, exactly, had caused it.

 _Needed to know how to prevent it,_ his mind whispered desperately, and Link shot it down under layers of anger.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A wee bit spoiler-y, but I figured I might as well post since I'm a bit late with chapter 6. I write from Allen's POV for lots of reasons... the main one being that he's good at hiding things from the readers in the narrative. Link, on the other hand, is a bit too blunt lol.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me why I was half-finished with chapter 7 before I even was a thousand words into chapter 6? More things being revealed, and at the same time even less. I'm sorry to say things will get worse before they get better!
> 
> I'm glad everyone like that little aside with Link! If the chance ever arises again, then perhaps I'll do it again. Also, someone mentioned KandaxLink and while I had never considered it, well - ship as you like lol

 

Alma messily dropped his keys onto an end table as they walked into his house, chattering about everything under the sun. Kanda rolled his eyes and immediately made for the stairs. He desperately wanted to brush his teeth and maybe take a shower, but before he could get up one step Twi appeared at the top.

Kanda looked up at her coolly, noting the almost cold look in her eyes as she stared down at him. Alma grinned when he saw her. “Hey mom!” He said, bounding up the stairs to kiss her cheek exuberantly. “We just got back! You should’ve stayed, Link has the _best_ pancakes, seriously, they’re like made with the touch of God or something or maybe he sold his soul to the devil because I have never tasted pancakes as good as-”

“Alma,” Twi said bluntly, cutting off the flow. “Kanda, you too,” Twi added, nodding down to him as he slowly ascended the stairs. “Don’t get too close to that boy.”

Alma stilled, still smiling. It was just an echo of his earlier enthusiasm. “‘That boy’? You mean Link? Oh, mom, you haven’t met him yet! He’s a bit stiff and old-fashioned but he’s really nice and-”

“Alma,” Twi bit out, a flicker of emotion burning in her eyes. “I don’t mean that one. I mean _Allen Walker_. Stay away from him, both of you.”

Alma reeled back, stepping away until his back pressed against the banister. Kanda’s shoulders tensed and he climbed the rest to stand a step below Alma. “Away? From Allen?” Alma repeated, eyes wide with confusion, before narrowing in anger. “Is there a reason why?”

Twi’s lips thinned, before purposely pursing. “I don’t need to explain myself to my child. You know I never do things without reason.”

“Exactly,” Alma retorted, shifting to rest his weight on one leg and crossing his arms. Kanda remained silent, watching the scene unfold uneasily as the tension built. “So explain why. Give me a legitimate reason to avoid my best friend and I’ll do it.” _What a lie_ , Kanda thought. The whole world could be at stake, and Alma would rather save his few friends than them.

“That boy is a curse,” Edgar said, and Kanda jerked. He twisted and met the doctor’s stare from the bottom of the steps. Kanda felt his chest tighten as he remembered the words he’d said before - and felt almost sick as they were thrown back into his face. “He won’t be here long, Alma, Kanda. Don’t stay with him.”

“Edgar!” Twi snapped, and the doctor abruptly closed his mouth, looking as if he’d spoken too much.

“What do you mean?” Alma demanded. “What do you _mean_ he won’t be here long? Do you… do both of you know something we don’t?” Kanda steadily watched as Edgar grew paler and paler, and then jerked his head aside as Twi pushed passed him to head downstairs.

“Mind my words, Alma, or you’ll regret it,” Twi warned and Alma hissed angrily, breath whistling between his clenched teeth.

“You can’t tell me all this and just walk away!” Alma shouted at his parents. Twi merely shook her head and led Edgar away by shoulder. Kanda abruptly left, heading to the restroom and ignoring Alma’s heated cries behind him. All of this was just fucked up, in so many ways.

Kanda had the sinking feeling they were way in over their head… and that even they were involved. He felt like he was being made to dance to an unheard tune, jerked around on marionette strings as beyond him the puppeteer grinned and led the whole show. The Chans knew. They knew much more than Kanda was even suspecting of.

He splashed water on to his face, ignoring the way his hair dripped wetly onto his clothes, and then angrily began to brush his teeth. When he tasted blood he spat it all out and rinsed his mouth, chest heaving. What the fuck was going on and why didn’t anyone want to tell them anything?

“Yuu,” Alma said gently, and he lifted his head to meet Alma’s eyes in the mirror. “I promised Allen I wouldn’t dig anymore…” He looked pained, and Kanda realized Alma must hurt even more to have his own parents keep a secret from him.

Kanda snorted and jerked the hand towel of its hook, drying his face and hands. “I didn’t promise shit.”

Alma smiled, thin and trembling and wan. He hesitated, looked away, and then faced Kanda again. “Allen won’t be happy to have you looking around, either.”

Kanda laughed shortly and dryly and without any humor. An ugly short bark of laughter. “Since when do I care what the beansprout thinks of me? If we’re involved in this, then I’m going to find out what the fuck it is.” No one was going to jerk Kanda around and make him play a fool.

“I know,” Alma smiled, then, and it was a much better version of the sad facade he’d put on earlier. Without warning Alma surged forward and wrapped his arms around Kanda’s neck from behind, and Kanda spluttered indignantly. “This is why he trusts you, too,” Alma said into his ear, and Kanda abruptly stilled before finally shoving the teen off with a muttered curse.

* * *

 

Monday rolled around without a fuss, and homeroom was the same as ever. Fermi gave a short lecture on announcements and also mentioned something about homecoming. The student council was looking for help as they organized the event, and Alma wondered briefly if he should volunteer. Maybe he could convince Allen to join him, too! Lenalee wouldn’t mind either…

The moment Fermi finished and before Alma could turn and corner Allen, Link stood, drawing the teacher’s attention. “Yes, Mr. Link?” Fermi asked tiredly.

“Walker and I need to see Mr. Lee,” Link said sternly, and Alma mourned his chance lost. Fermi raised his brow and leveled Link with a searching look, before sighing and nodding.

“Very well, Mr. Link. Let me write you a slip.” Link nodded his thanks and glanced at Allen, who gave him a confused frown. Without a question Allen grabbed his bag, Link tugged his on, and they left with the pass Fermi gave them. As if it were a cue, once the door closed behind them the class began to chatter, dismissing the rest of homeroom.

With Link and Allen gone, their seating arrangement was very odd, and Lavi and Lenalee moved forward to occupy the vacated seats. “Wonder what that was about,” Lenalee said, head canted towards the door as though she could glean the answer from there. “My brother didn’t mention anything… but then again he never says much in the first place.”

Alma grimaced, then smiled. “It’s probably about gym. Link and Allen were arguing about it on Friday, I think. Allen doesn’t want to do it.” He glanced at Kanda for clarification, but the surly teen shrugged and looked away.

“Why not?” Lavi asked, tilting his head curiously. “I mean, I know Sokkalo is a hard ass and all, but he’s not that bad. Is Allen really bad at sports?”

Alma frowned thoughtfully, thinking back. “No… I mean, not that I remember. He was never really clumsy or anything - in fact, I think it’d be the opposite: Allen’s actually pretty good at physical things.”

Lavi wagged his brows. “Pretty good at physical things, eh? What you know that we don’t, Alma?”

Alma spluttered with laughter and Kanda frowned. “I know lots of things, Lavi,” Alma teased, and Lavi wolf-whistled, and they laughed until Fermi bit out at them to be quiet for once. Lenalee shot him an apologetic smile and then hissed at them to lower their voices.

“Aw man, this is why we need Allen,” Lavi complained, slouching in his seat and stretching his legs out, shoving Kanda’s aside. “He’s good at getting us out of trouble.”

“Asshole,” Kanda hissed, and shoved his back in place, which started an abrupt and particularly violent game of footsie. Lenalee and Alma continued to chat, steadily moving the conversation away from Allen as the topic. Alma hadn’t told neither Lenalee nor Lavi what had happened, but a guilty churning in his stomach told him he should. He’d wait until Allen was back.

Homeroom was nearly over by the time Allen and Link re-appeared - with Allen looking particularly pleased. As they headed over and took Lenalee’s and Lavi’s empty seats, Lenalee commented, “It looks like someone ate the canary. What’re you so happy about? Something happen?”

Allen nodded, wearing a truly shit-eating grin. “Link got us out of gym!”

“What!” Alma cried. “How? I thought it was mandatory to have two years of gym!”

Allen smiled a closed-lip smile, looking even more smug and elbowed Link, and now that Alma was focusing on him he could tell the usual stern expression was actually dipping more into a… a pout? Lips slightly pursued and looked aside, ignoring Allen’s many pokes. “Link won’t tell me what he said to Mr. Lee. But, he also won’t tell me the secret ingredient he puts in his apple pies, so I’m not sure how bad it is.”

“Speaking of pies,” Alma piped up, gesturing towards Link. “His pancakes? The absolute best, like, I would make an altar to his pancakes. Right, Yuu?” Kanda’s lack of response was enough answer, and Alma beamed.

“Alma Karma!” Link cried, scandalized, pleased, embarrassed, and flushed all at once. Alma laughed.

“Wait, wait, how do you know about Link’s pancakes? Ooh, that sounds kinky for some reason - but no seriously. Where was I during this supposed pancake party?” Lavi demanded, and Lenalee tittered.

“It wasn’t a pancake party,” Link said stiffly, and Allen chuckled, leaning forward in his seat on his bent elbows.

“He’s embarrassed because you keep praising his pancakes,” Allen whispered with a treacherous grin in Link’s direction. The blond shuffled unhappily in his seat, casting a quick glare in Allen’s direction. They laughed, and Link flushed.

* * *

 

The bell rang, dismissing homeroom, and it was with light chatter that the group collected their bags and made to leave.

Allen was one of the last, preceded by Link, when Alma grabbed his elbow. Startled, Allen turned to face Alma, expecting a last joke or comment, but his easy smile died when he caught sight of Alma’s face.

There was no smile, or bright eyes, or even a pleasant expression at all. It was serious and stern, almost sad. Alarmed, Allen turned to full face Alma, and Link stopped, watching them curiously. Kanda stood just outside the doorway, watching Alma and Allen with a wary gaze. Past him, Allen met Lavi’s worried glance, and smiled and nodded towards the visible staircase in the hall. Lavi saluted him with a wary grin and left.

“Alma?” Allen asked, confused and worried. When he caught Fermi’s eye he smiled at Alma and grasped his forearm gently. “Do you want to tell me something? Let’s walk and talk, yeah?”

Alma hesitated, then nodded minutely, following Allen’s lead out the door and into the bustling hallway. Rushing from classes to lockers and back, no one took notice of the strange tension settling over their little group. Link stayed quiet, as did Kanda, and so Allen was left to figure out what had bothered Alma. They meandered in silence for a while, Allen heading towards Alma’s locker for lack of any other place to go.

“Allen,” Alma said, pausing as his face screwed up in something Allen was startled to recognize as anger. Had he done something wrong? “Allen, you remember how my parents reacted yesterday?”

Allen frowned, stomach churning uneasily. “How did they react?” He asked obliviously.

Alma’s lips twisted unhappily and he shot Allen a quick glare. “Don’t pretend you didn’t see it. They acted like you were back from the grave or something! When I got home… I promised you, right? I wouldn’t dig anymore? I didn’t!” He added hastily, even though Allen hadn’t made any notion - bad or good - at Alma’s confession. “But, when I got home, my mom said… to stay away from you. Dad said you were a curse. They said you were trouble…” _and that you would be gone soon._ The last part lingered in the air unspoken, and Allen felt his lips tilt up - a habit.

“Thank you for telling me this, Alma.” Allen’s voice was quiet in the small space between them, almost lost in the cacophony around them. Alma looked even more distraught. “But Edgar is right.”

Alma’s eyes widened, round and soft and mouth falling open. Allen watched mutely as his brows slowly drew up, lips trembling and drawing back. “What?” Alma breathed. _“What?”_ He said louder.

The warning bell rang, and Allen was grateful when Link came forward, a patient hand on his elbow. He smiled back at Alma. An apology. “I’ll see you later, Alma, Kanda!” He turned to include the other teen, but his smile faltered and fell at the stormy expression that greeted him. By sheer force of will he brought it back up, nodded at them both, and turned to leave with Link.

It felt awful to turn his back on Alma.

* * *

 

Study hall came much slower than Kanda could bear. He was tempted to just skip his classes until then - and almost did, but Alma caught him, then Lenalee did, and by then it was more effort than it was worth.

His anger was festering under his skin, boiling and roiling and burning him alive. He couldn’t stop his fingers from trembling, and more than one student flinched and ran to get out of his way, which was just as well, since he was liable to just snap and lose all patience.

Allen was such a mess. Alma was too, for that matter, but it was because Allen.

Allen’s quiet voice echoed in his head, over and over and over, until he almost wanted to ram his head against a wall to simply _stop_ the echoing.

_Edgar is right._

_I don’t matter._

_I’ll be gone soon._

Did Allen think they were stupid? The hell they were going to act all buddy-buddy after he dropped a bomb like that on them! He couldn’t expect them to actually ignore this and pretend nothing was wrong. That Allen disappearing again like last time - and Alma’s parents knowing! - was going to go over alright with them.

He slammed the door open into the classroom so hard it bounced off the wall and came swinging back. So he kicked it and forced it back open. He glared when the teacher opened her mouth, and she abruptly snapped it shut.

Allen and Link were already seated, and Kanda wasted no time in stomping over. Allen looked up at him, and Kanda seethed at the tired expression he wore. _He_ thought he was tired? _Kanda_ was tired of this never ending bullshit surrounding Allen and his fucking need to complicate shit. If he was going to lie all the damn time, couldn’t he be consistent about it?

But that would piss Kanda off too anyways, so either way Allen was getting on his last nerve.

“Yes, Kanda?” Allen asked, as though just seeing Kanda had made him bone-weary. He sounded as if he were on the last leg of a twelve hour shift and Kanda was a persistent customer. It infuriated Kanda even more to be treated this way - like an angry insistent child. Link had the blankest expression Kanda had seen on him yet.

But, Allen’s tired exhausted response drew Kanda up short and cut his warpath off. He shook off the strange reluctance and glowered down at Allen, ignoring the teacher clearing her throat.

“What did you mean that the doctor was right?” Kanda demanded shortly, focusing on Allen’s wary gaze.

“The doctor?” Allen tried, and Kanda hissed.

“Stop with that bullshit!” Kanda growled, swinging his bag onto the table with a loud thud and placing his hands on the table to lean over into Allen’s face. “You know exactly what I mean!”

Allen scowled, leaning away and glancing around the suddenly very curious classroom before meeting Kanda’s glare. “I don’t think this is quite the time for this,” Allen said with only the thinnest veneer of courtesy.

“I don’t give a fuck,” Kanda spat and felt a vicious surge of satisfaction when Allen almost snapped. He could see it in his heaving chest and flashing eyes, and in the bright color rising to his cheeks. “What?” Kanda ask, smirking. “You thought me and Alma would just roll over after that? That we would just ignore it?”

“Shut up,” Allen said.

“No. You’re telling us you’re going to leave again and think that’s the end of that conversation? Fuck,” Kanda breathed, laughing shortly and softly. “If that was going to be the case-”

“Shut up!”

“I wish you would’ve never came back!” Kanda snapped, and Allen was breathing heavily, eyes bright with anger.

“Fuck you, Kanda!” Allen slammed his hands onto the table, standing and sliding his chair back with an obscene sound of metal on tile. “I don’t owe you anything!”

“Yes you do!” Kanda yelled back, meeting his mounting rage with his own fiery anger. “If not for me, than at the least for Alma!”

Allen reared back and quieted, eyes wide and the fight immediately gone. Somehow, Kanda felt awful. When he saw Allen trembling, Kanda began to panic. “Hey, wait, you-”

“Shut up, Kanda,” Allen said, eyes flashing. “I know all this. You don’t think I do? You don’t have to rub it in my face and-” he laughed, dry, ugly and coarse. Kanda flinched. “-in front of everyone like this!” He rubbed a hand across his face, and though he wasn’t crying, it still felt like he was. “I can’t,” he said, stopped short, and then grabbed his bag and left, Link quickly hurrying after him.

Kanda remained standing, staring at the space Allen had been in. When he breathed, it seemed to flow into every crevice in his body, and he felt strangely empty. He’d gotten Allen to finally break the mask, to actually speak the truth for once.

So why did he feel so unfulfilled?

He dragged his bag off the table by a strap carelessly, slung it over his arm, and left the room without a word or backwards glance.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm starting a new project! I'll be creating Notes on my chapters and fics over on my tumblr [nea-writes] so that I can go into detail on research I did, reasoning behind character actions and reactions, missed reactions that a character POV didn't notice (for example, Lavi might notice someone's emotions where Kanda wouldn't, and while I would completely exclude that from the narrative it's something I still consider having occurred), as well as my reasons for turns of phrase, like Allen saying here "I've a hankering for some real food!" Is because I read that the English used to (?) say "I'm Marvin," instead of "I'm starving" because it rhymed with Hank Marvin, a singer who became associated with food for some reason. Except I also read that it was very cockney and I wasn't sure if Allen would say it - hence a very abbreviated form of it that Link doesn't quite understand even if he notices.
> 
> Except, I did all that research and thinking and I want to share these things with yall! Doesn't it round out the characters more? But, well, I don't want to clutter the notes with it, so if you're curious/interesting, you can find it over on my tumblr! I'll post them after the chapter itself is uploaded ^^

Lavi flicked off most of the lights in the apartment as he went, settling down for the night. School started up again tomorrow, and while he wanted to just cut loose for the last day of summer before being chained down for nine hours every day, Bookman had demanded a meeting tonight.

With a sigh Lavi grabbed a bottle of soda to nurse during the assuredly long-winded call and retreated to his room, pausing to notch the AC down a few degrees. It was hot as hell and even the cool drink wasn’t helping much. He slipped off his pants in the hallway to his room and sighed in relief at the immediate brush of cold air.

His room was messy, and a glance at the clock told him he had enough time to clean the space behind his desk before Bookman called. Settling the drink down, Lavi fiddled with his phone until his favorite playlist filled the empty silence in the apartment, then opened his laptop and waited until it fully awoke. He threw all his clothes in the laundry basket in his closet, shut the door, messily rearranged the comforter on his bed until it hid the rumpled sheets, after a moment’s thought fluffed the pillows, and then picked up all the books and papers scattered on his floor.

He had just placed the last book on a towering stack in one corner of his room that also served as a convenient stand for his coffee mugs when his laptop began to thrill. He dashed across the room, sipped his coke quickly, and shut his music off. Leaning to look at his reflection in a standing mirror, he deemed his appearance good enough, sat in front of the desk, and answered the video call.

“Hey, gramps!” Lavi said with good cheer, waving with one hand and then taking a sip of his drink with another. The old man was in a dim room, behind him a ready-made bed and a small lamp casting yellow light across it. He could hear the sound of rain in the background.

“I thought I told you to stop drinking that stuff,” Bookman said without preamble, zeroing in on the caffeinated beverage. Lavi laughed dryly and tilted the drink thoughtfully.

“Caffeine is my one vice!” He declared woefully, downed the rest of it, and flashed Bookman a grin. “With all the work you had me doing this summer, I  _needed_ it.”

“Speaking of work-” Bookman began, and Lavi pouted. The old man rolled his head and sighed gustily. “What? What is it, you whiny apprentice?”

“I haven’t even said anything!” Lavi said indignantly, then barreled on. “No ‘how’s your day’ or ‘have you been eating well’ or ‘are you excited for school tomorrow’?” Bookman grew more and more irritated with each demand, but before he could sternly tell Lavi to drop the act the teen laughed and continued. “I’m just joking old man. Got the jitters from all that caffeine, you know? So? What about work?”

“You stupid apprentice,” Bookman muttered and Lavi chuckled. “You have a new assignment.” He ignored Lavi’s groan of exasperation. “There will be a new student enrolling into your grade tomorrow, and you must watch him.”

“Watch him?” Lavi parroted, cocking a brow. He folded his legs into the seat and sat with them crossed. “That’s it, Panda? What should I watch him for? What’s his name?”

“His name is Allen Walker,” Bookman said, looking around briefly. From what Lavi could tell, he was in another hotel in God knows what country. Bookman traveled too much and too quickly to bother to tell Lavi every time he stopped or went somewhere different, but no matter where he was Bookman always called Lavi at the same time. Then again, they were used to lacking sleep. “The Order has already sent their own spy. Howard Link, a CROW, will be by his side at all times. Don’t catch his eye - that one may look docile but he’s more loyal than any dog.”

“Okay,” Lavi said, tapping a fingernail against the drink to hear it’s empty echo. “Can I know why I need to watch him? What should I look for?”

Bookman shook his head minutely. “He’s trouble… and he might change our very world. Right now they’re leaving him be until he finishes high school, and because General Cross has claimed him as his nephew - though in reality he’s actually his godson.”

“Cross?” Lavi choked out, eyes wide. “ _That_ Cross? Claimed a  _kid?_ What is this world coming to…”

“Its end,” Bookman said dryly, and Lavi laughed unkindly. “Watch that kid, Lavi. If you notice any… peculiarities, report it to me immediately, regardless of time. Understood?”

“Yes, sir!” Lavi said, saluting.

* * *

So he had watched Allen. Honestly, it hadn’t been the worst task Lavi had been saddled with, and Allen was a fun kid to be around, if a little scary. It’d been awhile since he’d met someone with such a good poker face that even he couldn’t get a read on them. Even worse, judging from Alma’s and Kanda’s reactions, this Allen wasn’t the same as the one that left. He wasn’t quite sure what to make of that, and Bookman’s lack of surprise hadn’t helped much either.

The kid’s white hair, red scar - Lavi knew it wasn’t a tattoo, no way something that messy at the edges could be one - and funny demeanor all were not “peculiar” enough for Bookman’s standards, either. Every mention Lavi had made so far had been shot down as ‘normal’, which begged to differ what, exactly, would finally be considered abnormal in regards to Allen.

Frankly, it made him nervous. This clearly dangerous looking kid who could disarm you with just a toothy grin had Bookman on edge and a CROW of all people on his tail. There had been some things he’d gleaned - trouble with his foster father Mana, a dedication to school work, and that Allen had never had a lot of friends, given how easily flustered he became. A thousand and one observations that led him to more questions than answers.

And, despite the mysteries and obvious warning signs surrounding the kid, Lavi couldn’t help but like him.

He was witty and sly, born with a forked silver tongue that Lavi could respect, but he was too kind to truly be cruel. He had a generous sense of humor, was down to play pranks and could rile Yuu up like no other. He was sweet to Lenalee, could bear down on them as bad as she could, and was always ready to lend a helping hand.

Allen’s game was making people like him, and he was damn  _good_ at it. Not even Yuu really disliked him, and Yuu disliked  _everyone._

Even having a CROW - detested by most Black Order members and the Bookmen were no exception - attached at his hip didn’t deter people from liking him, or him from making friends. He had more than enough charm to spread around - and the CROW being handsome certainly helped in that endeavor anyways.

All that being said, Lavi didn’t see what had Bookmen and the Order on edge. He was, quite simply, a kid. Cute, charming, funny as hell, but just a kid.

And that made Lavi all the more nervous, because if even he couldn’t see when he was being duped while  _knowing_ he was, then what more was this kid capable of?

And yet… and yet… still. Lavi couldn’t help but welcome Allen with a steady smile and ready laugh, because with Allen in their group he felt less like Bookman’s apprentice and more like the teenager he was supposed to be. And that was nice.

* * *

“Kanda did  _what?”_ Lenalee demanded, putting aside her food to level a glare at Yuu, who sat in his customary spot at the lunch table by Alma. He looked away from her stare, pursuing his lips.

Alma looked up from his phone, frowning severely and food still untouched despite having sat down almost whole ten minutes ago. That was quite the feat, given that Alma had an appreciation for food nearly as large as Allen’s, though he didn’t eat quite as much.

“Link texted me,” Alma started, nodding to Lavi as he came to sit down with his lunch tray, already munching on a banana. “That Yuu started yelling at Allen in study hall and made Allen cry.”

Yuu, who had just picked up some soba, split his chopsticks so fiercely the noodles went flying across the table towards Lavi, who yelped and ducked towards Lenalee. “He didn’t fucking cry,” Yuu spat, setting his chopsticks aside with a glare.

“That’s not what Link said - and anyways, would Allen  _really_ want to cry in front of you? Especially when you were already yelling at him?” Alma demanded, carefully placing his phone on the table with the screen still lit. Lenalee reached across for it, hand hovering over the phone as she met Alma’s eyes, asking for unspoken permission. Alma nodded distractedly, still focused on Yuu.

“Beansprout didn’t want to say anything. He never says anything. How the fuck am I supposed to know what’s going to make him cry if he never says anything?”

_“Intuition_ , Yuu!” Alma snapped back. “You get a goddamn read on his  _feelings_ like everyone else does when they talk to people! No one goes around saying in the middle of conversation - hey! You’re about to make me cry! - because those kinds of things go  _unsaid.”_

Yuu scowled. “Who the fuck makes up these rules?” He glared down into his soba, then reached for his chopsticks to shift the noodles around.

Lenalee looked up from Alma’s phone, having scrolled through all the recent messages. “Kanda,” she said, eyes dark. She handed Alma’s phone over to Lavi, who took it eagerly, and Yuu looked up to meet her glare.  _“I wish you would’ve never came back?_ Seriously? You seriously told him that?”

“Holy shit, that’s mean, Yuu,” Lavi breathed, glancing up with wide eyes from the phone’s screen.

Alma could see the moment Yuu lost his patience. It started in his fingertips, firmly setting the chopsticks down, and then in his shoulders, tense enough to break a blood vessel. It was hard to look past all of Yuu’s anger and threats of violence to see how much he really cared. How much he worried, and how hard it was for him to mind his own business. Others always took Yuu’s self-ingrained honor for granted.

“You don’t know us,” Yuu said cruelly, and Alma looked away. “You weren’t there - not when we were little, or when we met, or when he left. You just met him - you didn’t lose him.”

Lenalee blinked and then swallowed, before shaking her head. “You’re right. I don’t know him as well as you two do. I don’t know him as long, and I’m not as close to him, but even  _I_ know that yelling at him like this - in front of everybody! - isn’t the way to handle it! You hurt him, Kanda.”

Alma sighed, bone-weary and tired. It felt like the same problem over again, except this time it was with Yuu and not Alma. But, Alma didn’t want to go through the same motions again, receive the same gently rebuffed results, and end up in the same place they were now.

Lavi handed his phone back and Alma took it, looking back over at the messages. Link, for all his impassivity and pretend apathy, certainly could write very strongly worded texts when he felt moved enough to. Alma wondered exactly how bad Allen was. “Let’s go out!” Lavi said suddenly, and Alma looked back up, startled.

“Out?” Lenalee repeated, sounding incensed. Lavi nodded enthusiastically.

“Lil beansprout’s been gone for years, right? The town’s changed a lot since then! We should take him to our favorite place!” He sat back looking pleased with his declaration, and Lenalee thoughtfully tapped her chin, before turning a smile on him.

“I think that’s a great idea - if you can behave, that is.”

“What?” Lavi squawked indignantly. “I’m perfectly well-mannered! Why, I’m the best pooch you’ll find!”

“What are you even talking about?” Alma demanded. “Pooch? And, you almost got us kicked out last time Lavi!”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Lavi said petulantly, and Yuu finally started eating again. He slurped some of the noodles he always insisted on having, and Alma sighed in relief.

One down, another one to go.

* * *

Link glanced at the message on his phone, and then up to where Allen was morosely sitting beside him in the car, face set very blankly in a stubborn determination to hide his feelings. That kind of diligence had lessened over the year - even Allen couldn’t hold onto a facade for that long constantly. Still, he tried where he could, and despite having been angrily crying not an hour ago there was no sign of it on his face, except for a faint redness rimming the edges of his eyes.

“They’re asking if we’d like to go out,” Link said, forming the words with some difficulty. It felt… odd, to say it. He’d never ‘gone out’. Since before he could remember his life had been dictated first by necessity and then by Leverrier. Where would going out with friends have fit in that?

_They’re not your friends,_  his mind whispered cruelly, reminding him. They were Allen’s, not his. And even if only Bookman Junior knew who he really was, it didn’t matter that all of them felt wary around him. Link wasn’t there to make friends, he had to remind himself, no matter if Alma texted  _him_ to go out and not Allen first.

“Go out where?” Allen asked calmly, and only because Link was looking for it did he hear the bite of anger lingering there.

Link glanced back down at his phone. Alma had the frustrating tendency to send short-worded texts in bunches. Why couldn’t he just write all of it one single text? “To a diner down the road from the school - all of them would be going, he said.”

Allen sighed and leaned back into the seat, pressing his shoulders against it and rubbing his head along the headrest. He tended to do that a lot - he said he liked the feel of leather, but then he also did it against their decidedly  _not_ leather couches, so Link was sure he was lying. “Why not? We didn’t get lunch and I’m absolutely starving anyways. I’ve a hankering for some real food!” he said with a tilt in his tone. Link thought it was probably a joke that flew way over his head.

“If you’d like,” Link conceded, and turned to reply to Alma. That done, he pulled his seat belt on and turned the ignition on. Allen took the moment to plug the aux cord he insisted on leaving dangling from Link’s radio - “why bother removing it when I use it every time?” - into his phone and started one of his many playlists. Link had absolutely no idea where Allen got his music or how, since the boy was tighter with his wallet than an old matron, but there was always a new playlist and new songs Link didn’t care for.

Once Allen had asked and Link had replied he never listened to music at all, Allen seemed to have made it his personal mission to play every genre he could. Link indulged, since it left Allen quiet and him free of Allen’s fussing. The drive to the diner was short, and Allen spent the time distractedly pretending he was listening to the song. He tapped his thigh according the beat of the song, but he’d probably honestly stopped listening three songs back because the tapping became less musical and more anxiety-driven.

Link wanted to reach over and place his hand over Allen’s to just  _stop the tapping._ It made him terrible uncomfortable to see it. It was… unnatural.  _Tap tap tap tap tap tap._ Link knew it wasn’t just excess energy, either.

When Link pulled into the diner and parked, Allen squinted through the windshield. “Huh. They’re hiring. Maybe I should work here?”

“No.” Link said bluntly, frowning. “If you work here that means  _I_ have to work too.”

“You could just stay at home,” Allen observed and Link shot him a look.

“Oh really, and neglect my actual job? Not happening, Walker.”

Allen sighed, and a smile tugged at a corner of his lips. “Well. We’ll see, I guess. Come on, let’s go!”

Link suppressed a sigh and followed Allen out of the car, momentarily patting his pocket to double-check his wallet was there. Allen had a disturbing tendency to steal Link’s things and leave them somewhere Link could find them, but never in the place Link had first left them at. It was an annoying and strange game Allen liked to play.

A cool wash of air wafted over them when they stepped into the door of the diner, momentarily chilling Link. Allen shivered lightly, bounced his shoulders, and looked around. Link found Alma, Kanda, Lenalee, and Lavi waiting for them at a round table, and he tapped Allen’s shoulders briefly to catch his attention. He pointed towards them.

“Oh! There they are.” Allen led the way towards them, waving cheerily when he caught Lenalee’s gaze. “Hey!”

“Hey!” Lenalee said back, smiling brightly and nodding towards Link. He returned the gesture. Allen debated momentarily on where to sit. From left to right was Alma, Kanda, Lenalee, and Lavi, but there was more space on Alma’s side, and so with a very soft exhale Allen slid in next to Alma, Link following.

“Good afternoon,” Allen greeted lightly, and Lavi laughed.

“You’re such a gentleman,” Lavi snorted. “I’m never gonna get used to it!”

“Don’t tease him just because Allen has manners,” Lenalee admonished, tossing a smile at Allen. “Really, though, you’re always pretty polite. You can relax, you know?”

Allen shrugged with a smile, then reached for the menu casually, reading aloud the name of the diner. It always made Link uncomfortable to see how easily Allen deflected conversations and questions. It made him wonder how often Allen did it to him too, and how many times he fell for it or didn’t notice it.

“We already ordered drinks, but we were waiting to order our meal until you got here,” Alma piped up, bumping his shoulder with Allen’s. The movement forced Allen’s shoulder into Link’s and his brows dipped down. Lavi tittered behind a hand.

“That was nice of you, thank you,” Allen replied for the both of them, and Link frowned even more. “What are you ordering?” Allen asked him, and Link looked down the find he had no menu. In fact, there was a menu for all of them  _but_ Link. Noticing this, Allen held the menu between them.

A delicious parfait caught his eye, and he resolved to eat a small meal in return for a large dessert. The waiter came by then, flirted outrageously with Allen who returned it with a sleight of hand, dimpled smile and lowered lashes, and gave his and Link’s orders easily. Everyone else followed.

When the waiter left a quiet fell over them that Alma broke. “You know, Allen, I’ve got this feeling…”

“Yes?” Allen encouraged.

“...did you just flirt with that waiter to get a free dessert?”

Allen laughed and Link snorted. “Of course he did,” Link said. “He always does.”

“Always?” Kanda finally spoke, and because Link was sitting shoulder to shoulder with Allen he could feel how tense he grew.

“Every time we go out to eat, at least,” Link amended.

“Shh, shh! Link, stop! Don’t tell them my secrets!” Allen waved his hand furiously and put a finger to his lips and Lenalee laughed delightedly.

“Oh Allen, you’re such a gentleman, and then you’re  _not.”_

“I don’t see any of you getting free dessert,” Allen said snidely, and Link had to admit he was right.

Suddenly, Link was terribly worried they would bring up the fight between Kanda and Allen. He didn’t want to see that again, no matter how information-loaded it was. Allen had been in hysterics, shouting and stopping short and chest heaving, eyes wide as they whirled on Link with the worst look of betrayal. It felt, in the instance when he met Allen’s wide gray eyes reflecting his own worried expression, that Link had been the one to yell and scream at him. He didn’t understand the squeezing in his heart and the way his stomach dropped with dread and guilt. He had nothing to feel guilty for whatsoever. From the get-go Allen had known Link was there under orders - there had been no lies or secrecy.

So why did Link feel so guilty? Why did Allen look so betrayed?

And, not even just that, there was also the very sad, lonely, look Allen wore sometimes. Like now, when he smiled at Lavi with emptiness in his eyes - it felt like Link himself had dipped a jagged metal spoon and scoured all the happiness from within Allen, dumping it aside.

He met Alma’s stare over Allen’s head as the boy joked with Lavi, and shook his head lightly.  _Please,_ he thought.  _Please don’t bring it up. I just brought him back down, don’t send him careening into hysterics again. For today, just for tonight, let him stay in peace._

Alma met his eye and smiled slightly, nodding. It was the polite kind of smile you gave strangers on the street and the mothers of children who had spilled ice cream on your shirt - the polite “it’s okay” that really wasn’t.

“And so I told Ms. Nyne ‘what? Baby, you know we can’t be together! That’s breaking school rules'!”

Link blinked and faced Lavi, scowling. “No, that is not what you said,” Link started, feeling Allen shaking with laughter beside him. “If I remember correctly - and I’m sure  _you_ do - you said, ‘Baby, I know you want me!”

Allen fell into hysterics of another kind, along with Lenalee and Alma, too. “What?” Link asked, frowning.

“You- you,” Allen heaved.

“You can’t say ‘baby’, Link!” Alma chortled from Allen’s other side. “It sounds so weird coming from you!”

“You totally ruined my joke,” Lavi whined and Allen snorted while Link scowled at him, offended.

“It’s total bullshit,” Kanda said bluntly, and Link felt justified. “Isn’t that why you have detention this Friday?”

Lavi groaned dramatically, leaning heavily onto Lenalee. “I know!” He moaned. “Isn’t it terrible? Won’t you come with me, Yuu?”

“Fuck no!” Kanda snapped. “And don’t call me that you stupid rabbit!”

“Whatta bout you, Alma?” Lavi begged, inflicting a puppy face that Link privately thought looked awful. It didn’t help that Allen sometimes did it and that it even worked on Link. It was a weakness Link had never thought he’d need to address.

Alma scoffed. “You’re out of your mind if you think I’m voluntarily going to detention for you - _but,_  if you be our model for art class  _maybe_ I’ll change my mind. The teacher asked if I could find someone!”

“You drive a hard bargain, Alma Karma,” Lavi bemoaned, and Allen shifted to face Alma.

“Are they paying?” He asked.

Alma snorted in laughter. “As if! This is just a high school art class. Why? If they were, would you do it?”

“Paint me like one of your french girls!” Lavi said suddenly.

“Oooh,” Lenalee murmured. “I kind of want to watch it now. The Titanic, I mean. But watching Allen model seems fun too!”

“Beansprout would kill for money,” Kanda said derisively, and Link grimaced.

“Absolutely.” Allen responded seriously. “In fact, I have a few hits out for you personally, Kanda. Maybe I should cash in now?”

“Try me,” Kanda hissed, and then their food came.

It took a bit of shuffling around to accommodate all of Allen’s ordered food, and as Allen gleefully began to dig in Link noticed how much happier he looked. All the tension in his shoulders had bled out, and his earlier cry was barely even noticeable now, just a hint of red that Link was even trying to find in the first place. Of course, Allen was always happy with food, but Link thought the company helped a lot.

“You’re such a worry-wart, Link,” Lenalee suddenly commented, and Link looked away from Allen to stare at her, startled.

“What?”

“You never look away from Allen,” Lenalee said with warmth in her eyes, and Link flushed, absolutely horrified.

It was his  _job_ to watch Allen. He had to. But the way Lenalee said it… the way her, Alma, and Kanda must take it…

Alma swallowed his bite of food and laughed raucously. “You should’ve seen them in their apartment! Link literally dotes on Allen  _so much._ Allen wants pancakes? Link makes them. Allen’s cold? Link gets him a cover. Allen needs eye drops? He doesn’t even  _say anything_ and Link goes and grabs them. It’s the best, I swear.”

Link could feel the blush spreading across his cheeks to his ears, down his neck, making him woozy-head. “I- no- you don’t- wait-” He placed his fingertips at his temple and could feel the furious pound of his heartbeat there.  _Oh my God no._

“Stop embarrassing him,” Lenalee chastised.

“He looks like he’s about to pass out,” Kanda muttered.

Lavi was cackling. “Oh my God I think I’m about to piss on myself - you’re so screwed Link.”

_Shut up Bookman Junior,_ Link thought scathingly but couldn’t make himself say.

“It’s nothing like that guys,” Allen said, and Link felt even more flushed hearing his voice. He… he didn’t misunderstand, did he? Link had always made it very clear he was there for work, that he was close to him purely because of his job…

“That’s just the way Link is - he’s really observant and very kind. He likes to bake, for himself and for others, and he likes to help. It just so happens we live together that I get most of it,” Allen laughed lightly, and then, “He’s really very sweet.”

_You’re not helping, Walker!_ Link thought angrily as his blush tripled. He felt terrible. He felt like he wanted to crawl into a hole and just disappear. He was seriously debating the merits of just simply walking away and maybe all the way back to their apartment.

And did it really look like that? Like he was…  _doting_ on Allen? He wasn’t really, was he? He thought back, to when Allen was drunk and he gave him water, when Allen woke up every morning and every morning Link slowly brought him back. When they stood lazily in the bathroom, brushing their teeth side by side. When Link knew Allen’s favorite movies and songs and when he played old classics it was because he was thinking of Mana.

He shivered violently, feeling dread. Was he crossing the line? Was he going too far? How far was too far when he was supposed to be watching and tearing the enigma that was Allen Walker slowly apart? Had he already long since crossed it? When? Where?

Leverrier hadn’t mentioned anything… but Link knew well that he was the type who found that the end justified the means. If Link became a casualty - even if only emotionally - it would be no hindrance to Leverrier so long as Link continued to work well, and Link knew himself. Knew that even if he came to regard Allen on the same level as his found family he would still follow Leverrier’s word, being both duty and honor bound.

They had long since moved on, teasing Alma about some earlier incident Link hadn’t been privy too. Allen was grinning hard enough to dimple on one side. They weren’t as obvious as Alma’s, who could just quirk the tiniest of smiles and dimple on both cheeks, but it was there when Allen smiled a certain way.

Link looked away, biting his lip. If he had crossed the line… if he had gotten too close…

Link would simply have to force himself back.

* * *

They all left the diner in relatively high spirits, just as someone was walking in. Allen stumbled back, catching the much smaller person in his arms as his back hit the closing door behind him.

“Oh, I’m so sorry I- Road?” He looked down in shock as the brunette blinked large golden eyes at him. A huge grin split her face, and in the few inches between them she found the space to leap up and throw her arms around his neck. Allen staggered back a step, pressing entirely against the door as he automatically wrapped his arms around her waist to hold her properly, fearing he might get strangled in the process if he didn’t. Her dress - some huge fluffy fluttering thing - caught between his legs and bunched under his arms, and he could practically feel the heat of his friends’ stares. Alma gasped.

“Al-len!” She yelled into his ear, hugging him so tight he choked. She nuzzled into his hair roughly, pulling at the strands. “Wow Allen! I didn't expect to see you this soon! I was going to surprise you at school and everything!” She leaned back in his arms and Allen was eternally grateful she was so light. She pouted and bent one arm back to bop him on the nose with a finger. “Why did you have to come to this diner? Now my surprise is ruined!”

“I’m sorry Road,” Allen said dryly. “If I had known you were coming, I would’ve definitely stayed away.”

“You are terribly sarcastic, boy,” someone said, and Allen looked away from Road to find Tyki a few feet away, characteristic cigarette hanging from his lips and hair inky and curling. He took it away to exhale, and leveled a glittering smile at Allen. “Long time no see.”

“Long time no see,” Allen replied numbly, looking back to Road and suddenly realizing what their appearance meant. It was the third watchdog, come to finally get its own bite in him.

Road giggled, squeezing her arms. “I missed you a lot, Allen!”

 


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For my non-American friends, Labor Day is a national holiday that always falls on the first Monday of September - schools all take a break for the day, so many celebrate the extended weekend in a variety of ways. It’s also considered the end of summer. For timeline purposes, Allen and co started school sometime in late August.

When Allen woke up he found Link staring at him. He frowned, wondering why he was sitting up already. He glanced at the window and found sunlight streaking in, still bright. It was Tuesday and he could feel the jet lag biting at his bones and weighing on his skin. Link had no mercy and was still forcing them to go to school even though they got back closer to morning on Tuesday than night on Labor Day.

He rubbed at his eyes and yawned, arching his back into a stretch as his hand lazily slapped around for his phone on the night stand. Four texts, two calls, and one email. Sighing he set the phone on his lap and finally registered the fact that Link was sitting on the edge of his bed, frowning at him. His hair was down around his shoulders and a hair tie was snapped around his wrist.

“You take a long time to wake up,” Link commented, shifting back and running his fingers through his hair, deftly parting it. “It’s time for you to get up.”

Allen yawned again. “Can’t we stay home? I feel like I haven’t slept for three years!”

“So do I,” Link said dryly, tying off the braid. “But no, we can’t. If we do, Alma Karma is going to freak out.”

Allen giggled breathlessly through his yawn. Link saying “freak out” was strangely odd and funny, and that his first concern was Alma was even funnier. He rolled his shoulders and Timcanpy flew over from their open bedroom door, perching on his nose. Allen stared cross-eyed at him. “Good morning, Tim,” he said, reaching to grab the golem. “You must be bored all the time, huh?”

Link snorted as he stood from the bed. “You’re more polite to a golem than to me?”

“To be fair,” Allen said, shifting to sit on the edge of the bed. “He said it to me first.”

“He can’t talk.”

“Don’t say that in front of him!” Allen gasped, covering where Tim’s ears could possibly be. Link rolled his eyes and left the room. A moment later the sink turned on, and Allen turned back to his golem with a smile. “Tim, why don’t you go bother Link? He’s being a bit odd this morning.”

Timcanpy fluttered his wings, flew around Allen’s head, and then darted off towards Link. Allen took the time to dress. He used to be very aware of Link’s presence when they would change, but that awareness had died down into a casual notice. Link didn’t care about his arm or hair - or rather, he’d never made much mention of it, aside from telling Allen that some white shirts still bled red through. It was strangely… comforting, to be treated so normally. Still, he tried to dress as often as he could with Link outside the room.

He had just finished buttoning his shirt when Link stepped back in, placing Tim on his shoulder and pulling his hair tie out. “Did you teach Tim to always sit on my head? It’s a pain to constantly re-do my braid, you know.”

“I didn’t teach Tim that,” Allen said with a laugh, reaching for his gloves to stuff in a pocket. “He does it on his own. I think he learned it from doing it to me, though.”

“Hmph,” Link said, and turned on his heel towards the kitchen. Allen stood still, just simply breathing in the quiet. Then he heard the clanging of pans as Link started breakfast, and Allen unlocked his phone.

He thumbed to his messaging app and found two texts from Alma, one from Kanda, and one from Lenalee.

_ Alma: Uuuugh school starts again tomorrow… what did u do? _

_ Alma: For labor day i mean. Did u do anything different? Wait did link make a pie?? _

_ Kanda: Hey idiot _

_ Lenalee: hey Allen I was wondering if you could give me a ride this morning? My brother left early and Lavi can’t grab me _

What the hell? Scowling, Allen replied quickly to Kanda, then an affirmative to Lenalee and finally in detail to Alma with a sad news that, no, there had been no pie. Unfortunately.

Just as he finished the text to Alma his phone buzzed with a message from Kanda. He quickly switched over to it.

_ Kanda: We need to talk _

Scowling, Allen wrote his reply.

_ Kanda: Just shut up and meet me after school with the damn dog _

Allen frowned, confused. Dog, dog, what dog did he know? When it came to him he snorted, sent a quick _ok,_ and left to the kitchen to find his breakfast, checking his call log as well.

_2 missed calls_

_1 missed call from_

_Tyki Mikk at 2:26 am_

_1 missed call from_

_Alma Karma at 4:45 am_

He sat at the kitchen table, confused. Tyki he could understand the odd hour call from because none of the Noah ever fell under the category of normal, however Alma’s call made no sense.

“You’re going to have back problems if you keep staring down at your phone like that,” Link said, startling Allen into jumping and dropping his phone onto the table with a noisy clatter. “Here, eat quickly, we’re running late.”

“Link,” Allen said exasperatedly. He looked at his phone. “It’s still almost an hour until school starts, we’re _not_ running late.”

“Just because you have a love-hate relationship with time doesn’t mean I do,” Link said bluntly, and Allen looked down at his pancakes with a pout, before he grinned.

“Pancakes again, huh Link? That wouldn’t have anything to do with the endless praise Alma gave you, would it?”

Link scowled even as he blushed, quickly denying any sort of influence over his cooking inclinivities because _I have a cookbook I adhere too, thank you very much._

Allen didn’t tell him that he followed Link’s food diary, nor that there was a noticeable trend over the past few months. He drowned his pancakes covered in sliced fruit and whip cream with syrup, cut it neatly, and ate it all.

* * *

Despite Link’s worries and aggravation over the change in schedule, they had more than enough time to pick Lenalee up on their way to school and still make it there long before the rest of the student body did. Lenalee left to tell her brother she’d made it safely, and Allen took to walking slowly down the hall towards their homeroom.

Allen was recently beginning to notice that he normally heard Alma long before he actually saw him. It was a soft build-up in the distance that grew closer and louder until Alma tackled him with a bear hug that nearly threw Allen face-first onto the floor. If he hadn’t quickly adjusted for the sudden weight on his back Allen would be much more acquainted with the dirty tiles than he wanted to be.

“Allen!” Alma sang, much like people do with _tah-daaaah!_

“Almaaa!” Allen said in kind, though more of a groan of pain than a song. He yelped when Alma breathed in deeply behind his ear, shifting hairs. “What are you _doing?”_

“You smell like syrup,” Alma claimed and then turned towards Link, still clinging to Allen. Kanda finally made it to them, having too much dignity to run and throw himself at people like Alma. “Link!” Alma said with a whine. “You made pancakes and you didn’t bring me any?”

“Why on earth,” Link began dryly in a tone of voice that sounded more exasperated than how pleased he really looked. “Would I bring pancakes to school just for you?”

Alma gasped in mock pain. “You wouldn’t just for me? I thought this relationship meant something to you!” Alma wailed, throwing himself further onto Allen in his woe. Allen scowled and tried to wiggle him off.

Link looked distressed, and Allen could see he was trying to politely tell Alma they were not friends because Link could not _make_ friends with Allen’s friends. “He’s joking, Link,” Allen said. “Unless you two are secretly going around behind our backs to date and eat pancakes?”

Link choked and Alma laughed. “That’s sounds like an ideal relationship. How about it, Link?”

“Absolutely not,” Kanda said, cutting in and removing Alma from Allen. He sighed in relief - Alma could be _clingy._ “Beansprout would die of starvation.”

Brightening, Allen batted his eyelashes at Kanda, who cringed and grimaced, like he knew exactly what was coming. “Awww, _Kanda!”_ He coo-ed, drawling the last syllable in his name. “I didn’t know you cared!”

“I don’t,” Kanda said gruffly, scowling. “Go choke on the dog’s pancakes!”

Allen laughed and Alma tapped his chin thoughtfully, leaning an elbow on Kanda’s shoulder. It reminded Allen how close in height they were, and how much shorter Allen was - and therefore Link as well. “That sounds wrong somehow,” Alma said, and Link colored, though if it was in anger at Kanda’s comment or in embarrassment at Alma’s, Allen couldn’t tell.

Link sternly suggested they get to class before the late bell rang, and Alma giggled before complying, dragging Allen along by the arm with Link and Kanda faithfully tagging along a step behind. Allen’s chest swelled again with emotion - he wasn’t used to this. To casually having groups of friends around him, walking with him, tailing him, being so thoughtlessly touched and held - like hugging Allen was normal.

“You’re blushing again,” Alma teased, and Allen blushed harder.

Kanda scoffed. “You’re even worse than before,” he accused, and Allen worked up a scowl.

“Before?” Link asked curiously, fishing. Allen shot him a look, and Link replied with one of his thrice-damned raised eyebrows.

“Mm-hm,” Alma said, nodding thoughtfully as they neared their classroom. “See, back when Allen had red hair we used to always tease him about it. He was always so red in the face, too! It was like the oddest things set him off, like, look, see-” Alma reached out and grasped Allen around the neck and sides, pulling him into an intimate hug, the kind you felt stole your breath and pulled you tight, pinning Allen’s arms to his sides. “See? Red as a tomato!”

“Alma!” Allen hastily pulled himself away, flushed to his roots and eyes darting around to all the curious students milling nearby. Kanda looked faintly surprised, and Link far too interested. Allen tugged Alma into their classroom and made a bee-line for their seats where Alma sat with another laugh and Allen followed suit, fiddling with the strap of his bag. “...my hair wasn’t that red,” he finally said, thoughtful. It’d been more brownish than vivid - less than Cross’, that was for sure. Or Lavi’s. “It was more like clay.”

“Clay?” Kanda said with distaste.

“I thought it was more like, hmm… hey, Yuu, what’s that color? It’s red but it’s brown, burnt something…”

“Burnt umber,” Kanda said promptly, and Alma snapped his fingers.

“Yeah! That! Burnt umber!”

Allen had no idea what they were talking about, and Alma proceeded to wax poetic on the exact shade and style Allen’s hair had been. It made Allen self-conscious, and he reached up to fiddle with a strand of hair by his cheek, pinching it and trying to imagine the old color. He wondered, briefly, what he would look like if he had been normal. Like before. Before Mana took him away and before Mana went away.

“What are you thinking about?” Kanda demanded suddenly, and Allen jerked in surprise, hands dropping to his desk. He turned to find Kanda staring intensely at him, Alma’s chatter stopping short as he also focused on Allen.

What had Allen been thinking about? Allen let his lips curve into a grin, coy and sly. “Kanda if you keep this up, I’m going to have to start questioning you whenever you say you hate me. You sure do worry a lot about someone you ‘hate’!”

“Fucking beansprout!” Kanda snapped, shooting from his seat to reach over and grab Allen. Allen laughed delightedly, let Kanda grab him by his shirt collar and jerk him up, let Alma and Link tug them away, let Kanda think that this was a simple argument.

What had he been thinking of?

* * *

 

Allen had luckily evaded the usual ‘what did you do over break’ conversation until lunchtime, when inevitably it was their first time all together long enough to actually talk. He considered, for a moment, actually ditching lunch, but the siren call of food was too strong to ignore, so he resigned himself to sitting at the table with his friends, nerves thrumming in anticipation.

He busied himself eating through his lunchboxes as the rest of their friends trickled in. They took an entire rectangular table on their own, and over the past few weeks it had easily become _their_ spot. It was almost always empty, and after Kanda had nearly made a couple of students piss their pants when he found them there, no one else had tried to take it again.

Allen shook his head in amusement at the memory, prompting Link to send him a questioning look that Allen waved away. They sat nearly always in the same spots, Allen and Kanda claiming the ends of the table with Lenalee and Lavi on one side and Alma and Link on the other. Alma always sat by Kanda and Link by Allen, though Lenalee and Lavi switched spots depending on who felt like indulging Kanda’s temper. Sometimes Allen and Link switched spots, but today wasn’t one of those times.

“Oh,” Lenalee said. “My brother wanted to thank you for giving me a ride this morning - he said he was sorry to put you on the spot like that.”

Allen laughed. “It was no trouble at all! It was on the way, really.”

“Still,” Lenalee continued, smiling. “Thank you, and to you too, Link.”

Link looked startled at being addressed, and he hesitantly inclined his head.

“So,” Lavi began, chewing through a burger and ignoring Lenalee’s admonishments about talking with his mouth full. “What did y’all do for break?”

“What?” Allen asked, frowning. “Not much,” he said, digging his foot into Link’s ankle. Link simply scowled into his food.

Then, to Allen’s relief, someone called his name. He half-turned in his seat to face them only to be bombarded by cloth and warm skin, pre-teen arms wrapping around his neck and soft lips pressed against his cheek.

“Allen!” Road thrilled, adjusting herself on Allen’s lap to better keep her hold around his neck. Allen valiantly tried not to choke his food back up in surprise. It took him a moment, and he stared at her, aghast.

“Road!” He said, less than thrilled. “What are you _doing?”_

Road giggled and swayed side to side, forcing Allen to move along with her. “Hmm? I’m saying hi, you silly!” Link scowled when Allen tilted to close to his elbow, jerking his food from his hands. Road peered over Allen’s shoulders and frowned when she noticed Link. “You still haven’t shook off this stalker, Allen?”

“No more than I have you, Road,” Allen said tiredly, grabbing the table to stop Road from moving them. He hesitated to meet his friends’ eyes, just _knowing_ there was going to be endless teasing from them. “Anyways, I was asking more along the lines of why you were saying hi from my _lap.”_

“That’s another silly question!” Road said, tapping Allen on the nose and grinning when he scrunched it up. She kissed him there and he reared back. “Because I loooove you!” She laughed, leaning back with her hands still clasped behind Allen’s neck. Her thumbs moved forward, encircling his throat, and Allen suddenly felt glad that he had not given into the impulse to just shove her off. Road was volatile, and God knows what she’d do if he kept rejecting her this way.

“Road, please stop trying to choke me,” he said patiently, and Road laughed again, moving her thumbs away. She let go with one hand, tracing the scar on his cheek curiously. He repressed a shiver, her polished nails far too close to his eyes for comfort.

“This must’ve hurt, huh?” She asked, and Allen met her eyes. She sounded sincere and sad, and Allen somehow felt that while everything else had been a joke, this time she was serious.

“Yes,” he said simply, watching her.

The moment passed, and Road turned from Allen to face the rest at the table, golden eyes glittering once again. Keeping up with her was always so tiring, Allen reflected.

“You got away so quickly last time Allen that you didn’t even introduce your friends to me!” Road said, tightening her remaining hand around his neck. Allen winced, and finally looked away from her to glance around the table.

Lenalee was slightly pink in the cheeks though her brows were furrowed, and Allen could practically see her trying to make the connection that Allen might have with a seeming eleven year old. Not that Road was actually eleven, but for all intents and purposes she certainly looked it, and Allen was suddenly struck with the image of how it must look like to have an eleven year old sitting in his lap.

“If you get off me, I’ll tell you,” Allen bargained, his neck burning under the embarrassment. Oh God, he could just imagine all the rumors now.

“Yeah, get the fuck off him,” Kanda snapped, and Allen jerked in surprise, jostling Road. She frowned and met Kanda’s vicious glare with one of her own.

“And who’re _you?”_ She demanded, twisting to properly face Kanda, one hand coming to rest on the table with a clack of her nails.

“None of your fucking business,” Kanda said, and Alma grabbed his arm, frowning. Kanda shook him off. “You’re too old to be sitting in his lap like some damn overgrown toddler. Get the fuck off.”

“Kanda!” Lenalee said in dismay. “She’s like eleven! Don’t curse at her like that!”

Kanda didn’t even look away from Road’s eyes, and Allen realized with sudden alarm that Kanda, though often idiotic and stupid, wasn’t _actually_ brain-dead like Allen claimed most of the time. Kanda especially would notice something off about Road.

“She wants to sit with the big kids,” Kanda said slowly, “then I don’t have to censor myself. Get the hell off him before I make you.”

“Oh really,” Road said with a gleaming smile, teeth white and startling on her tanned face. It looked feral, dangerous. The hand still on Allen’s neck curled in, nails pressing into Allen’s skin until one of them actually broke skin and dug in. He winced, his left hand shooting up to grab at it instinctively.

Like lightning Link shot forward and grabbed Road’s hand, yanking it away from Allen’s neck. Road whirled around in surprise and jerked her hand back. She cradled it to her chest, and Allen wondered if Link had used more force than really necessary.

“Oh I see,” Road said softly, and Allen stilled. “You really are charming, Allen.”

Lavi shifted forward, capturing their attention as he waved a lazy hand in the air. “Umm? How about you introduce us to your friend there, eh Allen?”

“Oh!” Allen said. “Oh, yeah. This is Road Kamelot. Road, these are my friends, Lavi,” he said, nodding towards the red-head and then going around the table from there. “Lenalee, Kanda, Alma, and you know Link.”

“Hello,” Road said politely, and Allen felt the absurd urge to laugh.

“I’ve introduced them, so can you get off my lap now?” Allen asked, and Road giggled before complying. She was so short that even while standing she only came up to about Allen’s sitting height. The perfect height for her to wrap her arms around Allen’s shoulders, he mused as she resumed her hug.

“I came to tell you something, Allen,” Road said into his ear and he resisted the impulse to jerk away. Road could feel the jolt in his shoulders and she bent one arm on his shoulder to soothe his hair with her hand. “I’m not the only one here.”

“There’s more of you?” Kanda grumbled, and Alma choked on a laugh.

Road ignored him. “Wisely and Jasdevi came too.”

“Wisely?” Allen despaired, closing his eyes. It wasn’t that he disliked Wisely, but it was that he disliked Wisely. He couldn’t describe it. Wisely could be pleasant and good fun to be around but then he laid waste to your mental health by shattering it all with a handful of careless words. A textbook sociopath, Allen thought. Someone you liked and hated in turns.

“Daddy said if I was coming to this ‘godforsaken school’ then they had to come with me. Tyki too!” She said, popping Tyki’s name cutely on each syllable. “They’re all _so_ excited to see you, Allen!”

“I’m not,” he said morosely and Road laughed. He felt her turn to face somewhere behind him, and distantly Allen could hear someone call her name.

“Oh, they want me to come back. Wait till I brag about the cute sophomore I got to kiss!” Road said cheerfully, pressing another kiss to his cheek before skipping off, waving at his friends gamely. Allen scowled the moment she was gone, rubbing at his cheek.

Link grabbed a napkin to wipe at the blood staining the back of his neck and his collar, and Allen mourned the loss of another shirt. When Link sat back and folded the napkin to toss later, Alma and Lenalee gasped.

“Oh my God,” Alma said, leaning around Link to snag the napkin from the spot between Link and Allen. He unfolded it and his fingers clenched at the napkin so tightly it ripped at the ends slightly. “She did this to you?” Alma demanded, voice dark like thunder in storm clouds.

Allen shrugged uncomfortably, looking away. Kanda snatched the napkin to look at it, eyes darting up to Allen as if he could see the back of his neck if he stared hard enough. “Turn around,” he ordered, and Allen scowled.

“No.”

“Beansprout, _turn around.”_

Lavi grabbed Allen by the shoulders and twisted him far enough that half of his body faced the right entirely. Lenalee gasped, and Link helpfully moved stray hairs from the back of Allen’s neck. They were clumped together, and Link’s fingers came away with blood just beginning to dry.

“I can’t believe you let a kid do that to you,” Kanda said, and Allen felt the last of his patience snap.

“And what would you have had me done? Hurt her back? I couldn’t do that, Kanda!”

“Sure as hell shouldn’t have let her do that to you!” Kanda snapped, and he dropped the red stained napkin in disgust.

“Why did she do that?” Lenalee asked, and Allen wondered if even Road knew why.

“I don’t know,” Allen replied, instead of the immediate answer he’d thought.

Unfortunately, Link wasn’t as fond of Kanda as Allen was, and he didn’t hold back. “Kanda aggravated her, so she hurt him where she knew it’d hurt best.”

Alma stared wide-eyed at the red on Allen’s neck. “She did that because of Kanda?”

Kanda grimaced, and Allen jerked his shoulders from Lavi’s tight grip, brushing his hair back over the nail marks and then dusting the flakes of blood clinging to his fingertips. “It doesn’t matter why she did it. Road is volatile, and so is the rest of her family. Don’t piss them off and they won’t do anything.”

“You mean, don’t piss them off and they won’t do anything to _you,”_ Lavi said, eyes staring distantly. “Because that’s what’ll happen, won’t it? We piss them off and they’ll retaliate by hurting you.”

Allen shied away from the answer, shaking his head. Before he could respond, Alma cut in, eyes flashing like fire and lip curling. “Who are they? Who are they that they can hold themselves above everyone like they’re God? Why can they hurt you and you won’t do anything?”

Alma was asking for a truth Allen couldn’t give, so he smiled instead. “She’s just a kid - how could I hurt her? Besides, her dad spoils her terribly - telling him won’t change a thing.”

“How do you even know her?” Lavi asked. “It sounds like they just moved into town or something, yet y’all know each other well enough for her to sit on your lap and kiss you.”

“The way you say it, makes me sound like a criminal,” Allen grumbled. “And it was just on the cheek!”

“And the nose,” Link added, grunting when Allen dug his elbow into Link’s side.

Lavi, however, wasn’t done. “Sure pissed off Kanda and Alma though,” he said with a leer and a wag of his eyebrows. Allen frowned at the insinuation, glancing up at Kanda and Alma who both looked unhappy at being called out this way.

“Come on guys, it’s nothing,” Allen said, ignoring the burning gaze he felt on the back of his head. Road was staring at him, he was sure. Or maybe it was the gaggle of girls Road claimed she’d brag to. “Lunch is almost over, and I’m not even halfway done with my food yet!”

“A miracle,” Link muttered, and Allen forced a laugh.

* * *

Lenalee sat in a swivel chair in Komui’s office, waiting for her brother to finish his work so they could go home. She’d walk her friends out from their building and then detour to the administration building once they’d left. Most of the time she spent the wait finishing her homework, except she didn’t have any yet, today being the first day back after break. She spun in her chair.

“Little sister, what’s bothering you?” Komui asked, shuffling through papers and then signing a few.

“Nothing much,” she said in lieu of the opposite answer, which was too much. “How much longer until you’re done?”

Komui hummed, thumbed through a stack of papers and files sitting to his left on his desk and then glancing at his clock. “Another hour or so, why?”

“Would you like some coffee?”

“My beautiful sweet darling little sister! What did I do to get blessed with you?”

Lenalee laughed as she stood, straightening her skirt with a brush of her hands. “More like what did I do to get stuck with you!”

“Oh, you wound me, Lenalee!” Komui cried dramatically, clutching at his chest in mock pain. She giggled as she left his office to find a nearby lounge, starting a fresh new pot for her brother and the secretaries still lingering. Theirs was a huge academy, with multiple sports, academic, and cultural clubs, not to mention all the grades and sheer number of students. It made for long busy hours at the office, and Lenalee was also stuck staying those hours. Track didn’t really have a lot of practices yet, though those would pick up soon, so she spent that time helping her brother, doing her homework, texting friends or even snooping through student files.

Speaking of!

When she walked back into Komui’s office, the question on the tip of the tongue had to do with Road Kamelot’s new transfer, but suddenly a thought occurred to her.

They never did find out what Allen and Link had done for Labor Day weekend.

Somehow, even though it was really an inconsequential thing and could easily be passed off as they had done nothing of importance, it felt to Lenalee that Allen had actively avoided the question. In fact, Allen avoided a lot of questions.

She frowned as she served her brother a cup. She mused for a moment about asking her brother, but the question was too strange and sudden, and anyways, why would Komui know anything in the first place? It’s not like the students had to report to the school if they went on vacation during their break.

Yet, she still felt that Allen was hiding something. Call it intuition, or maybe she had picked up on something during the day that she’d ignored at the time, but there was _something_ there, and Lenalee was determined to find out.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not gonna lie, this chapter took me an entire month. For reasons. My good friend Pea made a playlist that I'll link later ^^ 
> 
> Also here's the [Noah's house,](http://www.eplans.com/house-plans/epl/catalog/product/quickview/product/20551/categoryid/none/referrer/pdp/expand/1/) if you're curious.
> 
> Edit: I added about 1k because I forgot some things....[some important things](http://31.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m49ph2TLzT1r9a8hbo1_500.gif)...

 

Somehow, someway, Allen had gotten the route from his classroom to the bathroom all sorts of mixed up, and now he was outside the building. Hmm. He definitely didn’t remember the short walk involving a trip outside. What to do, what to do? Link wasn’t with him the one time he needed him! Though he couldn’t blame the teacher, since sending two boys to the bathroom as the same time _was_ awfully suspicious.

Thankfully, he could hear the sound of voices from around the corner, and so he headed towards them in hopes that he’d find a kind Samaritan to lead him back to class before the period was over. Honestly, why was this academy so damned huge? Well, he shouldn’t be complaining since he nearly fell to his knees in praise every time he went to the building dedicated entirely to the cafeteria, but still!

Why was anyone outside anyways? The sky was heavy with gray clouds, overcast and throwing the day into a pale mockery of itself. The gardener - and a school this size surely needed one - wouldn’t come on a day like this. If it were students playing truant, then they might not help Allen get back inside.

It was only when he was already stepping around the edge of the building that it suddenly struck him.

He recognized the voices.

There, hanging from an open window on the ground floor, was Road. Half her body was hoisted out and she seemed to be performing some kind of horizontal balancing act on the window sill. Beside her stood Tyki Mikk, a lazy cigarette hanging from his lips.

“Oh? What a nice surprise,” Tyki said, and Allen sighed. Tyki cocked an eyebrow. “You’ve just been nothing but rude recently, haven’t you?”

“Give him a break, Tyki!” Road said cheerfully. “He forgets you’re our better halves - you haven’t seen Wisely or Jasdevi yet, have you?”

“Hello Tyki,” Allen finally said, reminded by Road that, yes, Tyki _was_ their more tolerable member. “Hello Road. No, I haven’t seen them yet. It’s only Wednesday.” After the fiasco yesterday Link had rushed them home to make his report and Allen could only send a belated text to Kanda. The moment they’d gotten home he’d hit the bed and slept until the next day.

“Hm,” Tyki said, scratching his temple and then removing his cigarette to blow out hazy smoke. Road frowned and batted it away, and Allen could see one of her platformed heels hovering in the air behind her. He squinted. Was she in a _bathroom?_

Tyki seemed to notice her wayward legs because he gave her an amused smile. “Road, you should stand properly. Someone’s going to walk in and get a nice view of your behind.” It was funny to Allen that Tyki censored his words for her when Road was much older than she appeared.

Road sniffed and kicked her legs some more, threatening to send her over the window sill. “I don’t care,” she announced promptly.

Allen shook his head. He was always drawn into their charming arguments way too easily. “Anyways, why are you even here Tyki? You’re _way_ too old to be in high school.”

“Oh, ouch,” Tyki said in mock pain, huffing a soft a laugh around his cigarette. He sucked in the last it had to give, exhaled it thoughtfully, eyes closing as he relished the last hit. Then he smothered the bud on the bottom of his shoe and tossed it to Road. She scowled even as she caught it, throwing it over her shoulder into the bathroom. “I wouldn’t want to be stuck here even if I did look young enough to pass as a senior. Who wants to repeat school again?”

“Some of us like having a social life,” Road commented wryly, and Tyki threw her a quick glare.

“I’m supposed to be picking them all up from school because Wisely drives like shit and Jasdevi aren’t allowed behind the wheel. Road can’t even see over it.”

“Hey!”

“But,” Tyki continued. “I came too early. This one,” he thumbed in Road’s direction, and she preened under the attention. “Doesn’t mind leaving early but Wisely seemingly can’t be bothered with the hassle of getting away and David hasn’t checked his phone.”

Allen frowned. “Jasdero doesn’t have one?”

Road shrugged, throwing her hands out on the wall to balance herself again. “Says if David has one then he doesn’t need one. They’re always together anyways, so why bother with another one?”

Admittedly it made some sense. Road bent her elbows on the window sill and cupped her face with her hands. “What about you, Allen? Why are you out here?”

It was very strange, Allen thought. Here he was, talking with the Noah like they were all good friends or something. He rubbed the back of his neck, fingering the scabs there. Road’s smile grew. “I got lost,” he admitted ruefully, glaring at the building for good measure.

Road laughed and Tyki chuckled. “Want me to lead you back inside?” Road asked, and Allen hesitated. It seemed like a bad idea to have the Noah do him any kind of favors.

“Actually,” Tyki said, stepping forward, the grass bending beneath his feet. It was a soft rustle, but it still set Allen’s nerves on end, and he stood rooted to the spot only because the Noah were like animals. Backing away showed only fear, and they thrived on it. _They hunt for it,_ he thought, darting a quick glance at Road’s gleaming smile. “I was hoping to talk with you. You never returned my call.”

“Oh,” Allen replied numbly, realizing he’d forgotten. “I’ve been busy.”

“So rude,” Tyki said in dismay, but he was grinning. “Well, since you’re already here, shall we talk?”

The bell thrilled then and Allen winced. Shit, class was over already. Road glanced over her shoulder at the sound and back at Allen. “You have to decide quickly, Allen,” she said. “Before that dog finds you.”

Allen met Tyki’s gold eyed stare and thunder rumbled ominously.

“Okay.”

Tyki’s grin grew, and Road giggled before hopping down from the window and back inside. She held her arms out and Tyki came close to give her a hug, pressing an affectionate kiss on her cheek. “I’ll text Lulubell to grab us,” Road said, hugging Tyki back fiercely and then turning expectantly towards Allen when Tyki stepped away.

“What?” Allen asked warily and Road laughed.

“Give me a good-bye hug!” She demanded, and before he could protest Tyki moved over and shoved him hard between the shoulder blades. He scowled but complied, letting Road pull him close as he bent down to accommodate her shorter height. Road laughed delightedly and smacked a kiss on his cheek. “You’re so obedient and sweet,” she said.

He pulled away and resisted the urge to rub at his cheek again. He squinted at Road, wiped at his cheek, and pursed his lips when his gloves came back smudged. “You’re wearing lipstick,” he accused.

Road giggled and hopped the rest of the way off the window, waving daintily before turning and darting off. Allen rubbed fiercely at his cheek until he was sure most of the makeup was off.

Allen’s phone buzzed and he knew without looking that it was Link demanding to know where he was at. Feeling only vaguely guilty, he turned to Tyki and cocked an eyebrow.

“Well? Are we going?”

Tyki laughed.

Tyki reached forward to guide Allen but he pulled away, scowling at the gesture. They had just turned to head towards the front of the school when Allen heard the distinct sound of a window sliding open.

“Beansprout!”

Allen glanced back, eyes growing wide as he spotted Kanda furiously looking at him from the window, Alma hovering over his shoulder. From this far away he couldn’t discern their expressions entirely but the way Kanda’s voice sounded…

Allen smiled hesitantly, but when he spied blond hair he immediately turned around, grabbing Tyki’s arm and digging his fingers in. “Come _on,_ what are we waiting for?”

“Allen!” Alma cried, and Allen pursued his lips, moving quickly. Maybe that hadn’t been Link behind them, but he wasn’t sure, and the only way he was going to get any information out of the Noah was if Link wasn’t constantly hovering over him.

Tyki roughly pulled himself free and walked side by side with Allen, keeping pace easily. Allen didn’t even have to look at him to feel the raised brow. “You’re not going to say hi?”

“No,” Allen said, finally stepping off the grass and onto the paved road. This academy was so needlessly huge and it normally didn’t bother him much, but when he was trying to make a getaway it made it hard.

Tyki’s car wasn’t parked too far away, and it suited him. Not the way he was now, borderline greasy and in day old clothes, but when he dressed up, it did. Sleek, black, some kind of new model. Cars weren’t Allen’s thing despite Cross’ love of them, and he didn’t particularly mind when he tracked mud onto the rugs.

Tyki didn’t either as he revved the engine.

* * *

 

When he asked Tyki where they were going he’d replied with simply ‘home’, and Allen wondered if he should be feeling more nervous than he was. The thing though was that Tyki normally didn’t _feel_ like a deranged murderer. He seemed like any other chain smoking card player, homeless and forever wondering about, hair crazy and falling in shiny curls that looked one step away from being greasy. When Tyki cleaned up, he did it _well,_ but any other time he was normal, and it unnerved Allen to find him so _human._

Still, unlike the rest of Noah who all gave off a decidedly inhumane sense, something akin to being animalistic with their golden eyes and sneering grins, Tyki felt normal and sane. And, as they say: nothing ventured nothing gained.

By the time they pulled up to their home - a good forty minutes’ drive away from the school - the clouds had opened up and rain was cascading by the buckets from the heavens. It pelted the floor with thunderous sounds, and through the sleet falling in waves all he could make of the house was that it was huge and sprawling.

He and Tyki ran for the house, and there was something so insane about it all that they stumbled into the foyer laughing. He leaned against the wall just inside the door and laughed breathily, shoulders sagging and shaking his head fiercely. The droplets flew all around and Tyki snorted when they hit him.

He closed his eyes, feeling the wet sag of his clothes as it dragged between the wall and his back, the bunch at his elbows and the squelch in between his fingers. He pulled off his gloves, observing the skin made paler by the wet chill. His red hand was still the same, as if blood had stained him and left him marked for life.

Tyki watched him quietly for a moment before holding out his hand. “Here, give me your gloves and whatnot. I’ll stick them in the dryer. In fact,” Tyki toed off his own shoes and then reached down to tug off his socks, grasping them together and wringing the water from them. It splattered to the floor and Allen jumped in his shock. “Go down past the staircase and open the first door on your left. There’s a bathroom - I’ll lend you some clothes.”

“Uh,” Allen said intelligently, finally looking around. He hadn’t gotten a good look earlier, but even from the inside the house was _huge._ It was two stories, and the staircase opened into the foyer where they currently stood. There was a dining room immediately to his left, and past the foyer was a huge gathering room. “Alright.”

“Great,” Tyki said, and then without warning began to strip. At Allen’s expression he chuckled. “It doesn’t matter to me - nothing to be ashamed of!” He left only his boxer briefs on, and Allen was horrified. Tyki left up the stairs, laughing all the while and taking the steps two at a time.

Allen pushed past his shock to head to the aforementioned bathroom, glad that Tyki was at least civil enough to offer privacy for Allen. He shed his soaking clothes and left them in a pile in the sink, glancing at the mirror as he did.

The chill of the rain had left him terribly pale - enough so that you could see some of his veins, a faint blue under his skin. There was a rather traceable one heading from just around his heart, across his left shoulder and down into his left arm. It disappeared under the red skin, however, and Allen faintly traced it, leaving goosebumps in the wake of his fingertips.

Pale on red on red on pale - he looked washed out and bloody. Like his cursed arm and scar had snatched up any color left possible on him.

The knock on the door startled him and he tried his best to hide his surprised yelp. “Y-yes?”

“Your clothes,” Tyki said, and Allen passed his wet garments as Tyki handed over some dry ones. It was some of Tyki’s nicer clothes, a pair of black slacks, some socks, a belt, a black undershirt. The shirt had no sleeves, and Allen scowled as he pulled the clothes on. Tyki’s pants needed to be rolled up three times at the bottom and belted to the tightest loop. When he stepped out Tyki burst into laughter.

"God, I knew you were smaller than me but not _that_ small," Tyki said, and Allen socked him in his upper arm. "I would pretend it hurts but honestly? Is that the best you could do?"

“Shut up,” Allen demanded, pushing past him and moving to explore the first level of the house more. There was a fireplace in the living room, and to the left an open floorplan kitchen and breakfast room. Attached to that was a screened porch, and there was even more room left unexplored. Jesus, this house was huge. Granted, there were a lot of the Noah, and they weren’t short on money, but this seemed excessive, especially for a family who weren’t particularly domestic. “It’s beautiful,” he commented honestly, and Tyki chuckled.

“Oh, are your manners finally back?” He looked around, glancing up the balcony that stretched from the staircase to the upper part of the house. “It’s alright, I guess. Pretty chilly though, which is great now but there’s a _reason_ why there’re two fireplaces.”

Two? Well, whatever. He wasn’t here to explore their house. “I’m hungry,” Allen announced, and Tyki indulged him by heading to the kitchen.

“I can cook,” Tyki said, “but I don’t actually want to. Pizza?”

“Only if you order three just for me,” Allen replied, grateful for the excuse to not eat a Noah’s cooking. Bad enough he was in their house, no need to go tempting the devil.

He sat at their breakfast bar as Tyki scrutinized a card on the refrigerator, held there by a magnet of a palm tree. “Four pizzas it is,” Tyki said, and dialed.

* * *

 

Tyki led him on a tour of the house, mentioning that Lulubell and Skinn both lived elsewhere - Tyki, too, had his own apartment, but the Earl thought it best he stayed with Road, Wisely, and Jasdevi here. The rest of the Noah, including the Earl, were still in Europe, to Allen’s relief.

“Well, somewhere in Europe,” Tyki said off-hand. “The Earl totes them all over the place, so I’m actually not sure where they really are. Ask Road or Wisely - they keep better track.” Allen didn’t mention that he wouldn’t be asking them anything.

It was weird, being civil. The last time he’d been with the Noah he’d been borderline held hostage.

Thankfully their pizza arrived soon, and Allen was pretty sure Tyki had been talking at him while he ate, but there was no listening once he laid eyes on the pies. He was through two boxes and a half before he finally slowed down long enough to notice Tyki’s put-out face. He swung his feet in the swivel bar stools, glancing at Tyki across the breakfast bar.

“What?” He asked through a mouthful, reaching to chew at the cheesy-stuffed crust. “What’s that face for?”

“America’s made you rotten,” Tyki proclaimed and Allen snorted. He had no manners for the Noah. He made to say as much but found eating pizza more important.

While Tyki was distracted by the front door opening Allen snuck another slice from his plate, frowning at the sudden pineapple. Feet pounded down the wooden floors and the sound of rain suddenly increased. Using the free moment, he checked his phone and winced.

Six missed calls, seven texts, that email he never checked. He locked the device and placed it back in his pocket, frowning.

“Ty-ki!” Road cheered from down the hall, and Allen thought he deserved a reward for the amount of effort required to push down the rising groan. He swiveled around in his bar stool to face Road as she clomped in, platforms leaving wet tracks on the pristine wood. “And oh! Allen’s still here!” Before he could maybe run out of the house to avoid her she jumped him, wrapping rain-drenched arms around his neck.

“Oh, Road!” He whined, pushing her away. “You’re totally soaked!”

“I know,” she giggled, and then proceeded to peel off her school shirt, leaving only her undershirt. Her black bra bled through and Allen rolled his eyes, politely looking away and frowning. Tyki admonished Road who simply shrugged and Jasdevi peered down from the balcony upstairs.

“Hey, boy!” They said.

Devit stood over the banister, leering. “That dog of yours was going crazy lookin’ for ya! Not to mention the stick-up-his-ass! I say you’d better scurry home!” Jasdero giggled, lying against Devit, blond hair tumbling over his shoulders.

“Better hurry!” He echoed, laughing. The twins stumbled over each other in a sudden race, arguing over each other.

“Oh, right,” Allen said numbly, just for the sake of saying it. He looked at the two Noah before him, Road in a thin camisole and school skirt, dark stockings and platform heels, Tyki in his lazily buttoned white shirt, sleeves pushed up and cuffs undone, slacks loose on his hips and feet bare.

This was wrong.

He shouldn’t be here, shouldn’t be so friendly. Shouldn’t be wearing Tyki’s clothes, shirt sticking to his shoulder where Road had hugged him. Shouldn’t be eating off their dime, content and full. He knew what they were doing - _had_ been doing.

“So,” Allen said, licking stray pizza grease off his fingers. Road’s face grew pinched and she moved around the kitchen, finding a napkin to give him. He took it gracefully. As he wiped his hands he met Tyki’s eyes. “What did you want to talk to me about? You’ve been the gracious host, but I do have a time limit here.”

Tyki’s tongue ran over his lips slowly and he grinned.

“Well you see, boy,” Tyki said, stepping closer. Allen stiffened in his seat, glaring up at him. “There’s this thing - we’re the only ones on your side.”

Allen scoffed, hopping off his seat and forcing Tyki a step back. “We will never be on the same side,” he said. “I’d rather die than be on the same side as you!”

Instead of being offended Tyki threw his head back and laughed. “And so you will! Don’t forget, boy,” he said, eyes glittering. He bent down, a breath away, close enough to grasp Allen around the neck if he wanted. “You have a time limit, and it’s coming up soon.”

Allen grimaced at the reminder, drawing back. "And what does it matter to you? You don't want me. You want what's-" he bit his tongue. Even after all this time he still couldn't bring himself to say it.

"Allen," Road said, soft, gentle, as if he might break. "Allen, we don't care about him. We care about _you._ We don't want have plans on killing you, like they do."

You sure don't mind hurting me, Allen thought viciously, refusing the urge to touch the back of his neck. Link said they wouldn't scar at all, but it was still disconcerting. It wasn't that Road didn't have the strength to scar him - it was that her mutated body certainly had the power to snap his neck in half. His eyes drifted to her hands and he smiled lightly. Well, it would take both of her hands, at least.

But... "What do you _mean_ you don't care about him? I thought that's why you were here - to watch over him."

"We're here on the Earl's orders," Tyki said, crossing his arms. The wind shifted and Allen flinched when the rain fell against the windows with startling force. "He wants you alive, whether it's him or you."

Allen scowled at the mention of the Earl. He'd never actually met him. For whatever reason, another Noah was always sent to talk to him on the Earl's bidding, which vaguely suited Allen just fine. He didn't _want_ to meet him, the strange man who cherished only Allen's body.

"Why are you at my school?" Allen demanded angrily. "It's my last chance to have a normal life-" Link's presence not withstanding "-what business do you have there? Can't you just send Tyki to stalk me from a distance again?"

"Hey!" Tyki said.

Road rolled her eyes, toeing off her shoes to stand in just her socks. She dropped four inches shorter, a hilarious image. "Because Millenie thinks we deserve a normal life too."

Unspoken were the words _we're just as human as you._ The Children of Methuselah were human, sure, but as human as Allen was. Which was to say, not very human at all.

"You're monsters," Allen said, and Road's lips thinned. "And the Earl is mad,"

"As mad as you," She chanted, smile growing, "mad _mad mad hatter, and poor Alice lost in wonderland!"_

"I'm not crazy!" Allen snapped, and Tyki blinked at the ferocity of his voice. "I'm not!" _It's not my fault I can't wake up anymore._ He bit the words down, forced them back into the darkness they crawled from. They didn't know that and he wasn't going to tell them.

The words fell and grew between them, filled only by the unending rain. Road's face was carefully blank, now, and Tyki sighed. He shifted, patted a pocket and withdrew another a short red box. A huge R was mostly covered by Tyki's fingers as he tapped the box a few times and then withdrew a cigarette. Road moved around the kitchen to find a lighter in a drawer and handed it to him. With a muted thanks Tyki flicked the lighter and drew in.

"We're not the only monsters," Tyki said at last, exhaling shortly and breaking the silence. "Those kids you call your friends?" He laughed, short and hard. "They're as human as we are!" He moved back towards the counter, grabbing an ash tray and sitting on a stool. Allen shifted away, even though there were two seats between them.

"What?" Allen asked, brow furrowing. He snorted as the smoke drifted his way and waved his hand to dispel it. "What do you mean? Who are you talking about?"

Tyki grinned white teeth through the smoke. "I don't know. Maybe if we were on the same side I'd tell you more."

_Petty,_ Allen thought. "The only reason you can smoke those infernal hell sticks is because it won't kill you."

Tyki genuinely laughed and then fell into coughing. "Oh God, you're never a bore. I do a lot more things than people normally would, simply because it won't kill me. It won't kill you, either. Want one?" Tyki tilted his hand towards Allen, offering the cigarette. Allen wrinkled his nose.

_"No."_

"Such a prude," Tyki said, bringing the stick back to his mouth. "Well, this kind would've killed you if you tried it anyways."

Allen squinted at the box peeking through Tyki's pocket. It was a different brand than Cross' for sure, but to be fair Cross didn't smoke as often as one thought. _He makes up for it in drinking, though._

Tyki smoked for a while and Road moved to stand and stare out at the rain. Allen watched the smoke curl, and hated that he felt even somewhat comfortable. "You know," Tyki said, hand covering his mouth as he spoke, eyes distant and flat. "You're going to die soon, and we don't want that to happen."

_I don't either._

"But you won't let us help you, because of something as idiotic as morality. Morality! You'll die to save people who wouldn't give a shit if you dropped stone dead in front of them!"

_Well, ouch._

"And you know it - I can see it. You know it, and you'll still do it, and it's endearing but your life isn't worth petty sentiments like that."

And, well. That was the most anyone had ever said about the matter. For Allen. His throat closed and anger grew. These shouldn't be his options. Die, or damn humanity.

"Like you said," Allen began, voice low and rough. "We're not on the same side, so why should you help me?"

"Because we have to," Tyki said, laughing mirthlessly. "No other choice but to."

And so the Children of Methuselah were cursed to love.

"Just stay away from me," Allen finally said, voice thick.

"Do you really think you'll last until the end of high school?" Tyki asked, grinning. "Really?"

"Shut up!" Allen snapped. He didn't.

 "Tyki stop," Road said, finally moving away from the windows. She glared at them like misbehaving children.

"What?" Tyki asked, waving the hand holding the cigarette and sending ashes falling. He cursed and swiped at his pant leg, smearing it. "Everyone knows it! Kid's going to burn himself out and no one's going to even mourn him! And it's going to be for nothing!"

Upstairs Jasdevi cheered loudly over something and Allen frowned. "Where's Wisely?" He demanded.

Tyki shrugged, uncaring, and Road moved closer. "He went downstairs, says he had a headache."

_Don't we all,_ Allen thought, feeling the beginnings of his own building.

"Why are you squinting?" Tyki asked suddenly, leaning across the seats to stare at Allen's face.

"What?" Allen asked, blinking and realizing he had been. "It's just bright," he defended.

"It's _pouring rain_ outside and you think it's _bright?"_ Tyki asked incredulously, and he had a point. There was only the very dimmed sunlight lighting up the floor to ceiling windows of the living room and breakfast room.

Allen shrugged, and Tyki frowned. "What's it matter to you?" Allen asked, but Tyki wasn't deterred.

"It's gotten worse, hasn't it?" He asked, and Allen stilled, felt his heart skip a beat and his breath catch.

Foggy mornings, Link's worried frown, distant memories.

Allen shoved Tyki away, stumbling back from the effort and knocking into the stool behind him. He glanced at Road who looked equal parts sadistic and sad, and the expression was so insane it sent shivers down his spine. “I’m leaving,” Allen hissed. “If that’s all you’re going to say, then I’m leaving!”

“So rude,” Tyki said, shaking his head. “I’m not driving you back - that’s too long a drive to make again.”

Allen scowled down at his socks, remembered abruptly that his shoes were soaked and his original clothes God knows where, and that he had left his wallet in his bag back at school. The week had started off shitty and it didn’t seem to be looking up any time soon. He grit his teeth, looked up find Tyki’s face smug and Road’s smiling as always.

“Then I’ll just walk back,” Allen said stubbornly, and Tyki’s face fell.

“Walk back?” He demanded, eyes darting to the veranda. The rain still fell in sleets, relentless. “In that? Have you lost your mind?”

“Apparently if I’m here in the first place,” Allen grumbled beneath his breath, straining his ears for the possible sound of the dryer. He didn’t care if he went home in Tyki’s clothes, but it was leaving his own clothes behind that bothered him. “Can I have my clothes back?”

“Just drive him home,” Road said, moving around the kitchen bar. Allen watched in awe as she somehow managed to hoist herself all the way up, sitting primly on the edge and swinging her feet. “If he gets sick, I won’t forgive you.”

Which, coming from a seeming teenaged girl, wouldn’t really scare anyone. But coming from _Road_ sent chills down Allen’s spine, and he reached up with a wince to finger the scabs on his neck.

Tyki’s lips pursed like he’d bitten a lemon, and he sighed deeply. “Fine, fine! I’ll take him back. Sheryl spoils you rotten,” he tacked on, and Road laughed. “Come on boy, your clothes aren’t done yet though.” Tyki walked off, grabbing his keys from an end table against the wall, and Allen nodded hesitantly at Road before following quickly.

That was the thing. Tyki didn’t normally feel like a deranged murderer, but that didn’t mean he was by any kind of stretch of the world _normal._ Like now, Allen hesitated to stop and demand his clothes back. You didn’t know what would set Tyki off into suddenly being cold and cruel, and Allen really didn’t want to do anything to trigger it when he was about to spend forty minutes in a car driving through heavy rain with him.

Just thinking it at all sent shivers wracking his body, but he really didn’t want to walk all that way home.

Surprisingly, Tyki pulled a huge black umbrella from a closet by the front door. He held it mostly over Allen as they stepped out into the pouring rain, and Allen glanced back as the door shut behind them.

There was a brief flash of Road as she stood in the empty hall, black stockings drenched, sheer camisole, hair hanging down around her face. The polished wood reflected her just barely, smeared and stretched long. Behind her were long windows that framed her in pouring rain, and she looked inexplicably human to Allen, then.

The drive back was somehow even quieter than before, and the pounding rain did wonders to distract him from the headache he had. He tilted his forehead against the window, watching as the wind blew drops past him. It made him flinch at times, to see it so close to his eyes. Tyki was silent, the radio off, only the quiet thrum of the engine and the endless rain. Maybe he knew Allen was tired. Maybe he was feeling sorry. Maybe Allen was just desperately projecting onto him, he thought.

He might have fallen asleep or simply lost track of time under the guise of pain, but he only registered his apartment when Tyki was pulling into it. Allen looked at him across the short distance. Dark skinned and golden eyes, curly black hair with the mole under his eye.

“You’re not on my side,” Allen said, glancing away from Tyki to the rain on the windshield. “All of you are here for one reason or another, but that reason isn’t for me.”

Tyki remained silent, and anger inexplicably filled Allen. What was he thinking, that Tyki would deny it, say ‘oh no, it’s you we’re here for?’ He was blaming Tyki for all his anger, but he couldn’t bring himself to care anymore than he already did.

“Thanks for the ride home,” Allen said, trying to sound sincere and failing. Tyki laughed lightly and Allen stepped from the car, immediately becoming drenched in the downpour.

He turned his face to the sky, sighing as his headache finally bled away, and met Link’s piercing gaze from the banister of their apartment.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Important Note:** I added a little over a thousand words to last chapter, so please give it a reread! 
> 
> CoP playlist up on playmoss under the username neachi!

“Stupid goddamn beansprout,” Kanda cursed, slamming Alma’s car door shut and surging ahead, almost tripping over his own two feet in the downpour. “Goddamn fucking rain!”

“Yuu!” Alma admonished, pushing his own car door shut and jogging towards Kanda. He stumbled and Kanda steadied him absent mindedly, crossing the ocean called a parking lot to reach the building.

Alma sighed in relief once they stepped under an awning but Kanda did not stop, taking to the staircase two steps at a time, shoes squishing uncomfortably and water between his toes. He didn’t give a shit about the weather one way or another, but God if having wet shoes didn’t just piss him off more than he already was.

Alma was right behind him, and once on their level he stormed down the hall, hissing as the wind sprayed warm summer rain sideways into the open hall. He found the beansprout’s door and banged his knuckles against it hard enough to split skin. “Beansprout! Your ass better be here!”

Three thunderous knocks later had Link opening the door, weary and skin tight around the eyes, face carefully blank. He looked at Kanda, at Alma, at the rain still pouring, and said dispassionately, “You’re going to track mud inside.”

 _The most inane fucking shit-_ “Where’s the beansprout?” Kanda demanded, looking past Link and finding their apartment distressingly empty. Most of the lights were off, too, and God if that wasn’t the more depressing sight he’d seen. He grimaced at the image. This apartment was always bright and airy in his memories, and to see it plunged in darkness was disconcerting.

“I don’t know,” Link said, turning around and walking to the kitchen. Kanda followed without invitation, Alma trailing him quietly. He hated seeing Alma like this, too, and it just fueled his anger more.

“Aren’t you attached at the goddamn hip?” Kanda asked, standing in the living room. There were precious little differences since he’d last been there, but it felt more lived in. The throw over the couch wasn’t as neatly folded, the pillows more creased, and all the bookshelf was a tiny collection of something ceramic, or porcelain. Junk mail splayed on the breakfast bar, a used gum wrapper and some hair ties in a key bowl.

“Life would be easier,” Link said dryly.

“Who was that guy?” Kanda demanded instead, crossing his arms as Alma stood at his shoulder.

“You’ve met him before,” Link said dispassionately. “Tyki Mikk - Road’s uncle.”

 _“That_ insane girl’s uncle?” Kanda scowled, remembering vividly how quickly Allen’s face had lost color while Road sat in his lap, and then the bloodied napkin Link had retrieved. “Why the hell would Allen go anywhere near him?”

Link opened his mouth, snapped it shut, and shrugged. Beside him Alma fidgeted, and Kanda pressed his lips against each other in aggravation. “Turn the lights on?” He asked, glancing at Alma over his shoulder. Alma eagerly nodded and traipsed around the apartment, flicking every single light on. In the light, Kanda could see how tired Link looked. He kept rubbing at his wristwatch.

The silence stretched on with Link clearly refusing to say anything first. Repressing the urge to sigh, Kanda stormed over to the couch and sat roughly on it. Alma followed at a more sedate pace, settling gingerly into the armchair. “Then I’m going to wait for him,” Kanda announced, daring Link to argue with him.

Once more Link stared blankly at him, and then shrugged, and Kanda felt his anger rise. Allen pissed him off, sure, but Link did even more, with his blank faces and stripped personality. He stood at the kitchen stable, staring blankly out the window as the rain drops cast falling shadows down his face. Alma fiddled nervously with his fingers before grabbing his phone and thumbing through his apps, messages, texting others and replying before moving onto another app. Kanda had most of the same ones, but only because Alma had downloaded them for him. He leaned his head against the back of the couch, prepared to wait it out.

Time stretched on long enough that he dozed off into a meditative state when he finally heard a car pull up in front of the complex. Link’s head jerked up and to the door, and before Kanda could even push himself to stand had already opened it and stormed out into the banister. A spray of rain washed inside, and both Kanda and Alma moved to follow.

An expensive looking black car had pulled up, the window wipers working furiously. Through the rain and darkness and the car’s window tint, Kanda couldn’t see a single thing, but soon the passenger side was opening.

Allen stepped out, immediately drenched by the rain. He turned and said something to the driver before slamming it shut and hurrying to the building, disappearing into it. Link stood just outside the door, eyeing the black car. It lingered long enough for Allen to make it to their floor before driving off, and Kanda was almost sure Link was memorizing the license plate.

Allen swept his hair off his face, and Kanda was struck by the sight of his red arm. In fact, Allen’s entire outfit was different. Black tank top, too big slacks, all outlined by his pale skin and red arm. He looked alarmingly different than what Kanda was used to.

“Where were you?” Link demanded, and only then did it occur to Kanda that the earlier apathy was a desperate bid to hide burning anger.

“With the Noahs,” Allen said far too cheerfully, sopping wet and chilled to the bone. “Do you mind if we continue this inside? The weather is dreadful.”

Link spun quickly on his heel to head back in and Kanda backed off to make room inside. Allen stepped past the threshold and blinked when he met Kanda’s eyes, glancing at Alma next. “Oh, I didn’t realize you two were- my phone! Shit!” He hastily dug through his pants pocket and came up with his phone, holding it with two fingers. “Oh, good, it’s okay. Sorry I didn’t respond to your texts.”

Kanda didn’t care about the missed calls or texts. “Why were you with the Noahs?” Kanda said, the word falling weird off his tongue. Link walked back with a towel that Allen accepted, smiling, and the whole thing was disgusting.

“Why are you here, Kanda?” Allen asked instead, voice muffled as he dried his hair with the towel. “If it’s about that conversation, could it maybe wait? I _am_ drenched to the bone.”

“Whose clothes are those?” Kanda stepped forward until his feet splashed into the puddle slowly building around Allen. “They don’t even fit you.”

“All the more reason I should change,” Allen said brightly, tugging his dark shirt away from his chest, more droplets falling onto the floor. “I’m making such a mess.”

Everything felt so stilted and wrong about Allen - his words well-rehearsed, with no emotion, no meaning. Just the barest of bones tossed their way so Allen could escape from a conversation he didn’t want.

_Well, too fucking bad._

Kanda opened his mouth to say as much, but Alma interrupted him, moving closer to Allen who stiffened in alarm, sending warning bells ringing in Kanda’s head.

Tenderly, as if reaching for a dandelion that might blow away at the slightest touch, Alma pressed his fingertips against Allen’s red arm, starting at the junction and tracing the smooth skin up to where it met a normal tone. “Your arm…” Alma breathed, fingering the clean line before moving up to the arching red patterns. “It wasn’t like this before.”

It had only been at one of their sleepovers that Kanda had briefly seen Allen’s arm, and the memory only registered a deep unholy expanse of red, frightening and inhumane. But, Alma was right. The skin was smoother, cleaner cut. Like a ridiculous tattoo than a scarred reminder.

He was close enough that he could grab Allen’s arm without preamble, agitating the boy. “When did this change?”

Allen’s breathing changed, stunted and sharp. “Let me go!” he snapped, and he jerked himself back so suddenly he startled Alma into yelping. “Cross helped me when I was younger to fix it, that’s all!”

“Cross?” Kanda said quietly. “And where is he?”

“Gone,” Allen bit out, glaring. “What, I can’t hang out with anyone else without getting the Spanish Inquisition?”

“Not,” Kanda started, closing in to fist Allen’s collar, tightening his hold until water dripped down his knuckles. “When you skip school, leave for no reason, not tell a single person where you’re going, and come back in different clothes!”

“Get _off me!”_ Allen’s blood red hand wrapped around Kanda’s wrist and squeezed until he swore his bones moved inside, forcing his fingers loose and then wrenching it away. Allen stumbled back with the effort, chest heaving. “Why are you even _here, Kanda?”_

He turned on Link then, eyes flashing as if to accuse of him ‘ _and you let them in?’_

Kanda didn’t realize his chance was gone until Link took it, stepping forward with crossed arms. Gone was the apathy, the blank face, to still posture. Link was thrumming with energy now, brows drawn down, eyes cold, anger lining the shape of his lips and the taut string holding his shoulders stiff.

“Where were you, Walker?” Link said, in a tone so ice numbingly crisp it alarmed Kanda. He had never heard Link speak to Allen this way, and it almost pissed him off to hear the tone if Kanda wasn’t just as mad.

“I told you,” Allen hissed. “I was with the Noah Clan.”

“Why?” Link’s words left him like the crack of a whip, and Kanda could see it marking Allen and bruising him inside. “Where exactly? The address, who of the Noah were there, why you were there - I need all these details Walker. I’ve already informed Chief Secretary Leverrier of your break away and subsequent disappearance - don’t think this is staying between us.”

Allen regarded Link curiously, and something shifted in his demeanor, turning the shade of his eyes wintry and bleak, leeching all the warmth it might have possibly held for Link. He laughed, echoing and cheap. “Of course I don’t think that, Link. I never have. You’ve made it very clear.”

Kanda looked from Allen to Link, tension coiling and rising up his back, almost painful in how stressed it made him. They had all seen Link’s attachment to Allen as strange, but this wasn’t even remotely positive like they had vaguely assumed. It was like Link was here to watch Allen. Not as a friend, not as a roommate, not even as a stranger. Someone to hold Allen down and keep him damn near hostage. The matching schedules, the constant presence, the way Link always kept Allen in his sight.

“Who the hell are you?” Kanda demanded, stepping closer to Allen, because _yes_ he was pissed and, _no_ this wasn’t the last of it, but this - this mystery, this lying, the cold anger in Link’s eyes - _this_ was more important. “Who is Leverrier?”

“None of your business, Kanda Yuu, Alma Karma. In fact,” Link turned to them in a full body step, so reminiscent of military breeding that it startled Kanda he hadn’t seen it before. “I think you’ve overstayed your welcome. You’ve seen Walker, verified his safety - it’s time for you to go.”

Kanda and Link had never particularly been friends, but they hadn’t been enemies before either. He narrowed his eyes at him, took in his stiff posture, his blank face, the way Allen looked helplessly at him, and then at Kanda.

“Just go, Kanda, Alma,” Allen said, eyes bright. “I’ll get back to you later, I promise. Besides,” he dredged up a watery smile that looked brittle on his pale face and trembling shoulders. “I really need a hot bath!”

“Okay, Allen.”

Kanda jerked to look at Alma, who smiled a small sad smile. “We’ll see you at school, okay? Text me back!”

It was such a false positivity it almost made Kanda retch.

“Okay,” Allen said, smile just as fake. “I’ll see you. Do you have an umbrella? Would you like to-”

“That’s okay,” Alma interrupted sharply, and at Allen’s jolt softened his next words considerably. “We’re okay. We’ll see you.”

Alma was good at pretending, but he felt too passionately to somehow contain it all. Kanda let Alma’s grip on his wrist remain only because his fingers were trembling.

* * *

 

_Noah Clan, Noah Clan, Noah Clan--_

_Who even is a clan anymore?_

Oh, Alma thought. They were. The Chan Clan. Alma Karma was adopted, sure, but Bak, Twi, and Edgar all carried the clan name. What did being a Clan even mean anyways?

He crossed his legs at the kitchen table and folding his arms behind his head, leaning back to stare up at the complex light fixture setting their dining room alight in gold. Allen’s apartment had been distressingly dark, even after Alma had gone around turning the lights on. Even after making it to Alma’s home Kanda’s anger hadn’t settled, thriving inside him like a wild beast. He’d paced the halls until Alma laid a calming touch on his arm, giving Alma a dark-eyed look and then whisking off into the rain, back to his home. _Just needs time to cool down,_ Alma thought, the lights blurring into colorful after images.

The door from the kitchen opened and Bak stepped through, blinking when he saw Alma. “Oh, hey Alma.”

“Hey Bak,” Alma said back, mind still turning the scene in Allen’s home over. “Hey, why are we called a Clan?”

“Hmm?” Bak asked around the straw of his drink, some kind of sweet strawberry concoction. He had a green drink in the other hand that Alma playfully wrinkled his nose at. Twi said Bak poured over his grad studies far too much and if he wouldn’t go out to see the sun at least once a day then to drink his nutrients - or something like that. Alma had run away once the conversation had turned to him also drinking the green stuff that looked like a worse version of the algae that sometimes grew around their pool.

Bak seemed distracted, bags under his eyes pronounced from his studies and gaze far away. “Ah, most likely because most of the Innocent either fall under a Clan or individually become chosen ones.”

 _“What?”_ Alma breathed, brows drawing down sharply and head snapping to Bak so sharply he nearly got whiplash.

Bak choked on his drink and spilled half of it from his lips and down his shirt, looking horrified. “Oh _shit.”_

That had been far far _far_ from what he had expected. “What did you just say?” _The Innocent?_ “Bak, what did you just say right now? The Innocent? Who’re they? Like, kids and babies and stuff?”

“Oh no,” Bak said, slowly shaking his head, and then trying for a weak smile. “Sorry, I wasn’t actually listening and just started saying random stuff from my philosophy classes - what were you asked me?”

Uncrossing his legs, Alma sat at attention, leaning forward until his chest met the table, his hands gripping the edges of his chair. “I was asking why we’re called a clan. The Chan Clan.”

“I-I’m not really sure,” Bak said, readjusting his grip on his drinks. “We’ve been called a clan for hundreds of years - centuries, really. Just the kind of thing that carries over from the old days.” He laughed weakly, looked at the stain down his shirt, and sighed. “I’m… I’m going to go change - now, uhm. Was that all?”

Frowning, Alma nodded slightly, and Bak gave a relieved smile. “Good, great - uh. See ya, Alma.”

“Bye Bak,” Alma said absently, turning the information over his head.

_The Innocent. Chosen ones._

_The Chan Clan._

_The Noah Clan._

_Allen Walker, Howard Link, Leverrier._

_How were they all connected?_


	12. Chapter 12

 

Twi was working the night shift at the hospital and Edgar slept like the dead - Bak was out with friends, and anyways, they never cared if Alma ended up at Kanda’s house overnight in the first place.

Still, it was always just a little exciting to walk out of his home with no one knowing. He locked the front door and readjusted his bag, pocketing the keys before jogging down the driveway. Kanda lived on the same block as him, and Alma knew for a fact that their spare key was hidden inside a artfully crafted statue of a dog on their lawn. Tiedoll was always creating strange statues, Alma mused, palming the dog’s upraised paw and removed the key stuck underneath. He let himself into the house as familiar as his own and started up the stairs. Tiedoll’s house was similar in make to Alma’s, but the colors and designs were all different. Where Twi preferred bright open colors and clean modern-esque decorations, Tiedoll seemed to like the cottage-y warm wood style. Still, despite their differences, Kanda’s home was as familiar to Alma as his own, and it was easy to navigate in the dark to Kanda’s bedroom.

Kanda’s room was nothing like Alma’s. Bare, light colored walls with dark themed furniture and a whole wall set aside for art supplies and mounts for the swords he collected. There was also a huge wall dedicated to windows that faced east, with tiny shelves built for the multitude of plants Kanda took care of. It was really cute, in a way, and Alma had resolved to never mention it lest he embarrass Kanda.

Despite being thick as thieves, they were also very different from each other - Kanda was a morning person, and Alma could get going at any hour of the day, depending if he’d had enough sleep and food. That being said, it was closer to the dawn of a new day than last night, and Kanda was dead asleep in his bed.

Alma approached quietly, careful not to wake him up. He set his bag down at the foot of the bed, bending down to toe off his shoes and also set them aside. He was already dressed in sweatpants and a casual tee of one of his favorite bands, so he was very comfortable when he laid down on the side Kanda was not sleeping.

This woke him up. He stirred, blinking slowly, and turned on his side to face Alma, who lay over the sheets. “What?” He asked, voice thick with sleep and low. There was moonlight streaming in from the windows - Kanda never closed the curtains, even when he changed, because that side of the house faced Tiedoll’s towering hedges - and sleeping over was always a pain because Kanda woke with the sun so therefore Alma did too.

“I was lonely,” Alma whispered back, and that part was true, yes. Having doctors for parents was nice when you could afford anything you wanted, and having a big brother who adored you was also great, but when they were always gone due to work or school, it left Alma living in a too big home with too little people.

“Hnn,” Kanda grumbled, and then turned over again flat on his back, preparing to fall back asleep.

“...I accidentally found out some things about Allen,” Alma said, turning his face into his pillow. This caught Kanda’s sleepy attention, and he shifted to face Alma, still lying on his back. As if sensing his sad loneliness, Kanda grasped the covers between them and tugged until Alma complied, sliding under them.

“What?” Kanda asked, subdued. Alma always marveled at how so many people assumed Kanda was not kind. He was strict and stern and hard on others - but he held himself in the strictest of disciplines, and expected of others only as much as he was willing to do. Still, Kanda’s heart was big and he was noble, and he accepted Alma who came to his home in the middle of the night, sad and lonely.

“A lot of things,” Alma said, and he titled his face to stare out the window and at the looming moon, bright and silver. Quietly, soft as starlight, he told Kanda. About what Bak had said, what that could mean, how it worried him.

“What does it all mean?”

“We’ll ask him tomorrow,” Kanda promised, strong and sure, a steady rock in Alma’s frantic worry. “But for now, we’re going to sleep. No use worrying over it.”

“Okay,” Alma said, finally smiling. This is what he had come for. Not just to tell Kanda and keep him up to date, but to find this comfort, this confidence Kanda always had. Alma knew he placed far too much trust and value in Kanda’s word over his own, but that’s what it was.

More than Twi, or Edgar, or Bak, Lenalee, Lavi, or even himself - Kanda was worth so much more.

He curled in further under the sheets, ignoring the last little worry he had not told Kanda. It was late, and tomorrow they could start again. Pushing aside the thought, he focused on the soft rise and fall of Kanda’s chest, the steady breathing, and the comforting darkness surrounding him.

Still, even as he finally fell asleep, he couldn’t help but wonder where, exactly, that left Allen to him.

* * *

The next morning found the sun just as muted as the day before, clouds covering the skies, though there didn’t seem to be any hint of rain. It left the day colored in pale washed out hues, stripping all vibrancy and leaving Alma sleepy and lethargic. Even the cup of coffee he’d enjoyed with Tiedoll in the morning didn’t seem to have helped much.

Alma sat cross legged on a low stone wall in front of their school building, waiting, and he indulged in a back bending stretch, sighing as some joints popped. Kanda stood beside him, arms crossed and eyes focused far away, thinking, or perhaps just meditating in place. At the sight, Alma cracked a half-smile, amused. Kanda was hot, and he knew it, yeah, but he placed so little value in his own appearance or attraction to others that he simply didn’t understand why it is everyone in their school tripped over their own feet just glancing at him.

His sigh turned into a laugh and Kanda cocked an eyebrow at him curiously, but the thought was enough to have lifted Alma’s spirits just a bit. Enough to keep his grin steady.

“Hey,” he began conversationally, leaning back on his hands and shifting minutely - the stone was a bitch to sit on. “Don’t you think it’s funny both Tiedoll and my parents adopted Asian kids that were the same age?”

“What?” Kanda asked, making a face and shifting in place a bit to face him.

“I mean, sure Tiedoll’s adopted a bunch of kids, but isn’t it funny? Like, what a huge coincidence!”

Kanda pursued his lips, and Alma could tell he was debating between simply ignoring him or firmly telling him he didn’t give a shit in particular. “Seriously, what are the odds that two different families would both adopt Asian kids and live in the same neighborhood and send them to the same school? It’s like fate!”

“Gross,” Kanda said immediately, and Alma laughed.

“Beautiful beautiful destiny!” He shouted, throwing his arms wide. Kanda moved back to avoid the gesture, rolling his eyes and focusing on the incoming students once again.

“So not a romantic,” Alma teased, but Kanda was ignoring him again, so Alma dropped his gaze to his phone, fiddling with it. From the corner of his eye he could see several students veer out of their path, and he quirked a smile. Maybe Allen hadn’t noticed, but Alma and Kanda really did keep to themselves. They only really talked to Lavi, Lenalee, and now Allen and Link. The other three were far more social, Lenalee especially, who had the entire track team as friends. Allen, Alma thought, considered anyone who smiled at him a friend. Sweet, really.

He scrolled through Instagram a bit, took a side photo of Kanda and fiddled with the filters before posting it with a grin. Sure, Kanda had all the apps, but he never bothered to check them. He took one of himself too, deleted it, tried again and liked the result, and continued to mess with the edit out of boredom. When finally Kanda shifted, suddenly alert, Alma pocketed his phone to find Allen and Link approaching them, an easy smile on Allen’s face.

It hurt more than Alma expected when Allen caught sight of them and his expression twisted. It was just a moment, just the barest flash of exhaustion, but it was there. Alma suddenly felt inexplicably tired.

Still, he forced a smile. “Allen!” He waved, and Allen had the decency to smile and wave back.

“Alma,” he said congenially. “Good morning.” He nodded to Kanda.

Kanda took one look at him and snorted derisively. “What, you went back licking at his shoes already?” He jerked his head towards Link, who stiffened, lips flattening into a thin line.

Allen’s thin smile waned and fell into an easy glare. “Link and I talked it over - we’ve settled things.”

“Ha! He has you by the throat and still you defend him. Pathetic,” Kanda spat, turning away as if unable to bear the sight of Allen.

“Yuu,” Alma started, stopped, sighed. He turned back to Allen, knowing where Kanda’s anger was stemming from. “We’re just worried Allen. Nothing feels right about this.”

“Everything’s fine!” Allen promised with a smile. “I mean, wouldn’t you be angry if I disappeared during school and didn’t tell you?”

And that was the thing about Allen. He made it so easy to turn your eyes away from what needed to be discussed - a master of redirection. If Alma wasn’t so used to Allen’s manipulation, he might not have noticed, but he was tired and in no mood to sugarcoat the reality before them.

“Yes I would be angry!” Alma snapped. “But I want to know _why._ If it was just you visiting a friend, it wouldn’t be such a big deal, right? Why does it feel like I’m missing something?”

Allen opened his mouth to respond but was cut off by Lavi’s joyous remark. “Hey guys!”

Alma turned his head aside to see Lenalee and Lavi approaching, Lavi seemingly blissfully ignorant and Lenalee all too knowing, face pensive as she glanced between the four of them. It was only then that Alma noticed how much more crowded the school was - this was no time for some kind of useless argument, as most were with Allen.

“Morning guys!” Alma said as cheerfully as he could, which wasn’t much, really. Allen greeted Lenalee and Lavi eagerly, easily turning the conversation away from their argument and into some other mundane topic. Like the homework for English Alma had forgotten to do. “Shit!”

Allen laughed, but his eyes were startling - not as much warmth, or light-hearted joy. It was heavy, and Alma knew it was a relic from their argument.

Lavi, however, was cleverer than Alma gave him credit for. “So, what were you guys talking about?” He asked casually, arms folded behind his head as they walked into the school. Allen laughed nervously, and Alma took this chance to look at Link, who had stonewalling down to an art apparently. Or maybe Alma didn’t know him well enough to read any tell-tale signs.

“They got mad at me for disappearing yesterday,” Allen said bluntly, shocking Alma who thought he would have kept it all a secret from them. “And oh! I forgot to reply to your texts yesterday, I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Lenalee said, waving it off. “I just had a question on the homework, but Lavi ended up helping me with it.”

They walked down the halls and into homeroom, and Alma lost his chance to ask more from Allen.

* * *

On the night of the first day of school, while Lenalee and Komui were preparing dinner, Komui suddenly sighed. “Dearest sister?” He said, singing the words.

“Yes dearest brother?” Lenalee called back just as lightly, tossing the salad and eyeing it critically. It was missing something…

“The dressing, Lenalee,” Komui said amusedly, and she laughed before hunting it down to add to it. “But, there is something I’d like to talk to you about.”

Lenalee stilled over the salad, fingers clenching the plastic bottle just a smidge tighter and apprehension coiled in her stomach. Those words were never good ones, especially coming from her brother and in that tone of voice. “Yes?” She encouraged, pouring the dressing in.

“Well, you have a new classmate, correct?”

Lenalee rolled her eyes. Sometimes the way her brother talked… It reminded her that he had spent years going from one scientific facility to another. God knew why he settled for being principal of their high school. “Yes,” she said, mouthing a tiny oops as she finally let up on the dressing. “Allen Walker. He’s in several of my classes! A nice boy, I think.”

“No boys are nice,” Komui said promptly, then grimaced. “Though you may be right about this one.” Then quickly, “But that doesn’t mean you should get close to him!” Komui waved a knife in her direction warningly as Lenalee laughed airily, tossing the salad some more.

“It’ll be hard not to when he’s already friends with my friends!”

“Lavi?” Komui asked, slicing the salmon before him thinly with a frown.

“Nope! Alma and Kanda! Isn’t that weird? I kind of thought only Lavi and me were their friends.” A mean thing to say, really, she thought, moving to grab plates to set the table. But, a true sentiment. Aside from Lenalee, Lavi, and now Allen, Alma and Kanda didn’t really have friends, which was weird. Alma was _very_ charming, and funny to boot, and both of them were good looking. You would think, Lenalee mused, that they would have tons of friends. Or, Alma at the least, since Kanda was as friendly as a hedgehog.

_“Alma and Kanda?”_ Komui asked, aghast, and Lenalee frowned, turning to regard her brother. He hastily rearranged his features into a tentative smile. “Ah… I wasn’t expecting that. Hm,” he carried the salmon over on a wooden board and settled in the center of the table, and Lenalee grabbed the rice. She sat at the table as Komui combined the ingredients and set them on plates.

“While that’s good to hear,” Komui finally said, sitting across from Lenalee at their tiny table and regarding her intensely. They normally ate in the kitchen, despite having a dining room. It was too big, and made Komui feel sad. Her brother more than she remembered having parents, and so Lenalee demanded to eat in the kitchen just to make him smile again. She would never say it, but Lenalee didn’t actually remember her mother and father. To her, there had only been Komui.

“It wasn’t what I wanted to talk to you about,” he finished, folding his hands and bowing his head to give silent thanks. Lenalee mimicked him, and though she prayed to no god or deity, she silently thanked someone. Something. Her brother. She started eating when Komui did. “About Allen… dearest sister, I know your heart is big, and he may be kind, but he is one person you should not get attached to.”

Lenalee stilled over her forkful, looking up with a frown. Sure, she had cruel thoughts, but she never actually said them. And her brother, while overprotective, was never so cold-hearted as to tell her to ignore the new kid. “Why?” Lenalee demanded, setting her fork aside. Komui sighed at the gesture.

“...There are some things in his past you don’t know about and that I am not allowed to disclose, but suffice to say that getting close to him will bring nothing good. He is surrounded by trouble, Lenalee, and some people are not worth the effort.”

She jerked back, shocked. Her mouth worked silently, and she felt anger swell suddenly within her, trying and failing to swallow around the lump in her throat. That was one of the cruelest things she’d ever heard her brother say.

_Some people are not worth the effort._

“How could you say that?” Lenalee demanded, because what little she knew of Allen was enough to tell her that he _was_ worth ‘the effort’. He hadn’t done anything to warrant such cold words. “What’s so terrible about him that you could tell me to be cruel to him?”

Komui seemed pained, as if regretting the entire conversation. “Lenalee, I know your heart is big, that you’re gentle and sweet, and God those are things I treasure about you, but _listen to me when I say_ that Allen Walker is nothing but trouble!”

“Give me a reason!” Lenalee snapped angrily. Yes, she didn’t remember her parents, or any of her extended family, and sure Komui had basically raised her, but she wasn’t a child to blindly listen to his words. “Why shouldn’t I be friends with Allen?” _A bit late anyways,_ she thought, thinking of all the time they had already spent together. He was charming, enough to make a person blush just from seeing his smile. It would be hard to pull away from him.

Komui hesitated, and Lenalee could see the bags that never went away from under his eyes. He worked hard long hours - long after Lenalee went to bed to get her ‘beauty rest’. It wasn’t an exact curfew, but Komui was adamant about her getting enough rest. _He’s always so tired,_ she thought, looking over his pale demeanor. Was managing a high school so much work?

“I’m not saying ignore him,” Komui amended. “But don’t get close to him - don’t get attached. Please, Lenalee.”

She could tell this was as much as she would get from him, and sighed, looking down at the meal they had made together, in the home that was more theirs than their parents’. It was so very hard to deny him the tiny favors he asked for when he’d give her the world on a silver platter and apologize for being unable to call down the stars and moon.

“Okay,” she said, closing her eyes at how relieved his sigh was. “I’ll be careful. I won’t get too close.” After all, she didn’t really know all that much about Allen. It was nothing to promise to be a bit more careful. “But I can’t stop being his friend - I already am.”

And Komui laughed lightly, eyes creasing and lips curving low and soft, in that way that spoke of all his love for her. “I didn’t expect any less, really.”

* * *

Lenalee rested her chin on her fist and glanced contemplatively at Alma, who looked so pensive it was a wonder the teacher hadn’t noticed how distracted he was. He made no move to hide his sighs or searching glances, or the senseless doodles filling the margins of his paper. Lenalee wasn’t blind or stupid. The moment she had laid eyes on them this morning she had known they had been having some kind of argument.

They were always having arguments, it felt like. Allen was fun to be around, but Lenalee could do without all the drama he seemed to be brewing. But that wasn’t fair of her to think. She’d never even bothered to get his side of things. Only the long sighs and tired looks Alma always gave.

Perhaps it was time for a change. She had promised her brother not to get any closer, yes, but she could only hold back so much before she became less true to her own sense of self.

Komui had given her everything, but she did not owe him her life. Then she laughed lightly, thinking how dramatic it all was. If things worked out well enough, Komui would never even know how much the boy named Allen Walker really meant to her.

At the end of the school day she distractedly navigated her way through the halls, sending a brief text to Komui that she’d be with friends - no names, though she felt the tiniest bit bad about it. Well, he shouldn’t try to micromanage her life as much as he was, anyways! Lenalee could choose her friends, and Allen Walker wasn’t anyone to be ashamed of.

Luckily, she caught him leaving the school’s front doors. “Allen!” She called, waving with the hand still holding her cell and wincing when the star shaped phone charm bumped her forehead. Allen turned back just in time to see it and grinned as she blushed from embarrassment. Quickly pocketing her cell she headed towards them, giving Link as big a smile as she could manage. She _was_ about to ask for a favor, after all.

“Lenalee,” Allen greeted warmly, and she marveled at the way he made her feel - how he made most people feel, she thought. As if they were the only ones who mattered in the whole world. A heady, rushing, sensation. _There,_ she thought, just the slightest bit charmed, _is something almost dangerous about how charming he is._ “What’s up?”

She bounced on her feet lightly, psyching herself up. “I was wondering if I could come over to your place for a bit - there are some questions I have on the math homework Nyne gave us, and I think you’re the best as it.” She _could_ just ask Nyne herself, friends as she was with her brother, or even Lavi, but she needed to talk to Allen.

“Oh,” Allen blinked, and then the most pleased smile she’d ever seen on him crossed his face. _He is so genuinely happy to be asked for help,_ Lenalee marveled. “Of course, Lenalee! Of course, here, just ride with us! We can give you a ride back home if you need it.”

Lenalee laughed, waving it aside as she walked beside them, peeking at Link to check if - yes. He didn’t seem to entirely mind, or, at least, he didn’t hate the idea of her coming over if his blank face was anything to go by. “No, it’s okay! Komui will give me a ride.”

At _that_ Link frowned. “Ms. Lee,” he started, and Lenalee felt the beginnings of a strained yet amused smile. _Ms. Lee,_ he said. How strange. Quaint, even. “I’m sure it’ll be less trouble to give you a ride back home than for Principal Lee to drive all the way out to where we live to pick you up.”

Well. He _was_ right. Allen and Link lived on the exact opposite side of town that she and her brother did. Smiling ruefully, she nodded. “Then I’ll take you up on that. And you don’t have to call me Ms. Lee,” she tacked on. “Lenalee is just fine!”

Link’s face was pinched. “I’m not sure your brother would like me being so familiar.”

She laughed shortly. “My brother! If possible he’d have me _homeschooled._ Don’t worry about my brother - _I_ want to be called Lenalee.”

Link’s frowned deepened even more before he relaxed into a very small smile. “Then, Lenalee.”

“Good,” she said.

* * *

Their apartment wasn’t too different from the last time she’d been there. More knick knacks, homier. A subtle difference that made it all the more warm. Link handed off his bag to Allen who left to their room, the blond retreating into the kitchen to make snacks, which Lenalee thought was adorable. Komui used to make Lenalee after school snacks, too.

When she was seven.

But, she mused as she settled on the couch, Allen _did_ have a seventh stomach from hell. He was literally always eating - just on the ride home he consumed two granola bars and a slightly bruised banana he somehow found stuffed in between the console and the passenger seat. The face Link made when he saw it had left Lenalee in stitches.

“Would you like some tea?” Link asked, and Lenalee nodded, even more amused. He was almost like a mother, she thought.

The homework excuse had been mostly fake, but not entirely, so she set about pulling it out, determined to at least do part of it. God knows Komui would pitch a fit otherwise, and Lenalee didn’t care enough to have him lording over today’s homework for an hour. She spread it out over the coffee table, thanking Link when he graciously set out tea for her and coffee for Allen. She frowned at the missing third glass.

“You’re not joining us?” She asked, eyeing the way he stiffened.

“No… I need to do some shopping for the groceries. I’ll be back soon.”

Lenalee wondered why that struck as so odd until she realized she had never seen Allen _without_ Link. Always the blond had been beside him, braided hair and severe set to his shoulders. It suddenly felt weird to think she’d be with Allen… alone.

_Oh,_ she thought, coloring. Well, Allen was her friend, and it didn’t _mean_ anything, but it was still sudden. “Okay,” she said as exuberantly as possible to mask her shyness.

At that moment Allen walked out, fiddling with his gloves with a strange purse to his lips, as if disgruntled by something, his backpack hanging by its straps on his elbow. He tilted his head at Link, brows coming down. “You’re going out?” He asked, focusing on the wallet and keys Link was grabbing.

“Yes, to grab groceries. Stay here while I’m gone,” Link said, and Lenalee could hear the implicit order. Instead of irritation or any kind of negative sentiment, Allen simply smiled.

“Sure. I’ll see you soon. Drive safe!”

Link nodded at Lenalee and then left, and the closing the door somehow emphasized their aloneness.

Yet, it didn’t seem to bother Allen. Instead of sitting beside her he kneeled on the ground on the other side of the table, setting his backpack beside him. “Alright,” Allen began easily, grabbing his own version of the homework along with some pencils. Already Lenalee could see he began, and, though she wouldn’t say it, he had the worst handwriting she’d ever seen. It looked almost like shorthand, graceful in its abrupt nature, as if he was more used to jotting down short notes than practicing extensive writing. “Oh! Is there anything you’d like to eat?”

Lenalee laughed and said no and Allen took the moment to grab himself a stack of sliced bread, plastic spoon in mouth and peanut butter jar aside as he reviewed his work. “Alright, so what are you confused about?”

She hesitated, shifting from her perch on the sofa’s edge to kneel as well, bringing them mostly level. He was taller than her, enough that she only had to look up a bit, but it was more noticeable like this. His face was bright and open, light, and she felt bad for bringing the topic up.

But, more than anything else, Lenalee hated seeing her friends sad - and Alma was very, very sad. Allen too, she thought, thinking back to how tired he looked that morning.

“I lied,” she confessed.

“What?” Allen said, head cocking to the side and one corner of his lips quirking, the beginnings of a confused frown in the set of his face.

“I mean, I do need help with the homework, but that’s not why I wanted to come here.”

Allen stilled minutely, hands coming to rest carefully flat on the table’s surface before he sat back on his legs, bringing himself lower than her. It struck Lenalee in this moment, with the clock’s echoing _tick tock_ in the background and the dim sunlight coming through the window, that Allen was amazingly good at controlling his emotions.

His face fell into a measure smile. “Then, Lenalee, why did you come?”

There was that, too. The way he always said their names - a gift, a close touch, an intimacy - it made you feel like the only one alive in front of his eyes.

“I…” she hesitated, looking down at her hands. “I’m worried.”

“About?” He encouraged gently, but with a lingering note, a tone that said he knew what she was getting about.

“About you - and Alma, and Kanda. Something’s wrong.”

Allen’s chest collapsed on whooshing sigh, and he gave a wry smile. “Well, they weren’t exactly happy about me visiting a _friend_ yesterday.” He said, the word friend coming out with a certain distaste that confused her.

There was a wall falling down and shutting her out, and Lenalee cast about for a new line to use. “It’s just you and Link here?” She asked, looking for any signs of a third person, or even a pet.

Allen’s smile turned sly. “Yes,” he said, “I used to live here with Mana before I moved away.”

“Mana?”

“My adoptive father,” Allen said - and, _oh_ \- in his voice was a whole story. A tale of love found and lost, of something dearly treasured. It was easy to hear and see that Allen had adored Mana - Lenalee didn’t even know a thing about this man, but there was something that inspired near envy in seeing this love reflected in Allen’s eyes.

“Where is he?” Lenalee asked, wondering if maybe he was on a trip, or perhaps living elsewhere for one reason or another.

Allen turned and met her eyes, a shift turning adoring love into something so dark she did not recognize it. “He died when I was eleven,” he said, and Lenalee flinched.

She opened her mouth to say something, and snapped it close when nothing came. She looked down at her lap, realizing why it was that Alma had such trouble prying information from Allen. “I’m sorry,” she said sincerely.

“I was emancipated by the state, and so Link and I live together now,” Allen continued, acknowledging her with a smile, but artfully turning the subject away from Mana to Lenalee’s relief. “It’s easier, like this. I don’t think I’d like to have another... father.”

Lenalee thought of her small family - of her, and her brother. She wondered, if something were to happen to Komui, where would she end up? Chills ran up her spine at just the mere thought, and if six years past Allen still held such a fierce love for Mana…

_How broken was he,_ she wondered, _when he died?_

She almost asked how Mana died. The question was on the tip of her tongue, but Allen had so thoroughly shut down that she could not bring herself to bring the subject up again. Licking her lips, she finally took a sip of her tea, too cold to truly be enjoyed. Vaguely, she wondered if Allen did not like tea.

“It’s probably for the best that me and Link are together,” Allen said, a final note in his tone. “Now, you said you wanted help with some of the math?”

Taking the segue, Lenalee launched into her confusion surrounding the new equations Nyne had taught them recently, filing away the last lingering thought that suddenly hit her.

_Why are there no family photos around?_

* * *

“Mana!” He cried brokenly, voice echoing off the long empty halls. It resonated back to him in pitiful wails, and he screamed Mana’s name until he wasn’t sure if he his throat ached from how loud he cried or from the broken sobs gathering there. “Mana, please! Where are you?”

He raced down the halls, searching desperately. Mana had to be here, he _knew_ Mana was here. He couldn’t be wrong.

The building was looming and gothic, so dark he nearly lost himself any time he took a turn. He ran so fiercely down the halls he nearly stumbled over his feet when he jerked to a stop, spying the stairwell. He took the steps one, two, three at a time, jarring his knees when he jumped to the landings. Down, down, down the stairs, another level, three more, he had to reach the basement, that’s where Mana was.

In the lowest levels were the most pristine white halls, reflective floors stretching long and morbidly into vast emptiness. It was only when he heard Mana’s echoing scream that he jolted to a stop, careening down the way. Door after door after door, all the way down the hall, until he reached a viewing window into a large room.

There on a huge hospital bed was Mana, thrashing violently against his restraints, screaming his name.

“Mana!” He yelled, banging his fists against the window so hard it hurt and bruised the flesh to the bone. “Mana, Mana, I’m here! Mana!”

He slid his hands along the window leaving foggy trails until he reached the door, wrenching it open and nearly collapsing in his rush to reach the bed. He was shaking so hard it was nearly impossible to free Mana’s restraints and he kept violently jerking around, screaming mindlessly. “Mana, please!” He begged. “I’m here, Mana, I’m here! It’s okay, you’re safe, you’re okay now!”

He ripped off first the ankle restraints and then his wrists, reaching for Mana at the same time Mana reached for him, brokenly sobbing into Mana’s shoulder as his arms gripped him hard enough to hurt.

“It's okay, it’s okay, you’re safe now, you’re fine, I’m here, it’s okay Mana.”

Mana was sobbing incoherently, shaking his head fiercely into his shoulder, tears staining his shirt. A single word came from the endless wails, forming slowly until he could recognize it. Resting his cheek against Mana’s dark hair, he stared blindly at the blistering white ceiling, tears blurring until they fell like the world on Atlas’ shoulders down his cheeks.

“Mana, Mana,” he crooned. “I’m here.”

_“Neah,”_ Mana sobbed.

* * *

 

With a jolt his eyes slammed open, chest heaving as he shot forward in bed, clutching at the sheets. With a low groan he brought his knees up to his chest, curling in. A nightmare a nightmare just an old nightmare, wasn’t real, wasn’t happening, was already over-

He felt the bed dip beside him and looked up through bleary eyes. The morning sunlight caught on blond hair, highlighted the worried sleepy look in his eyes. A hesitant hand reached out to him and then collapsed like a broken dream onto the empty sheets between them.

“Are you okay, Allen?”

He looked up, felt the tears spill over his cheeks, cold on his feverish skin, throat so tight he could barely force his lips to mouth the word.

_Who?_


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Link's thoughts and reflections.

 

Link woke abruptly, squinting into the coming dawn. The dream he’d had was already lost to the glimmers of sunlight, and he blinked blearily around, wondering what had woken him up before his alarm.

A muffled groan from his right, and Link’s heart stuttered as reasoning and logic finally woke up, sending him from his bed and to the one across the room. Allen was horribly still, as if in some vice grip, but he writhed at times, face contorted in pain, grief. Another low groan, almost animalistic, sent shivers of fear skirting up Link’s spine.

This was not Allen. Allen didn’t scare Link, didn’t give him the urge to restrain him and get far away. 

He sat at the bed’s edge, putting a firm hand on Allen’s shoulder in such a way that getting him into a chokehold wouldn't be hard.

“Walker,” he said forcefully, giving a shake. Whatever the touch meant in Allen’s nightmare, it wasn’t good. His mostly minute shakes evolved into thrashing, almost dislodging Link’s hold. He grabbed both shoulders, holding Allen fiercely. “Walker! Walker!”

A soft whimper, a name Link couldn’t make out. “Allen!”

He stilled as he woke, slate gray eyes fluttering open and sending tears curving down his cheeks with each blink. His eyes roamed the room and he shot forward, shocking Link into jerking back and stumbling off the bed.

He stared blankly, chest heaving with panicked breaths and eyes wide. Slowly, he calmed, and Link sat again. He jerked to lay a comforting hand on Allen’s shoulder and then held it back, firmly placing it on his lap. “Allen, are you okay?” Link tentatively asked, searching Allen’s eyes.

As if still lost in the throes of his nightmare, Allen’s head tilted, eyes dragging before meeting Link’s. They were horribly blank and bare - no recognition. Link’s throat seized with sudden panic, and he gripped his pants, shooting down the impulse to grab Allen and shake the memories back into him.

Struck dumb, Link could only dimly make out the tentative question Allen mouthed, voice stolen by his nightmares.

_ Who? _

No. Link grit hard on his back teeth, taking a deep breath. No, no, this isn’t what Link wanted. He was tired of countless mornings spent slowly bringing Allen back, of moments spent lost as Allen forgot the tiniest of habits that made him whole, as his dreams stopped being his own and became someone else’s. 

“Walker,” Link said firmly. “It’s time to wake up.”

For one long unbearable moment, Link thought Allen was gone. Then, like slow moving clouds over a summer sun, life came back to Allen’s eyes. He blinked and rubbed at them, looking around, and Link ignored the stinging relief that rushed through him, leaving him breathless.

“Link?” Allen asked, a side of his mouth quirking curiously. “Why am I sitting up?”  _ Again,  _ silently hung between them. Link shook his head and pushed off the bed to stand.

“You were half-asleep again,” Link lied, wishing the words didn’t taste bitter on his tongue. “We’ll be late at this rate. Go take your shower.”

Allen laughed lightly and swung out of bed, as if this morning was like every other morning. Link couldn’t help watching him, treasuring every subtle tic that made Allen who he was. His hesitance to look at a mirror, how his hair stuck up in every odd way, how he gave his clothes only enough consideration to determine if they’d hide his arm well enough. Messy, hurried, slap-dash and charming. 

Timcanpy remained by the window sill and Allen shot it a strange smile, maybe wondering why the golem wasn’t fluttering around him like every other day. With a shrug Allen finally left to wash, and it wasn’t until the water turned on that Link grabbed his phone and sat at his desk. He’d long since memorized the number he dialed. 

As it rang he pulled out a notebook and his pen and began to jot down the encounter, ignoring just how many pages he’d filled already. When his words came out erratic and disjointed he paused, carefully inhaling and exhaling until his hand stopped shaking. He jumped when the ringing ended and a stern voice spoke.

“Link?”

“Good morning sir,” Link replied, still making sure to write his notes out. 

“Is there a reason you’re calling me at,” a pause, “five am your time?” Leverrier sounded dry and perhaps a bit angry. It was right before his lunch break, Link reflected.

“Yes sir,” Link said promptly, looking over his notes. In a cold even voice Link told Leverrier what had happened, and how much longer it took every morning to bring Allen back.

When Leverrier spoke next he sounded pleased. “Good job, Link.” As always, the words left warmth and pride settling over him, like coming in from a cold winter’s day and wrapping a soft blanket around yourself. It made all the hard work, the emotional conflict, and the nagging sense that he was not right disappear for just a moment. “Continue to report in as you see fit.”

“Yes sir!” Link said, resisting the sharp urge to click his heels together. Crow training was harsh and severe, and it burned into your bones the memory of what their sworn oath ment.

Link bid Leverrier a pleasant lunch and hung up just as the door to their bedroom open. Allen walked in toweling his hair dry and gave Link a simple smile, and Link couldn’t help the relief he felt at having Allen miss this phone call.

He always made such a horrible face when Link called Leverrier.

With an exaggerated groan Allen flopped back onto his bed, face buried into his pillow. “Ugh, it’s so early. Wake me up when we have to go, Link.”

“Wake yourself up,” Link said as he dated his notes and then closed the notebook, putting it aside and turning to look at Allen fully. “You’re wrinkling your clothes,” Link muttered with distaste. Allen rolled around in bed even more and Link rolled his eyes. Sometimes he was so childish.

The again, Link  _ was  _ older than Allen.

With a sigh he left their room to cook breakfast. Early as they were, Link could maybe make one of the recipes he’d been saving for such a day. With practiced movements he retrieved pots and pans from their space, turned the burner on, and moved around the kitchen with ease. 

Back at central their dorms were only a single bed and desk, and they all ate in the mess hall. Not that Link was complaining, mind you. It was very nice of them to provide so much for their employees. 

But it was nice - to have a kitchen, to cook what he wanted how and when he wanted it. A taste of freedom, of a life down another path. Link didn’t regret his decisions. Being a Crow was an honor in and of itself - being Leverrier’s trusted secretary was even more prestigious. Some at central might sneer at him for what was essentially a baby sitter’s job, but they didn’t know everything.

More than being a Crow, Link was Leverrier’s right hand man, and he would follow him until the end. It was a small price to pay in return for all that Leverrier had given him - a life, purpose, drive, a place to belong.

Finished, Link snapped another photo, editing and angling it until he was satisfied. This was also nice - being able to keep a hobby. He dished out the plates and, after some thought, added more to Allen’s for Timcanpy. It might encourage the golem to come closer. 

As Link walked back to their room, his thoughts drifted to yesterday. He regretted leaving Allen with Lenalee. When he’d returned laden with food, the atmosphere had been the tiniest bit strained, as if she was uncomfortable, and her tea was mostly untouched. She’d eagerly left when given the chance, and though Allen had accompanied them as Link drove her home, he’d worn nothing but his infamous poker face - friendly, polite, distant. 

Later, when Link asked him about it, he’d been informative but vague. He was always like this, Link thought angrily. Didn’t he know it wasn’t helping him? Didn’t he realize that always keeping secrets only hurt him? 

Didn’t he know that Link was worried?

He stopped, hand resting on the curve of their bedroom doorknob. There it was in all it’s simplicity. Link was worried. He was worried and he was exhausted of waiting for Allen - smiling, sweet, with his heart worn so painfully on his sleeve - to change, to disappear. 

Slowly, unbidden, he twisted and opened the door. Allen had fallen back asleep on his stomach, face to the side. Timcanpy was nestled in the small of his back, and Allen’s face was lax with sleep, pale lashes resting against his cheeks, the scar on his face hidden by the blankets. 

It reminded him of a year ago when Allen refused to sleep so easily. It would take them hours, for Allen to stop pretending he was asleep and for Link to stop pretending he was too. Somewhere between then and now it became easier to fall asleep, became habit to say goodnight to each other, became habit to talk lightly. Mostly, it was Allen. Senseless chatter that just as well could have been said to Timcanpy or a wall, but was aimed at Link nonetheless. 

_ That blueberry muffin was so good - hey, Link, could you make something similar? I bet you could. Would you? _

_ I bought more polish for Timcanpy - he’s like a nightlight now!  _

_ I saw a dog today while we were out. I’ve always wanted to pet one, play with one. I wonder if I could have one someday. _

Nothing, nonsense, anything - but he said it to Link. Mindless chatter that Link realized he’d miss. 

He walked slowly over and sat on the side of the bed. Allen muttered softly, not too deeply asleep. It really was getting late now, Link thought, and Timcanpy fluttered a wing, seemingly looking at him.

“Don’t record me,” Link whispered crossly, and Timcanpy’s tail swished round to rest in front of him, as if hiding a smile. His eyes drifted back to Allen, who had a small smile. A kind dream, for once. 

Link wasn’t sure how much time had passed when his phone vibrated him with the a reminder of when they should leave. Muffling his startled response, he shook Allen awake. “Walker, we’re  _ really  _ going to be late now. Get up!”

Allen groaned, digging his face into the blanket before sighing. He shifted onto his arms, rolling Timcanpy down his back and laughing at the sensation. Timcanpy fluttered up and around, flapping his wings into Allen’s face.

“Stop, stop!” Allen cried, laughter in his voice. “I’m up I’m up! Geez, Tim.”

“Breakfast is getting cold,” Link said, turning away from the sight. It took him a moment before he could stand, straight backed and glancing back down at Allen. “Your clothes are wrinkled beyond repair,” he added disdainfully. Allen looked down, tugging at his shirt before shrugging.

Link went ahead as Allen changed into another shirt, and after he’d finished his breakfast and waited for Allen to down the mountain in front him, he thumbed through his phone apps, pulling out his portable notepad.

He prefered pen and paper whenever possible, but sometimes it was easier to just type out a few sentences and then transfer them later. As he scrolled through the notes tension built inside him. They became more and more sparse as he went down. He’d been taking less notes.

Was he seeing less? Caring less? Or, was he caring… too much?

“Link?” Allen asked, voice muffled through a mouthful of food. Link grimaced, and Allen swallowed with a sparkle in his eyes that quickly vanished with his next words. “Is everything okay? You look…”

_ Conflicted? _

He sternly told Allen to finish and Allen shrugged, turning back to his food eagerly.

Shoving aside his existential crisis for a later time, Link gathered Allen and their supplies up and prepared to leave. As he turned to lock the door behind him, he saw Timcanpy watching him from the living room.

It made no indication, and Link was never even entirely sure how Allen communicated with it, but the ghost of a smile chased him nonetheless. He firmly reminded himself that, machine or not, pet or not, Timcanpy was still Cross Marian’s. It couldn’t be trusted, no matter how friendly it had become.

Before Link disarmed the car Allen stopped him, a hand on his shoulder. Link turned to him and found a patient smile, eyes darting between his and the tentative question of  _ Are you sure you don’t want to talk? _

_ I’m not the one with a problem,  _ Link thought.  _ Don’t bother with me. _

Instead, he brushed off Allen’s hand and turned away. “We’re going to be late.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow this took me a long time. Most of this was written, and there was an extra 2k planned of everyone just hanging out, but it didn't serve any big purpose and I just couldn't get a single bit of it written. So here is a rather short chapter haha. 
> 
> Thank you everyone for reading!! I read every comment and appreciate every single one <3 And no, there's no way I'm dropping this!


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kanda and Alma waited along with Link when Allen disappeared during the school day on Wednesday. They discover something is… _off_ about the way Link treats Allen, but are made to leave before they can dig deeper. Thursday, Allen took advantage of Lenalee’s curiosity to avoid Kanda and Alma, but they’re tired of waiting, now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd like to dedicate this chapter to Antheas, who left a truly amazing comment last chapter. It took my breath away. I sincerely hope you enjoy this chapter, and the future ones to come. Thank you so so much for your amazing words.

_Thursday Afternoon_

 

"Fucking _asshole!"_

Kanda threw another stuffed animal against the wall, grasping a book next when the impact wasn't satisfying enough. He chunked that and it slammed against the wall with an echoing thwack.

"I can't fucking believe him!"

He reached Alma's shelves of knick knacks and forcibly stopped himself, grasping the ledges with his hands, chest heaving.

"Are you done?" Alma asked icily, watching him from his seat at his desk.

That inflamed Kanda's anger and he grabbed some strange ragdoll Alma had made and aimed for Alma's head. Alma easily caught the stuffed creature, settling it in his lap.

Kanda stormed to Alma's bed and sat roughly, palming his face.

"He's so fucking aggravating, I can't stand him!"

He could hear Alma move, and the bed dipped beside him. Kanda allowed Alma to remove his hands, meeting his blank face. No anger, no smiles. Simply there.

"I'm going to grab some water," Alma said when the moments stretched into minutes. "Pick this up."

Kanda was tempted to snap ‘no’, but the anger that'd exploded had finally collapsed, and he looked at the mess of Alma's room he'd made. Right.

While Alma was gone he carefully replaced every thing he'd thrown, reaching for the ragdoll last. It was hideous. Some weird creature or person, Kanda couldn't even tell. He'd almost set the thing on fire when Alma said it was meant to represent him. Then he'd started a fistfight because surely that'd been meant to be insulting.

He could hear Alma trooping back upstairs and left the doll in the seat, making his way back to Alma's bed. The anger had left and exhausted him, leaving him almost embarrassed. It was like he was thirteen years old again and raging at the world over every little thing. Meditation and exercise only did so much to calm him down, but even after years of practice his anger sometimes overwhelmed him, controlling him.

Alma eased the door open with a hip and shut it with a foot, juggling two glasses of water and a plate piled high with sandwiches. Kanda squinted at them, scowling when he realized they were chicken salad.

Really, he could live the rest of his life without ever tasting mayo again and still it wouldn't be enough.

"Want some?" Alma asked, already halfway through one.

_"No,"_ Kanda snapped, taking his glass to down in one go. He thought about saying thanks, but Alma had already turned back to his desk and whatever project he had set up there, so Kanda just set the glass on an end table and collapsed backwards on the bed, stretched out. He threw an arm over his face, finally sorting through his thoughts now that his emotions had settled.

It took him a few minutes to understand what he was waiting for. He peeked at Alma and found him engrossed in his eating and crafts. There wasn't going to be any snide remarks about Kanda's temper, no matter how often Kanda expected them. Alma somehow understood that Kanda's rage sometimes escaped him in ways that were almost terrifying.

It left his mind nigh blank with only the need to do something, achieve something, exist outside of himself and be physically in the world. It was a galling loss of control and Kanda tried hard not to have setbacks. He was grateful Alma didn't ever call attention to it like Daisya or Lavi might have.

Then again, Kanda thought, considering Alma. Sometimes there were moments where Alma was almost frightening. They got into fights that occasionally got physical, but Alma's outward temper was quick to come and easy to go. Yet, there was a vengeance and a cruel streak in Alma that alarmed Kanda at times.

Kanda got over things, but Alma would hold a grudge until his dying days.

It was lucky, then, that Allen hadn't pissed off Alma. Yet. Probably.

All day his anger had been building steadily, and after stepping foot into Alma's room he'd finally let it loose, raging until it was gone. He couldn't even go and demand more from Allen again because he'd made like magic and disappeared after school had ended.

He exhaled gustily, considering the day's events.

Allen had smoothly avoided talking to Kanda and Alma for the rest of the day, clearly considering their anger or complaints unimportant. Asshole. Kanda was this close to just letting it all go, but there was that sneaking feeling he had, that suspicion that he and Alma were somehow involved. No matter how frustrating or difficult Allen made it, he wasn’t just going to forget and let it go.

He focused instead on controlling his thoughts and anger, trying to replicate what he’d failed to do earlier. Measured breaths, clear thoughts, slowly sinking into a calm like the stillness of a placid lake. No wind to disturb it, no people, nothing. Just existing.

Thoughts came and filtered out and he let them.

Kanda wasn’t sure exactly what set the memory off. It might’ve been Tiedoll forgetting his tie or the coffee stain on his shirt this morning, or that he left the burner on and Marie frantically had to turn it off. Watching the entire mess, Kanda had grumbled then, over Alma’s laughter, “Have you lost your damn mind, old man?”

Tiedoll only chuckled, patting Marie fondly on the shoulder. “Not quite yet, not yet.”

Then, he remembered. Sitting at a table too tall with Alma beside him, Allen lecturing his father in the kitchen over leaving the oven on. One of the very few times Kanda and Alma had visited Allen instead of the other way round.

_A bit touched,_ someone had said. A voice just shy of gravelly, someone much older than him. Who had it been?

“Do you remember?” Kanda asked abruptly. The different angle of the sun told him some hours had passed, and Kanda was amazed Alma had left him in peace for so long.

Alma hummed inquisitively, bent over his latest hobby. They were a dime a dozen and Alma’s room was littered with the evidence. Photography, sculpting, art, gardening, baking, running, swimming — he completed a task and then dropped it for another. Kanda was still laid stretched out on Alma’s bed, and he tilted his head to figure out what Alma was working on. It looked like he was writing something.

“Remember what?” Alma finally asked when Kanda didn’t elaborate.

Kanda frowned, dredging up an almost forgotten name. “Mana,” he said at last to the ceiling, eyes locked on those stars. Alma made a noise, chair squeaking and paper rustling.

After a long moment he heard the scratch of a pen start up again. “Not really,” Alma murmured. Kanda glanced down and found him staring blankly at his paper. “We only saw him a few times.”

“He never wanted us over,” Kanda said, like an accusation.

He could practically hear the dots connecting. Alma straightened and turned to face Kanda, eyes wide. “You think it was because of his dad?”

“You always said it was because of our houses or some shit,” Kanda turned onto his side, arm folded and pillowing his head as he scratched a nail over a loose thread in Alma’s bedspread, “but I don’t think so. I think that asshole let us think that.” Allen was sly like that, even as a child.

“You think… he was abusive?”

Kanda snorted, rolling onto his stomach and resting his chin on his arms. “No. They adored each other,” Kanda knew a doting father when he saw one, “but I think something was wrong with him. _A bit touched.”_

Alma repeated the words, brows furrowed. “He never did tell us about Mana. Like, if he’s around or anything. Isn’t it weird? That it’s just Link and Allen?”

Kanda’s mind was still stuck on those words. Who would have even known Mana well enough to say them?

As soon as the question crossed his mind the answer reared forward, obnoxious and arrogant. _Cross._ Cross had said it. The memory flashed vividly, a cigarette pressed between lips, side-eyeing Kanda as he stood at the gates of their school. Waiting for Allen, Kanda reasoned now. Back then he hadn’t questioned Cross’ appearance, but now it made him wonder why Cross had come to retrieve Allen from school when Mana normally did.

_“Today’s an off day,”_ Cross had said, eyes drifting past Kanda. He followed the stare to find Alma and Allen making their way over, conversing eagerly. _“That man… he’s a bit touched.”_ Then, Cross had looked down at him, derisive. _“But you don’t know what that means, do you?”_

Arrogant ass.

“Do you think Lenalee knows?” Alma asked aloud, and Kanda shifted to his forearms to send a questioning glance over his shoulder. Alma smiled. “She went over to his place today for homework help.”

Kanda cocked a brow. “Doesn’t she have a brother for that?”

Alma laughed lightly, tucking his feet into the chair to sit cross-legged, swiveling to fully face Kanda. “And would you ask Daisya?”

Good point.

“It’d be a cold day in hell,” Kanda swore, and Alma laughed again.

“Besides, I think she wanted to talk to him about what was happening between us. You know, we really shouldn’t leave them out like that. Lavi and Lenalee, I mean.”

Kanda thought about saying _It’s none of their damn business_ but that’d just earn him a fight with Alma, and he didn’t much care to start one right now. Instead, he tucked his chin back on top his arms, resting flat on Alma’s bed again.

“I’ll text her,” Alma said, and Kanda tilted his head to lay it down, closing his eyes.

Who was Mana Walker and what was wrong with him?

 

* * *

 

 

Friday came and Alma forcibly hooked his arm through Kanda’s and dragged him over to the administration building, knowing Lenalee would be there; she always came early with Komui and sat there until classes started. The secretaries gave Alma a smile as he headed in, used to his frequent visits.

Komui’s office was always a dangerous place to head to because if he caught sight of you he’d try to foist whatever work he could onto you. Alma generally didn’t mind because he liked to help, but now wasn’t the time to run errands for their strange principal.

It took a few peeks in different rooms but Alma eventually found Lenalee in a lounge in the very back of the building, where she’d moved the tables and chairs aside to do some morning yoga. She’d laid out a purple mat and was doing a split, arms raised above her head in a back-arching stretch. Under her skirt she had leggings on, but Alma was willing to bet that had the door been closed she would’ve done without them.

Still, she had earbuds in and Alma politely knocked on the open door to grab her attention. Behind him Kanda quietly rested against the side of the wall, arms folded and prepared to let Alma do the majority of the talking.

Lenalee lit up when she saw them, removing her earphones but still remaining where she was.

“Alma! Kanda! Good morning. What’re you guys doing here so early?”

They had come earlier than normal, eager to find Lenalee and get the talk out of the way. Alma smiled and went further into the small break room, snagging a chair to sit cross legged on. He dumped his bag beside it and grasped his ankles, a little nervous.

“Well, we kind of wanted to ask you something,” Alma said, nodding towards Kanda, who shifted minutely but otherwise didn’t comment. “Yesterday you went to see Allen, right?”

A peculiar look crossed Lenalee’s face, like she was smiling but what she really wanted to do was scowl. Not an angry look, per se, but a weird one. “Yeah.”

Alma rocked slightly, rubbing the bone of his ankle with his thumbs through his socks. “We uh. Wanted to know how it went.”

Lenalee’s face creased into a complete frown. She languidly withdrew her legs until they both stretched in front of other, pointing her toes straight and leaning back on her arms. “What are you asking me, exactly?”

The tone of her voice indicated she didn’t like where she thought Alma was going with it and he laughed nervously, waving his hand. “Nothing bad! I swear, not like. Gossip or details or anything.”

Lenalee’s shoulders relaxed, and she moved forward to grasp her feet, hands settling into the arch of her soles. “What do you want to know, then?” She asked, voice muffled into her knees.

“Well,” Alma said, glancing towards Kanda. He met his eyes, and though he made no indication Alma still relaxed. “Did he talk to you about anything?”

Bent over as she was, Alma couldn’t see Lenalee’s face, but the muscles in her arms flexed.

“He told me about his dad.”

Alma nearly launched off the chair in his enthusiasm to know more, but he just gripped his ankles tighter, shifting excitedly. “What did he say?”

Lenalee finally lifted from her stretch and Alma felt all his energy die at the look in her eyes. They were set with a calm resolve, an understanding, and Alma wondered, distantly, what it meant.

“He said he died when he was eleven.”

Alma stared.

Mana had died. Mana had died, and they had no idea.

But then, hadn’t Alma assumed something similar? That Mana was simply… gone?

“What?” Alma breathed, swallowing past the immense guilt crowding inside him, closing off his throat. “He died?”

Lenalee nodded, looking down at her hands. “Yeah. He didn’t really wanna talk about it, so I don’t know how. But it’s why he and Link live together. They’re both emancipated by the state, he said.”

Emancipated? Alma had heard the term before but he wasn’t quite sure what it meant. He was still reeling though, caught up in the realization of what Mana’s death meant. Allen had disappeared six years ago and Mana had died. Was it because Mana died? Did it happen later? Was Mana’s death the reason Allen hadn’t come back for so long?

All of a sudden, Alma’s guilt clawed up his throat, gathered under his tongue, made him sick with it. All this time Alma had been blaming Allen for staying away, and the thought that Allen’s reason was something so heartbreaking made Alma feel worse than dirt.

For the first time, Kanda spoke. “Was that it?” He sounded particularly blank and his face was closed off, and Alma wondered what Kanda was thinking.

Another strange look crossed Lenalee’s face, equal parts confused and embarrassed. “Link actually left us there at the apartment. It was a little weird,” she admitted, laughing lightly. “I’ve never seen Allen without Link.”

That was true, Alma thought. Link was always with Allen. In a way, it was a relief, now. Allen wasn’t alone.

_‘I need all these details Walker. I’ve already informed Chief Secretary Leverrier of your break away and subsequent disappearance — don’t think this is staying between us.’_

_‘Of course I don’t think that, Link. I never have. You’ve made it very clear.’_

No, no it wasn’t. Link wasn’t Allen’s _friend,_ no matter how Allen acted. Not by the way Link cut Allen down on Wednesday. Alma drummed his fingers on the seat, chewing the thoughts over.

It stung a little, if he was being honest. Allen told Lenalee all of this, but not Alma or Kanda, friends he’d had for years now. Was it because they never thought to ask, or Allen simply hadn’t wanted to tell them? Would Allen be angry if they knew?

He tongued his cheek, biting down to forcibly drive the thoughts away. He was being selfish again. This wasn’t about Alma. It was about Allen being safe, and happy.

If Allen was emancipated, how did Cross factor in now? Was he Allen’s legal guardian? Did Allen even _need_ a guardian now? What was emancipation, exactly?

Alma’s fingers drummed rapidly to a stop, and he lifted his eyes to meet Kanda’s steady gaze, face still unreadable.

“Okay,” Alma said, giving Lenalee a smile, “thanks for telling us. We were worried, you know? He just disappeared Wednesday and—”

On and on Alma prattled, both to put Lenalee at ease and to lighten up the sudden heavy mood. The topic went from Allen, to the upcoming day, to homework, and so on, small talk Kanda didn’t care to take part of and that Alma didn’t begrudge him for.

Soon enough the school day started and they parted ways to their classes. Kanda and Alma trailed together for a while longer, making the most of the time before their first class before Alma stopped short, grabbing at Kanda’s arm to pull him to a stop.

Forcing Kanda to face him, Alma said, “Don’t go bother Allen about this. It’s only going to make him mad.”

“Right,” Kanda said.

 

* * *

 

 

Study hall came much quicker than Kanda expected, and if he was being entirely honest, he _had_ given Alma’s parting words a thought or two.

Those thoughts vanished the moment he laid eyes on Allen and Link sitting docilely beside each other, like Wednesday had never happened.

Storming up to the table, Kanda slammed his bookbag down on it, startling Link who gave him a prim scowl. Allen was less reserved, cocking a brow, as if to ask ‘and who pissed in _your_ cereal this morning?’

Ignoring the searching look and expectant gaze, Kanda gruffly sat, crossing his arms and legs at the knee, regarding Allen down his nose, knowing the look would piss him off.

Rolling his eyes, Allen set his work down and leaned forward on his elbows, cupping his chin with one hand and fixing Kanda with a wary look. “Can I help you?” Allen asked, voice thin enough to be condescending.

“What the fuck is going on?” Kanda demanded.

Allen huffed a dry unamused laugh. “I’m afraid you’re going to have to be a bit more specific than that.”

“You two,” Kanda said, lifting on hand to point with two fingers at Link and Allen, “are not fucking roommates or friends. So what’s going on?” He tucked his hand back in, shoulders tense.

Allen watched him, face carefully blank. Link was a little less practiced in lying, eyes immediately lifting from his book to fix Kanda with a frown.

“Lena said you’re emancipated,” Kanda continued, meeting Allen’s eyes as he said the next words, “and that your dad was dead.”

He could see the moment Allen’s jaw clenched, mouth taut and eyes icing over, even as he determinedly fought to keep his expression void of what he was feeling. Ignoring Link, Kanda barreled on, mouth forming words that he knew, already, were going too far. “Is that true? Your _crazy ass dad is dead_ and—”

The sharp screech of Allen’s chair shoving back cut off his words and Kanda barely reacted quickly enough to register the furious twist in Allen’s face, his left fist catching on Kanda’s cheekbone with enough strength to snap Kanda’s head to the side, throwing him back and sending him and his chair to the floor.

He landed hard, hitting one elbow on the floor at just the right angle to send the entire arm into a jittery mess. Kanda had barely twisted to his side before Allen was there again, grabbing his shirt collar to haul him up and sock him in the same place again, teeth splitting his cheek on the inside.

It was that sudden taste of blood that jerked Kanda back to reality, and before Allen could punch him again he grabbed his wrist, other hand coming up to clamp on the arm holding him.

_“You goddamn asshole!”_ Allen furiously pulled at the hand Kanda held, strong enough to nearly wrench himself free. “You’re a real fucking ass, you know that? Do you ever even hear yourself? How can Alma fucking _stand you?”_

“The same fucking way he looks at your goddamn face every time you lie to him!” Kanda snapped. He forced his feet back under him to finally stand, letting go of Allen’s right hand to shove him back. Allen stumbled into the table, grasping at the edge of it to steady himself. Kanda grabbed his shirt, hauling back to crack his own knuckles against Allen’s face.

The worst goddamn thing was that Allen had never been weak, no. He rolled with the punch, finally wrenching his own bloodied hand free of Kanda’s grip and using that momentary distraction to kick Kanda’s knee in, nearly snapping it back.

Cursing, Kanda backed off, favoring his right leg. He could see the moment Allen lurched forward only to suddenly stop.

Link was holding him back, arms around his chest, dragging him away from Kanda. Over the dull roar of his own blood in his ears, Kanda finally registered the angry, nearly _frightened,_ yelling of their teacher and classmates, and Link’s own steady condemnation.

Kanda gathered the blood in his mouth and spat it out, meeting Allen’s frenzied glare, unapologetic.

 

* * *

 

 

In Komui’s office, framed by the towering levels of paperwork, Komui sat, head in his hands. Kanda and Allen sat in straight backed chairs before him, Allen nursing his cheek with an ice pack a secretary gave him as Kanda steadily ignored both of them.

Komui took a deep settling breath before looking up, piercing them with a deeply unhappy look. “Unbelievable.”

As if that single word had finally broken the dam, Allen surged forward in his seat, hand dropping his ice pack, “Oh, Mr. Lee I’m so sorry, I really didn’t mean to scare the teacher—”

_“That’s_ what you’re apologizing for?” Komui demanded, brows shooting to his hairline.

Allen faltered, and after a long second his hand finally drifted back to tenderly press the ice against his cheek again.

Kanda scowled.

“You are literally bleeding on my floor,” Komui said, jerking a hand haphazardly towards Allen’s left fist. Kanda’s own right hand had split over the knuckles, too, but the bleeding had already clotted. “And you’re _apologizing_ for scaring my staff.”

A beat passed in silence.

“Honestly,” Komui continued. “I shouldn’t even be so harsh about it. According to her, you two are the most savage students she’s ever seen.”

At that, Allen cracked an amused smile.

“And I _don’t_ mean that in a good way, Walker.”

“Uhm,” Allen said.

“I don’t even know what to do,” Komui muttered, shuffling through paperwork between their files he’d pulled. “Tiedoll, of course, is going to be informed,” Komui said, speaking louder over Kanda’s groan, “but there’s no one I can call for you. And I’m definitely not reporting this to the Order.”

“I really appreciate that,” Allen said, sounding so genuine it took Kanda aback.

“I can’t speak for your worser half, though.”

Allen laughed, dry, entirely humorless, and self-deprecating. “Of course.”

Komui flipped one page back and forth in Allen’s file, extremely small when compared to the packet in Kanda’s. What the fuck?

Sighing, he closed their files and set them aside, steepling his fingers and regarding them morosely. “You two,” Komui said, closing his eyes, “stress me more then all this paperwork in front of us does.”

That’s a lot of paperwork, Kanda thought.

“Just… just go home. You can’t go around school looking like that, and frankly, I’m considering in school suspension, at the very least.”

What bullshit, Kanda thought, scowling. At least let them stay at home.

“Alright, you two are dismissed. Please don’t scare my staff and students like that again.”

“Yes sir,” Allen said.

 

* * *

 

 

After texting Alma that he was going home, Kanda headed to his class to grab his bag. He passed Link as he left Komui’s office, glaring at the blond who merely met his gaze, held it for a moment, and then purposefully glanced away, starting towards Allen who had left after Kanda.

Kanda walked quickly enough to ignore Allen’s calls behind him.

Unfortunately, lunch ended right around when their meeting with Komui had, and the crowded halls weren’t enough to deter Alma, Lenalee, and Lavi from finding him.

Groaning from the headache that had started from the throbbing pain his cheek, Kanda ignored Alma’s frantic demands, Lenalee’s scolding, and Lavi’s curious insistence about what all had gone down.

“The entire school is talking about you two,” Lavi said, scrolling down something on his phone. “Yuu, what did you _do?”_

“I punched that asshole in the face,” Kanda said, finally making it to his class. The teacher stiffened at the sight of him and Kanda rolled his eyes, collecting his bag and leaving.

He was just about to grab Alma by the arm to finally stop the endless whining when something Komui said registered, and he pulled up short, whirling on Lenalee. She blinked at him, taken aback.

“Komui knows.”

She stared at him owlishly. “Knows what?”

Huffing, Kanda gestured shortly towards Alma. “About that asshole. He has a file on him.” He hesitated, words crowding his head and forming no actual discernable sentences, before finally glancing at Alma.

Immediately Alma took over, dropping his questioning for the moment. “We think Allen’s really in trouble and that… Link isn’t his friend. Something really weird’s going on, and we don’t think Allen’s… safe, with Link.”

“Not safe?” Lenalee echoed, alarmed.

Kanda watched as Alma pinned Lenalee with a beseeching look, wondering, indeed, why Alma had ever attached himself to Kanda. “Can you help us?”

Lenalee mulled it over, hugging her chest with one arm and resting her elbow on it, fingers on her lips. They were near a row of lockers, close enough that the general flow of students ignored them, but Kanda knew the passing period was nearly over.

Slowly, as if already regretting it as she said it, Lenalee murmured, “On the first night of school, my brother told me to avoid Allen. He said Allen was nothing but trouble. Of course, I didn’t listen.” She laughed humorlessly, then. “And now it’s too late. Allen’s the kind of kid you can’t help loving, you know?”

“Bullshit,” Kanda interjected, earning a jab in the side from Alma. Lenalee quirked a smile.

“Funny that,” Lavi said, crossing his arms behind his head, “my grandpa said the same thing — about avoiding Allen, that is.”

They all exchanged a look, wary. On the very first day of school both Lenalee’s brother and Lavi’s grandfather told them to avoid Allen, and the moment the Chan’s knew he was back, they said the same thing.

“Okay,” Lenalee said, dropping her hand. “I’ll help. There’s something… not right about this.”

Alma grinned, pleased.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> July 27th will make this a fic a whole year old! That's kind of amazing;; Here's to a whole year of dgm fic writing, and of course to this first anniversary! Thank you for reading ♥!!!

**Author's Note:**

> On top the mountain of high school AUs I present to you one that could only be reasonably described as “I tried my best.” The rating for this might be bumped up to M simply because I don’t think what I write here could very well be presented on TV as Rated T, but there is no, say, explicit sex, so don’t get your hopes up.
> 
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> [CoP playlist](https://playmoss.com/en/neachi/playlist/cave-of-poppies/)
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> [writing tumblr](http://nea-writes.tumblr.com/) | [☆ twitter ☆](https://twitter.com/nea_chi) | [tv tropes page!](http://tvtropes.org/creator/nea-writes)


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